Adapting to change has been much easier for me now, compared to two years ago. I am able to adapt to personalities at a quicker pace than before and the obtacles are much easier to overcome and conquer. Dealing with different types of personalities can be a source of frustration and stress, for example. Two years ago, I had such a difficult time interacting with my coworkers. They were different from me and being around them was almost a threat to my well-being. Many of them were much better than me in many ways; many of them communicate effectively; many can listen very well; many can pretend to know everything very well; many can adapt to change much quicker than I can. I used to have such a difficult time standing around my coworkers that I had to remove myself from the group so the uncomfortableness would go away. There were days where the only thing I wanted to do was to sit in my crowded and hot cubicle (the air was abnormally high at my old cubicle compared to my current space) and not have to travel anywhere else on the floor, and surely I did exactly that; I was known to some of my coworkers as the girl who didn't talk to anyone.
The bad part about being quiet is that people have the tendency to gossip about anyone even if the fact is misinterpreted and misunderstood at all levels. It's the Telephone game where one statement is misheard and the spiral of it continues to the end of the row and when the last person hears it, the statement has been altered and distorted so much that it may be 1000% inaccurate. I was the victim of the gossip --and probably still now-- and experiencing the negative feedbacks from coworkers was unpleasant but however, looking back, I see the goods it did to me. It's definitely a life-changing event; I am more mature and stronger because the idea that no one gives a care about me is more tangent than ever and from that I learn to do everything for myself. At that time, anger loomed over me and I felt trapped as if I had no way to get out of the hole that I fell in and I blamed myself for digging the big crater. I wanted to see the light at the end of the tunnel but the further I walk the darker it was and the exit felt so far away from where I stood. I was trapped in my own negative thoughts and had no way to get out despite all attempts to find the exits.
Today, I am beginning to see the light in the tunnel. I am in my 20s and the elders always commented how I have so much potential to do great things in the long years ahead. Of course, as a depressed and discouraged person, I didn't believe them but the truth lies behind the thought speaks for itself in other people's life and I am a convert to the belief. I believe I have a long road ahead of me and the opportunities to do great work are boundless and possible. How did a depressed me turn into such a positive person in just 2-3 months? First of all, the good relationships with my family gave me confidence to believe what I want to believe. I get good feedbacks from my family and the result from this is more confidence, I have more confidence because there are people believe in me.
Secondly, I have came to accept my life for what it really is. I accept that there are mean people in the world and they will do whatever it takes to take away my joy and sanity. The best part to learn was that if I do not give the bullies my attention they will stop; bullies feed on the victim's attention and I come to not let it happen every again. I have accepted that I am not where I am supposed to be according to plan.
Being more positive has helped me to adapt to life much easier. I am able to think more clearly as I sit with clients and deal with coworkers on a daily basis. I am able to get so much work done during the work hours. It's true: life does get better, and the wait and patience will be all worth it.
