Adele, the Music Maker

In 2011, Adele, a British singer based in London, was reported to cancel the rest of her tour because of the laryngitis that she had and many fans were disappointed.  She was discovered by a record company after her music was heard on MySpace.  Adele became a pop sensation after her album “21” was released in 2011. Songs such as “Rolling in the Deep,” “Set Fire to the Rain,”  “Someone like You,” and recently the new track “Hello” topped the chart and played on most contemporary music radio stations in America.  On November 20 of this year, Adele released a new album called “25,” the most anticipated album of the year as the artist has not released any new music for the past four years. She was nominated and won many Grammy awards and even the pop sensation British singer Ed Sheeran is afraid to go against her in a Grammy nomination.  Her success is not because of her image, it is her voice, talent, and love of music. 

Music is art. It lets the listeners see and understand another’s person perspective and experience in love or in whatever circumstances that the artist is depicting in the lyrics.  Music is healthy for the viewers and for the listeners.  It changes the way we see certain situations and helps us heal from any problems we run into.  Art is a work by someone or something and it allows the viewers to think and to see something from another person’s perspective.  We see love and heartbreak experience through Adele’s music and lyrics. We can even feel the pain she has to go through in her music as it is played on our favorite radio station.  Her voice is art itself and her songs are relatable, well-written and thought-out.  The sensation we feel is difficult to describe but it can help us to be a more well-informed and a better thinker as we have another’s person perspective under our belt. 

 

America: Being Noisy?

United States wants to sell weapons to Vietnam for the reason that China’s naval ship parked in the territory of Vietnam in the South Asia Sea and Vietnam was unapproved of the action.  Vietnam needs surveillance technology to watch China’s action in the sea. As a Vietnamese American, I find the news quite surprising as Vietnam is rarely on the news; since it needs help from another country to protect its territory, who better to call out for help than America, a country with one of the strongest military power in the world. 

I once told my mom that America can be a bit noisy as we seem to be involved in almost every big conflict in the world. Why can we be peaceful and uninvolved like Switzerland, Norway, and Denmark?  For instance, America is very involved in fighting against terrorism in the Middle East and Europe, we are involved in changing the climate, etc. My mom corrected my comment and said that if it is not for America’s kindness, we would not be living in this land of opportunity.  America is not noisy, she said, they are trying to help as many people as much as possible.  Many women in Vietnam do not have the opportunities that many American women have; they might not be able to open their own business, they might not have the education that many American women have.  Being noisy can be a good thing sometimes for some people, and in the Vietnam war, it is a good thing for millions of Vietnamese fugitives.  I guess my mom is right: being noisy is not a bad thing after all. Sometimes it benefits millions of people in need of help.

The New Year

Every year, I come up with New Near resolutions and of course, they are generally forgotten by the end of January.  I try to be specific every single year on my resolutions but they never pan out to anything and I eventually forget them.  However I made a goal for myself since November of this year and I have been working toward it till now in December. Four days from today will mark my two month accomplishment of sticking to the goal.  What helps me to keep doing it is I have a purpose and I know the why to it.  When we know the purpose of our action, we remember it and it becomes a part of our life much easier. The purpose is a sticky note that reminds us what we need to do and helps us to see the future ahead.   

There Could Be Love

In the book "The Giver," the Giver gave his intern Jonas a happy memory of a family sitting around a Christmas tree, enjoying each other presence while it is snowing outside.  The Giver called the memory as an example of love; Jonas enjoys the memory as it was transferred to him and he longs to experience it himself.  However, with how the community and life is in Jonas' society, no one will ever experience the feeling of love. Everything has to be predictable and same as to prevent any pain and bad experiences for the people living in the community.

What happen if Jonas' world is a reality? What would it be like without love? Without us being able to have a relationship with other human beings? Us humans depend on other humans to live and to continue to live every single day.  We are wired to love, to be in relationships, to have a communal experience and cherish each other's beings.  However when we do not have the choice to love and to be loved, it is against our own nature and I wonder how long will our kind exist.  If we live in Jonas' world where procreation is assigned and given then it is possible for humans to continue to live without love. But living without being able to experience the love from other people is an unthinkable experience for many of us as love is the standard of life. We live, we breathe, we want, we desire love in all parts of our life.  It is not the matter of we want love but it is more of the matter of we need love, because sometimes it is the only reason why we live for.

The Sameness

Christmas was yesterday and like many Americans, my family came together and enjoyed some  good food and fun. Our food consisted of a mix of Asian cuisine and American dishes. We had some ham on the side, all cooked up by a friend of my aunt and some Vietnamese spring rolls and many other dishes that I was unable to put a name on. Christmas has always been a special time in my heart. It was a time of giving and receiving and spending some quality time with the family members whom I have not seen for the past year. We had lunch together then opened presents under the Christmas tree that my sister put up every year at her house.

This year feels different. I don't know if time changed me or if the holiday got old. I do not feel the same enthusiasm and excitement that I once had when I was a teen and in my early 20s. Christmas felt like just another day in the year. I do not feel depressed or empty, more like apathetic to what is going on on this special day that the world looks at very jovially.

I am at the stage of my life where the question of what is my purpose in life pops up consciously and subconsciously.  I have been traveling a lot for the past two years and it gave me a better understanding of the world around me and definitely who I am as a person.  In the book "The Giver," the world of the main character Jonas is always the same and orderly. Family are put together by a committee and children are given to the family to take care of base on their personality.  Each family has a parent and the children are a boy and a girl--no family unit can deviate from that formula. The world is always perfect and if there is any wrong doing--a rude remark, a blatant response, an unwise comment-- by a member, an apology and chastisement are required.  The people's life are all assigned by a group of wiser people, also known as the Elders, in the book; they are given the job for the rest of their life base on their personality.   Everywhere the characters look, there is no color; is is black and white only.  I feel like my world has became that: a black and white Sameness story where nothing much happened and where I know there is so much more in life than the one that I hold.

As humans, we want to know the purpose of our life and it always use different channels to show us what our purpose is and is not.  Whatever happens in life, it is always our responsibilities to discover our own purpose and to take an active position in looking for it rather than sitting around in the living room hoping for a miracle to happen. The key is to actively seek for our purpose and to always hold onto the hope that it will come to us one day.  The key is to always hope.

A White Christmas

When I first moved to America, my family settled in Atlanta, Georgia in October 1995 and we experienced our first white Christmas in December of that year. I was eight and found everything in this foreign land amazing and beautiful wherever I turned. I remember grabbing a handful of snow on my right hand and threw it at my sisters in the backyard of our apartment.  I also remember trying to build a snowman but it collapsed at every attempt and me getting all fussy because the snowman did not stand as I wanted.  That first white Christmas was the most unforgettable memory and it represents one of my first few experiences living in this land of opportunity called the United States.

Then my family and I moved to Southern California and the white Christmas disappeared. We can have white Christmas but we have to drive up to the mountain for one to two hours to get the full snow experience and besides, it is always a hit or miss type of thing as the snow in the California mountain can be unpredictable and my family did not want to put our lives in danger by driving in the narrow spiral roads to where the snow is in the mountain; we did not know the existence for the tire chain for driving in the snow twenty years back.

White or non-white Christmas, I am fine with it. I used to get jealous of the East Coast and Midwest Americans who get all the snow in the winter during Christmas time but my visit to Chicago proved that the last thing I want is the white Christmas as the temperature can drop below zero. Sometimes not getting what we want in life can be a blessing. Maybe that one thing we want is not right and good for us. The snow and the freezing temperature are definitely not good for anyone and I am thankful that I do not live in that type of environment where everything is cold in the winter and where my body cannot handle the low temperature.  I am grateful for the beautiful weather that I have every day in Southern California and I would never trade it for anything else--even if it is white Christmas.  I love my non-white Christmas. I have my family and the people who care for me in my life and that is all a person needs in life.  

Quote of the Day

Quote of the day:
“When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive.”
-Paulo Coehlo

Syrian Refugees

As an American, I am proud to call myself one. No one is perfect and there is no such thing as a perfect country to live in.  America is definitely not a perfect place to live.  We have a big gaps in earned income for women and men, we face environmental issue such as a drought that has never been fixed, and there is racism in some area in the states.  Despite negative aspects of living in America, it is one of the best countries in the world to live in.  In America, everyone has an opportunity to get the career they desire, the job they want, the house they want, etc.

Lately, with the Paris attack still being discussed on the news, many Republican governors refused to accept any Syrian refugees to enter their states due to the radicalization that ISIS and other terrorist group put in some refugees.  One politician said that she would not let a five-year-old refuge enter the state.  The reason to blocking the influx of Syrian refugee is the act hopes to prevent any further terrorist attack in the states.  I can see the point the politicians try to make but the question come in is will this really work? The US has a strict application process for any Syrian refugees who want to enter the states and be a permanent resident and as many as 2,000 Syrian refugees are currently living in the states and whether any of them are radicalized yet should be the main concern the politicians should focus on.  Even if they were not radicalized when they first enter the state, they might be in the process behind close doors right now after they enter the states. We don't know which refugees are being or is radicalized by an extremist group so we have to be cautious when it comes to performing the application process of letting them in the states.

But the hard question to answer is should we let the Syrian refugee enter the states? I believe we should but with caution.  We do not know if they are radicalized or not or if they have a terrorist plot in mind. Keeping the caution will prevent the heartache and the pain that the victims of the Paris attack had to go through.  I believe in the good of people. Everyone is good in one way or another and we should give everyone a chance to create the American dream.

The Windy City

I visited the city Chicago for four days and the Windy City sure lived up to its expectation.  As Californians, we always have had experienced one of the best weather in the world.  We were expecting the worst of the Chicago weather as winter started already but fortunately the temperature was ranging between 40 to 50 degree Fahrenheit during the day, which some Chicagoans commented how unusual it was as the temperature was 20 degree warmer than the usual winter weather.  I came to experience the Chicago holiday season and I got just that and the great warmer weather that my Californian body could handle.  As usual, I planned out all my days in Chicago. I knew exactly what to do at every hour and day and the plan worked out as intended.  We visited the John Shedd Aquarium where we saw the white beluga whale for the first time, the Lincoln Zoo, Lincoln Square, the Museum of Science and Industry, Chinatown, and gave the University of Chicago a visit where the old buildings look just like Harry Potter's Hogwarts. I covered most famous Chicago attractions within the four day span and even had a walking tour around the North side of the city.  I even discovered my favorite mural called Four Season by the French artist named Marc Chagall called Four Season in the middle of the Financial District in downtown, also known as the Loop.

My time in the Windy City taught me how unique the culture is in the city.  The physical layout of most cities are similar but the culture is always different.  It helps me see what is out there in the world and how people live their life. Chicago has its own unique culture and the way it carries out its daily life just like any other cities in the world.  It is home to one of the strongest economy hub in America and to popular sport teams.  It represents big dreams of people who made them come true and it will always stand its ground as one of the most diverse culture hub and where one's dreams become a reality.

Millennials On Fighting ISIS

Harvard University survey found 60% of millennials want to fight ISIS but only 16% of them want to be a part of the fighting in the battlefield. I can imagine people calling them hypocrites and immoral people but as a millennial myself, I can see where the group stands and why they believe that.  First of all, not everyone is meant to be on the battlefield to fight.  There are certain skills everyone must have and they have to have certain personal characteristics. They have to have a tough skin to weather harsh situations, they have to be disciplined, they have to have confidence and be able to present it all the time.  Secondly, they have to believe with in fighting ISIS wholeheartedly and be able to die in battles if that is the case.  The truth of the matter is most millennials do not possess the necessary characteristics to be a strong soldiers and if they were to be put in the battlefield, the only way to go is death. Us millennials are not disciplined compared to our older cohorts. Most of us are still single and do not plan on getting married until we are in our 30s. Some of us do not even hold a full-time job despite how strong the economy is in America comparable to other developing and wealthy countries. We do not even have the maturity to be on our own and still live with our parents due to the lack of financial stability.  

In summary, millennials are not dumb or lack the will, we are not disciplined and do not have the characteristics to fight against one of the strongest terrorist groups in the world right now. In order to be ready to do something big, anyone has to be ready and well-equipped. Millennials just need more time to be ready, that's it. We have the drive but we don't have the skill. 

On What Mr. Trump Said

Presidential candidate Donald Trump proposed to ban all Muslims from entering the United States and the statement has caused a heated argument in the political spectrum in the states and even in Europe.  Mr. Trump is a  real estate billionaire mogul who decided to give politics a try by running for the Presidential election in 2016. Sure he has all the money in the world to run a successful presidential campaign but the question is can he stand a chance in the race to be the next leader of one of the most powerful nation in the world? His statement caused a stir in the right and left wings and politicians are criticizing him for bigotry toward the Muslims. He even caused a reverberating response in Europe; United Kingdom residents voted to ban Mr. Trump from entering its land.

With that said, Trump's statement followed in the wake of the killing spree of fourteen people at a government health facility in San Bernardino, California by a married Muslim couple.  The two perpetrators entered a conference room at the facility where the staffs and the patients were celebrating Christmas and they opened fired with their AK-15 guns. Luckily, they escaped the chase of the police right after the shooting but they were gunned down by the police a few hours later after a strenuous police chase which caused a police man to be injured during the shooting battle. The married couple died during the gun battle and they left behind their six-month-old child.

However confidence Mr. Trump was with his statement, his belief has many flaws in it. First of all, just because two Muslim couple killed people, it does not mean we should ban all Muslim from entering the states. We cannot put a label on a group of people when only a few people committed an act of wrong doing toward other people. The statement is over the edge and it puts a stereotype label on the Muslim religion. NPR interviewed a Muslim woman living in Southern California and she said she was afraid to go to the supermarket, fearing she would get maltreatment from the people she meets in there. We cannot let the American Muslims live out of fear for something they never do or plan on doing. They are just like anyone on this planet, they want to live a comfortable life; they want to make enough money to live on, they want to protect their family and their rights just like anyone else on this earth.

Secondly, the statement can endanger Americans. Radicalized Muslim may see the statement as a confirmation of the hatred of Americans toward its religion and as a result, there will be further hatred toward America.

All in all we should accept everyone and not put a label on certain groups. Everyone is different and we need to take each person's background and current life circumstances in consideration.  In the wake of the latest attack in Paris and in San Bernardino, the world needs peace and we all can contribute to the cause and create a loving place for everyone to live in.

Character

My mom once told me our character is shaped by life and there will be time we cannot avoid it, no matter how far we try to run away.  Life will hit us in the face when we least expect and we will have to accept it as it is.  We will bite and scream and yell and complain at what is happening to us but the only way to deal with the bad circumstances sometimes is to acknowledge it as a part of life. When we accept things for what it is, we are building character. Character is a personality in us where we dig up the strength when we have nothing. Character, then, becomes a source of strength in us and it gives us the needed energy to do what we have to do.  How do we get character? It is gained from the discipline that life gives us. We might not like what life is doing to us as it disciplines us and molds us into a better person but the result of it is the best thing that can ever happens to us.

Regrets

Regrets. They are the feeling that we wish we had done something different than the action we took. The radio talk the American Life on NPR has an episode called “Regrets.” In the in the episode, journalists interview people across the United States about the regrets they have in life.  A sixty-one year old man, who was  a son of Portuguese immigrants, was jailed for thirty years for robbery and doing drugs. He stated when he was released from prison his parents were deceased and he wished he could see them again; at the age of sixty-one, he had to savings and his biggest regret was for living behind drugs for so long. Like the man, most of us have had regrets somewhere in our walk in life. We wish we held onto that relationship with that man or woman, or kept going when things get tough in life rather than quitting.
Regrets make us feel bad about ourselves and turn and twist us around.  Mistakes make us feel regret. Our  failures make us regret. Our failed relationships make us feel regrets. We cannot hide from them. We cannot run from them.  The solution to easing regrets is to accept the situation, to learn from it, and to move on. It is not an easy decision to turn regrets into lessons but it is possible if we choose to. If we choose to live and move on, then we will. Sometimes all it takes is to take that first move to live a better life and to move on. It is not simple, but if there is a will, there is always a way. 

Cracking the Transit Maps

The National Public Radio has a talk show called Science Friday where the show's hosts discuss a variety of science topics and many professionals in the science and technology field take part in the discussion.  Recently, a new discussion was on the transit maps that many big metropolitan cities use every day. Residents and commuters in big cities such as London, Paris, New York City, Los Angeles, and Berkeley-San Francisco area, for instance, depend on the transit maps to get to where they need to go. Their jobs, their way home, and their way to social settings depend on the pathways that the maps show. I was in Paris in September for one week and I could not live without a transit map in my purse; the commute from the Musee Louvre to the Eiffel Tower would take close to one hour if walking is the method used to get from one point to another while taking the metro would take twenty minutes.   With traffic, the time spending walking would take much longer than the approximate time of one hour. That same goes for my time in London as well, the tube map was one of my best friend there; and because of it I was able to see many museums that London is known for.

Researchers at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) and in London propose new maps that would make the current transit maps easier for commuters. One London researcher wanted to turn the Paris metro map in a circular shape rather than the current rectangular shape that it has. An MIT researcher uses the science of the peripheral eye vision to help formulate the new maps for the intricate NYC subway map;  I could see why the NYC subway map need renovation as my time there proves how confusing the subway can get if I was only a visitor there.

However, there are millions of people who use the transit maps for over a decade in their daily life and they have no problem in the big cities.  Of course, first-time comers of a city--or any city-- will have problems with using the maps as they are not accustomed to reading them, but they will.  Our brain is wired to understand anything and it may take time for it to get there but it is possible.  Rather than using research money on making new transit maps, why not put it elsewhere that are more beneficial such as education, community events, and healthcare? When we focus more on making people's life better, whether it is through education, healthcare, and community events, the world will be a better place with smart people walking on the streets.  And with this, we do not need to simplify the transit maps or perform any other work that is unnecessary but rather, we should put more effort in other areas.  And best of all, with time, we know people are capable to tackle problems that daily life raises, even if it is as simple as reading a transit map.

France visits the White House

My morning routine consists of listen to National Public Radio for its morning news while sipping on the water bottle and the breakfast I brought from home.  Today NPR reported that a Russian jet was shot down by Turkey in the Turkey-Syria border because the Russian jets have violated the warnings that Turkey gave it.  Ok, I got it, a jet got shot down due to some violation. No big deal.  And then NPR announced France's President Francois Hollande will be speaking in the White House with the US President.  During the joint meeting, President Barack Obama welcomed President Francois Hollande warmly with a fifteen minute speech. Obama reminded the leaders that Americans love France and its diverse culture; we will always remember the Eiffel Tower, going to the local café and the brasserie for lunch, walking along the river Siene while vacationing in the City of Lights.  Obama also remembered the time when the French stands by the US side when the 9/11 attack happened and ended his speech with the confirmation that America will stand by and give unlimited help to France.  And in return, President Hollande accepted the confirmation for unity with the US.  

One of the wisdom I discovered is it takes experiences to know what we like in life, no matter how smart we are. I was never into politics when I was younger and it took me almost a decade to find that politics is one of my favorite subjects and how it can benefit anyone.  Recently, I did some traveling in the US and in Europe and politics very much fascinate me. I visited political sites such as the House of Parliament in London where the guided tour talked how the political houses in England works, went on a walking tour where a Paris tour guide talked about the political scenes in France,  and visited the French embassy in New York City. Now I find politics very relatable to my own life and to my own world.  My mind is more open to different subjects in the world and to what is out there. When I was in school, I always cringe when I had to go to a history class or any class and the main reason is I did not know how to relate what I learn in school to my own life. I hated how I had to memorize facts and how they do not relate to my life in anyway.  My world was too small and I did not see the world enough to know but traveling showed me the reality of what is out there and forever changed the way I see myself and especially life.  

School should focus on helping students to connect what they learn to their own life. The purpose of education is to teach the students to think for themselves and to relate to what is taught in school to what they know.  It is not about absorbing information and passing tests, it is opening the students’ mind to different cultures and to cultivate well-rounded students who are open to ideas and theory.  Easier said than done, but if we believe it is possible then it truly is. 

Enough is Enough

Many women who were in abusive relationships said that it was hard for them to get out at first but when they made the move to leave, it was the best decision in their life.  It frees them from the bondage and the burden that the relationship was putting on them and it leads to new roads in life.  We can apply the same concept to a job as well, there will be jobs where we have to suck it up and deal with it for a few years and there will be jobs where we have to let it go because our time there is sufficient. We see no point of staying and no growth and it is time to move on to the next stage in life.

Enough is enough. It is a saying that is simple but it has a profound effect on how we make decisions and how we deal with circumstances in life.  Enough does not mean we are a coward who give up and quit, it means we are ready for the new opportunities in life.

The Holidays

I bought my first holiday Starbucks drink in early November and this always mean the end of the year and the new year are about to come.  Like all around the world, Americans take the holidays very seriously. Millions of dollars are spent every year on gifts, shopping, decorations, traveling, road trips, etc.  Us Americans cannot help it that we love the holidays and our tendency to overspend has helped the economy and created jobs, even if it leaves a big hole in our wallets.  

The holidays always bring back the good old memories when I was younger.  My family was not rich, we had enough to live on as first generation immigrants but we still put the holidays as the priority. We spent a lot of money on the food, the decorations, the Christmas tree, the gifts, and we had no regrets.  In elementary school years, the holidays consisted of waking up to a mountain tall  of gifts under the Christmas tree and then the feast with the relatives--which ranges from Vietnamese dishes to American food such as the Asian style baked turkey and the too salty mash potato.  Then the new year eves arrives and this means counting down to the last second of the year while watching the New Yorkers celebrate the New Year in Time Square.  Then there is the eggnog and the left over food that can be eaten for days afterward and they always leave a person full and joyful more than ever.

The holidays can get repetitive and tedious as the tradition repeats itself over the years. But we should focus on the relationship aspect of the time and know that whatever is going on in our lives, there is true joy out there and the holidays is a proof of that. If we take time to think about it, the holidays always bring back fond memories, whether it happened when we went on a first date with someone, or when we first got married, or when we first bring the young infant home from the hospital. Whatever happens in the past, the holidays should always be a reminder of the good old days and gives us the joy that life can take away from us.  

The Victims of the Paris attack

The attack in the Bataclan theater in the 11th arrondissement of Paris on November 13^th. had the highest death casualties, with the death toll of eighty-nine people.  The terrorists entered the theater through the two main entrance and started open fired with automatic guns at concert goers.  They shot the people in the bar area first and then at the audience in the middle and then headed to the balcony and started shooting randomly at the people below. The American band Eagle of Death Metals and some concert goers used the exit on the left side of the stage to escape and survived the attack.  As the terrorists entered the building, one eyewitness, a concert goer himself, recalled turning around and saw a person with a bullet his eyes and many concert goers hid in a closet near the stage and the bathroom stalls waiting for any help to come.  One concert goer pretended to be dead and it seems like eternity before help came. Some witnesses described the inside of the building as a blood bath with people holding onto their loved ones and saying their final good bye to each other.  

All victims came from all over the world; they were nationals of Belgium, Sweden, France, United States, Mexico, Chile,  and Spain. They were students, engineers, teachers, lawyers, normal people who just wanted to have a fun Friday night.  They were at the wrong place and at the wrong time. My Asian mom said once that everyone’s time on earth is already determined by a god and maybe that is the reason for their tragic ending. Whatever the reason is, they have completed their cycle on earth and we all have to accept what happened and look to the future.  The 128 victims will always be remembered and they are now rest in peace. 

I cannot imagine myself holding onto someone who I love as they die slowly in front of me. A French couple went to the concert and the boyfriend was fatally shot and died while the girlfriend survived the tragic episode. Some couples were not so lucky and they died together at the scene. A lot  things hurt in life but losing your love ones is definitely one of the most painful experience anyone has to go through. I was in Paris two months ago and I could have been one of the victims who died in the concert hall or at one of the restaurants that the terrorists targeted. I could have been a passerby on my way back to the place I was staying at and got shot in the head.  All of this could have happened two months ago but it didn’t and I get to see the next day while many victims did not. 

I was very disappointed about something that happened last week and after hearing the story, my pain went away and I realize that there are bigger problems out there and my problems were small compared to what the family and the victims had to go through during the attack and the aftermath of it.   When something  bad happens, it puts everything in perspective and we come to realize what is important and what is not. 

The book The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook has been my to-go book lately and it gives solutions to the daily problems in life. Many readers would consider the problems as minor as they are not threatening or painful such as losing a love one but it can have a dire consequence if not taken the right action to fix it.  For instance, the book shows how to escape from quicksand, how to wrestle an alligator, and land a plane. We might laugh at some of the topics but the solutions are very practical and the problems can happen anywhere. But what happen if we run into a situation where there is no definite answer to a problem? There is no survival guide for the Paris attack. The terrorists came unexpectedly and there is no definite solution on how to manage the tragic episode.  It is good for us to be prepared for the future but many life occurrences are unexpected and there is no clear direction on how to deal with them.  This means we don’t know what will happen in the future so we have to focus on the presence and know that nothing is certain and all we have is today to enjoy it and to make a difference in the world. 

A Letter to France

I was in the ninth grade when 9/11 happened and I can still remember hearing about two tall buildings getting hit by airplanes over the speaker in my school and how my English teacher looked very concerned after the announcement ended. I was focused on the school work and always looking forward to hang out with the new friends I made so the incident did not hit me as the worst terrorist attack in the history of the world. 3,000 innocents lives were lost in a span of a few hours and many injured, volunteers, and family of the victims were left scarred for life.

France had its 9/11 on Friday, November 13th and despite how different the attack was carried out, its impact is very much congruent with the actual 9/11 that America experienced.  One-hundred and thirty  innocent lives have been confirmed dead and the toll will increase if the people in the critical condition will not get better. All over Facebook, users are posting their profile picture with the background of the French's flag in remembrance of the victims and of the event; Youtube and even other popular social media websites are posting France's flag to show support and solidarity with it.  World leaders are condemning the terrorist group ISIS for the unspeakable act and they promise to stand by with France and to provide any help as the country mourns the death of the victims.

These tragedies show how one tragic event can bring strangers together and how hope and prayers can heal the broken heart that was broken by the resentment toward the evil of this world.  Unity is hard to find where people are different in their beliefs and culture but everything is possible and the terrorist attacks in Paris on November 13th prove it.  United we stand was a phrase that I learned during my American history class and it will always hold true in the presence and in the far future.  France, the world is with you so keep your head up and keep hope in your heart, because things will get better.

 

 

Some Thoughts on the Paris attack

At around 9PM Pacific time, my sister texted me about the terrorist attack in Paris on November 13th. I was there for a little over a week in September and it is a city that I look at with only fond memories so I immediately jumped to my feet and check CNN for the latest news on the incident.  I still cannot believe that with all its beauties and wonderful history, Paris is now on an alert mode for terrorist activities once again.

The Paris police force stated there were 128 victims confirmed dead in the event and the toll might increase.  During my stay in Paris, I was living ten minutes from the attacked area so when I heard the news, it felt personal as if it was my own town as I got to know Paris well during my trip there.  Then more news rolled out and many tourist sites in Paris were targeted as well; for instance, a few restaurants in the 10th district and a soccer game had suicide bombing.

One dead victim was student from California State University, Long Beach where I attended college. If the event occurred two months ago, I might have been that CSULB student or other victims in the vicinity. I wonder if that would change me, if I would be the same person, if I would be changed forever, and if I would experience any traumatic mental problem because of the event.  I told my sister that I was in the area two months ago for my vacation and she told me that I should count myself lucky to not have gone through the tragedy.

Life is unpredictable and we can never know what to expect from it.  The audience in the Bacalan theater did not expect that an armed man would march in and started shooting anyone he encountered. No one expected the suicide bombings would occur at a soccer match north of Paris. None of the incidents were expected and that made the events more horrific and painful to think about.  Anger and maybe hatred can be felt by the injured and the world but I think feeling that way will lead to no where, we cannot bring the dead back, we cannot undo the event, we cannot stop the terrorists from performing their act, but we have total control over our reaction to it. Anger and hatred will lead to no where, forgiveness will. When we forgive, we acknowledge what happened, we see it for what it is, and we move on.  When we forgive and move on, the world seems brighter and the future is more possible to deal with. But it is only an if, and that if is always up to us.

Why We Need to Travel

People say you learn as you go and I could not disagree more.  I started traveling as a hobby for the past three years and at first I see no advantage to it, but as time flies by I see the benefits to my wanderlust.  I started traveling in the states initially where I visited San Francisco, Half Moon Bay, Yosemite, Big Sur, Grand Canyon, New York City, Denver, Las Vegas, and then ventured out to Europe, visiting London, Paris, Venice, Munich, Swiss Alps, Amsterdam, ect.  I started traveling mainly because I wanted to see places that I read about only in books and saw people I know flew across the world and posted pictures on social media.  I wanted to see the Eiffel Tower, London Eye, The House of Parliament, Buckingham Palace, eat the macaron and the baguettes that the French are known for, see the house of Anne Frank and many other historical sites in the world.

One of the benefits about traveling is that it helps me to connect information faster.  On the late night of November 13th, there were multiple terrorists' attack in different districts in Paris, from the 11 arrondissement to the 10th arrondissement to the soccer game that the Prime Minister of France was attending; one attack occurred in the Bacalan theater in the 11th district where 128 people died and the location was only an eleven minute drive from the place I stayed at in Paris two months ago for my vacation. I did not walk in that neighborhood but I have passed by it on my way to the Latin Quarter and in fact I almost stayed at a hotel in the attacked area in the theater.  As I read the news about the attack, I can picture myself standing in that neighborhood and seeing the Swat team hovering over the theater where it occurred.  I was in Paris for nine days total so the whereabouts of the neighborhood and the districts are very much familiar to me.  I was able to make connection of my experience in Paris to the news quickly.  In fact I have a friend living in the 19th arrondissement so I sent him an email and was glad he was safe.  Best of all, the sympathy I felt for the injured and killed in the attacks felt genuine as if I was one of them. Heck, I was one of the Parisians living there two months ago.

A lot of time we learn as we go and we understand as things happen and it applies to traveling as well. I enjoyed my time traveling but the benefits to it was not fully understood until I actually get back to the states. I see how the world is connected and when I read the news, the situations make sense and I was able to understand them better and at a faster rate.  It's true, traveling does make people smarter. It helps us see the world out there and if we are open to it, it can teach us anything and we become not just a smarter person, but a more sympathetic person as well.

Standing Up for Yourself

Growing up, I always wanted to make everyone happy and the easiest way to do that is to agree to everything people say. Whether they voiced something that was in contradiction to what I believe in, a false statement, a statement that try to bring me down, etc. I used to put heavy weights onto their thought and ignore the voice in me even if it pains me every time I hear it.  The downside to always agreeing to what people say is that personal growth is not developed this way; in order for us to grow, we have to believe in ourselves and to be able to think for ourselves.

One way to grow as a person is to stand up for ourselves.  This does not come natural and it takes effort to actually doing it.  A side effect to the action is we might make enemies along the way.  There will be people who are apt up to push us aside  in order to conquer the playground that we are in.  We should all keep in mind people are generally good but as humans, we are all different in the way we live and as the result we are more likely to come into a disagreement. When we stand up for ourselves, we discover our true identity and as a result we will grow as a person.  Sometimes we will run across people who will try their hardest to bring us down even if they are wrong. All we have to do is keep on being our true self and one day we will find one person who truly believes in us, but this only happens if we truly believe our own ability.

No Deadline

During my break today at work, I came by my coworker Elbert Lim's cubicle and gave him a visit.  He has been sick for the past few days so I wanted to make the visit a quick one to prevent any transfer of the germs but unfortunately we ended up talking longer than I anticipated.  I asked him if he knows what he wanted to do with his life and he said he is still finding that.  He is 36 year old, single, and he has been working with my employer for the past thirteen years; he has been contemplating about his career path since he graduated from college over a decade ago but he never got around to go back to school since then.

In fact he thought about attending medical or law school but had to cross that out since he found no interest in them. I had a face expression that signaled “don’t you think you should have it all together by now” and he said there is no deadline for anything and that when we are ready, we will know it. We can apply this knowledge to our career, romantic relationship, friendship, etc. The truth is there is no deadline for anything and when we are ready, we will know it and we will excel.  There is no deadline on when we should get married, when we should date a person, when we should own a house, when we should choose a career, etc. So we have to be patient with ourselves and know everything will work out. If something is meant for us, it will work out, and it will save us and help us grow, no matter what that is.  

The Conversation

During my afternoon break today, three of my coworkers were standing in the kitchen, situated next to my office, so as the day was slow today I decided to join the conversation. I spent the first five minutes listening and nodding to whatever my coworkers were talking about. One of my coworkers is an Italian man and he shared his secret of making the eggplant lasagna that he brought to work last Thursday.  I learned there are different types of eggplants, there are the seedless and there are the ones with the mouthful of seeds, none of the fact was taught in my biology class back then in high school.  One of the female coworkers talked about the bake goods that she is known to make for our office.  Within the five minutes I learned so much about food and random facts that sometimes sitting with a book for one hour would not give me.  I am not saying we should all forgo the books as they have proven themselves to be the source of knowledge for centuries, but sometimes the human interaction gets us closer and faster to the knowledge we need than trying to find the fact by ourselves in books. 

One of the benefits of talking to other people is we will always learn something new. Whether it is about cars, the next big gadgets, the current governor of California, what supermodel Heidi Klum wore during the Halloween party last Saturday, the fact will come handy someday in the future, whether it is to impress someone or for functional use.  And best of all we become a smarter person as we accumulate more facts; in fact to think clearly we need to gather facts and generalize them.  Second, talking to other people make us think.  I was at a friend’s birthday party last Sunday and I ran into a guest who is a friend of a friend. We chatted about high school and college and then she asked me, “If money is not the problem, what would I rather do with my life?” I had to pause a bit before answering because to be completely honest, I had no clue.  I felt like I was in the hot seat in a game show and a few second later I heard myself saying I wanted to do some sort of charity work abroad.  Though the question is simple, I had to think on my feet.  Every time I talk to someone, I find myself to think and to have a better understanding of a topic and of who I am as a person, I might make a fool out of myself while talking to other people but being aware of our flaws is a way to know who we are.

The point is every time we interact with someone, we will always learn something, whether it is about some random topic or ourselves.  We become a new being who is a better person than before.  So we have to always be open to people and keep in mind we are no better than anyone and no one is better than us. Sure our lives and age might be different but we can always learn something new with every person crossing our path. 

Success Equation

Success = 5% good ideas + 95% execution

Some Reflection on the New Year

Every day at work, I put on my headphones and turn on my IPod to different radio stations in order to block out the background noise in the office. The most-listened-to songs would replay itself through out the days and in fact the song Wildest Dream by Taylor Swift was played four times this morning and I was expecting more of it later in the day. Today one of the radio anchors commented how she could not believe it is October and that the holiday is coming up and it hit me that the year 2015 is coming to an end in two months. That means the shopping season, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year Eve are coming up.

I can still remember when Y2K was the big talk of the town as everyone was talking about it as if the end of the world was imminent and there was talk of Jesus was coming back. Fifteen years later, none of that happens yet.  This got me thinking how we don't know what will happen in the future. We don't know if any tragedy is heading our way or if a big blessing is coming to us.  We don't know if a big earthquake will hit us tomorrow or in a few years. None of the fact will ever be available to us and all we have is today, this very moment.  That said, we have to make the most of the time we have because we do not know if we will ever have another day on this earth.  So we have to do our best and make good use of the time we have, because every second counts and every second is an opportunity to make a difference.

Knocking on the Door

Yesterday was one of the slow days at work so I decided to give my supervisor a visit in her office. Every day I greeted her once in the morning and then once in the afternoon to ask how was her day. Like most employees, I keep my relationship with my supervisor as professional as much as possible and divert away from any personal topics.

However something different happened today. Somehow our conversation ended up on the more personal level and we found ourselves talking about our lives.  My supervisor was married when she was seventeen and she had her first child five months after the wedding.  She has been married for nineteen years as of this December and she has no regret for marrying at such a young age while most of her friends were out partying and going to college, trying to find what kind of life fits their personality.  Unlike most of her cohort, my supervisor had no choice but to continue with the married life and to take care of her family.  I asked if she ever wanted to give up the marriage and leave her family and she said there was one time the thought crossed her mind. Ten years ago, her husband and she were having financial problems and since her husband was the only person working full-time, it was barely enough to support the entire family and pay the bills.  One day they decided to move to from the worn out house that they were living in and move to an apartment. In order to put out a deposit for  the apartment, her husband had to have enough money to do so and since he did not have enough, he told his wife that he was unable to.  My supervisor was furious at how he handled the situation so she told him that if he did not put down the deposit by the due time, she would take the children with her and leave him.  The ultimatum made him take action and he went to the bank and got a loan for the down payment.  Five months after moving in the new apartment, my supervisor got a  called from our current employer notifying her she got the full-time position here.

One of the lessons my supervisor learn through out her nine-teen years of marriage is that hard work pays off. The rule applies to marriage, any job, friendships, and many aspects in life, because in order to succeed in those aspects in life, hard work is always a requirement.  Another lesson my supervisor told me is we have to fix the problems in order to move on to the next one or else the problem will always be there.  For instance, if our marriage runs into trouble, do we run away or do we try our best to fix the situation first and then move on.  If we continue to run away from the problem and not giving any chance to fix it first, then the problem will always come up again.

Like I said before, I keep everything professional at work and steer clear away from any personal topics. However, sometimes we know the rules and we still break them, intentionally at times. Breaking rules can be a good thing sometimes, because it opens us to see the world differently. I broke the professional rule today and the act showed me more than what I ever expected. I learned my supervisor is more than just this woman who gives me work assignments and make sure I come to work and get back from lunch on time. Inside this woman, there is wisdom, strength, and love in her.  She loves her husband and children and would do anything to provide the necessaries for them.  Only did I open the close door did I found so much wisdom in this woman.  She is only thirty-six but she has gone through so much compared to my twenty-eight years on this earth. Sure she has no college degree to prove to the world that she has done something in school, but she does not need to. Her wealth of experiences in her personal and professional life is enough, and maybe even better than the piece of paper that says she completed a college education.  Sometimes when we meet a person, we cannot make an assumption about them because more likely we do not know them enough to make any.  There is always an imaginary door between us and the other person and in order to fully understand someone, we have to knock on it and maybe break it, if we have to.  When we do this, we come out as a wiser person.  We learn to open ourselves to new perspectives and this broadens our mind to what is out there in the world. Learning from other people helps us make better decisions and as a result we grow and mature and this will eventually helps us when we have to face the same situations on the road later on.

The Like-Minded

It is another sunny evening in Southern California and I decided to spend the evening at an old friend's birthday.  I arrived at the party at 6 PM and I was not the first to do so; there were a few guys playing ping-pong in the backyard and as I walked in the house, I encountered new faces that I have never met before and like any strangers in this similar situation, I introduced myself to them.  I met a person who is an aspiring surgeon, a PhD chemistry student, and an ambitious business young woman.  Then we gathered around the kitchen table to sing  happy birthday to my friend and started the feast.  I decided to sit on the futon in the guest room and next to me sat a girl whom I have never met before. She asked me what was the yellow vegetable I was eating on my plate and I told her that it was a bell pepper.  For privacy purposes, let's call her Jennifer.

We introduced ourselves and that started our conversation from there.  She is a 21-year-old college student in a nearby university and her plan is to open a business in the future.  Anyone could have tell she is smart and that she knows what she wants out of life just by seeing how she carries herself and how she communicates.  She said she was the president of two organizations in high school and was very much academically oriented back then and still now. I asked her why she did not plan to go to medical school and she stated confidently that she does not believe in synthetic medication as a way to heal the body. Smart. Check. Knowing how to think for herself. Check. Confident. Check. Well-round. Check.  Ambitious. Check.

Jennifer was the epitome of my college self and I would do anything back then to become just like her.  Though I am older than her, we are very much similar in the way we think.  She and I believe that school does not teach students how to think for themselves and the only way to learn how is to get out in the real world as the teachers already think for the students by giving them assignments and deadlines; basically everything is set up so the students do not have to think for themselves.  In addition, she believes networking is the key to success.  We have so much in common that for the first time in a long time, I finally do not feel like a lone person in this world who has my values.  I understand her and she understands me.  It's like I found my other missing puzzle piece in a sea of humans.

Sometimes, when we least expected, we will run into someone in life who will assure us that we are normal and that our beliefs are rather prevalent and similar to them.  We feel like a normal human being and knowing that someone understands us and we understand them only enrich our lives.  It strengthens our core beliefs to know someone supports what we believe in and it helps us to see our own ideas from a different perspective.  They give identity to our values and our beliefs become more tangible and more clearer to us and as a result we are more likely to achieve whatever goals we have.  These people are the catalysts to our success as they validate our beliefs. So we have to get out in the world and see what is out there because any occurrence can be the one that we need to transform us into a more confident and assured person.

The One Person

Note: This blog was written on October 24th, 2015.

Today is the United Nation's 70th Anniversary and to mark its creation I went to celebration event at Chapman University, hosted by a local UN Association Chapter of Orange County.  The event focused on discussing the purpose of the UN and how it is affecting the world and Orange County on a local level.  The key speakers and panelists came from different local organizations in Orange County and there featured a lawyer in Irvine whose law practice is focused on international law.  I have learned and read about the UN  in high school and college but I never really grasp the importance of the UN.  People say in youth we learn and aging helps us understand; I finally understand the purpose of the UN and this knowledge broadens my mind to see what is out there in the world.

The best part about the event was the people I met at the meeting. As the event is set in a university setting, I expected to meet mostly law or political science major students as Chapman University is known for its liberal art majors but I ended up meeting professionals from a wide array of career paths.  I met health science students, an international law lawyer, an aerospace engineer who explained to me the difference between aerospace and mechanical engineer, an engineer student who lived in Singapore for eight years and now returned to the US to complete her education, and many community leaders.  My most memorable conversation was with an 18-year-old refugee from Iraq and whose family had to fled three countries before he turned eighteen. He lived in Iraq until the age of five, then his entire family moved to Syria due to the political conflicts in Iraq and where he lived for nine years before moving to live in Turkey for another two years.  In Turkey, the law prohibited his family from working so his parents was constantly struggling to find ways to survive and make some money.  Luckily the UN processed and completed his family paperwork and his family and he were able to move to the US. Despite how blessed he was to be able to move to the US, the paperwork was not easy for his family as they had to wait for two years for the process to complete.

The people I met opened my mind to the reality and the suffering out there in the real world, where I will never see myself having to experience it.  They showed me how blessed for me to have the privilege to live in this country called America and how not living in fear is the greatest gift of all. The 18-year-old refugee stated he was constantly living in fear while living in Syria as he was always afraid of getting bombed and killed from the attacks and all around him was in a constant chaos. There are different types of observations. There are observations that we have to do by ourselves, and there is vicarious observation where other people retell their observation to us. I believe we all have to do our own observation but sometimes letting other people do the observation would help us and save us from the hardship that goes with it.

I did not have to go through all of the discrimination and sufferings that the 18-year-old refugee did but I have had to live in fear.  Though the extent of my fear is not as great and dangerous as his, our conversation shows me how much similar I am to him.  As humans, it is normal to have fear, what we do with that fear is all that matters.  Instead of letting it weaken us, we should use it as the fuel to strengthen us and propel us to be a better person.

And knowing his experiences shows me how insignificant my fear is.  I don't have to constantly fighting to for my life and having a hard time getting the basic life supports such as food and water; even if I don't have the finance to get the necessaries in my American life, I still have help from different sources.  My fear is the future and what is to come and now looking at it, they are insignificant compared to what other people have to go though.  Like the 18-year-old refugee, millions of people in the world are constantly fighting to surve and all they want is enough food to eat and make through the day.  That is the best part about meeting people, we will never know who we will run into and one day one person will walk into our lives and change the way we think and turn us into a completely person. It may take years for that one person to come, but if we search for opportunities he will walk into our lives without us ever expecting.

It's Okay to Make Enemies

During my visit to London, I decided to take a guided tour in the House of Parliament.  The tour guide was a Frenchman who had a perfect British accent and my group consists of mainly Australians, a few British, with the age range between middle school students to college level, and I was the lone American in the pack. The tour guide walked us, in a slow pace, from the House of Lords to the House of Commons to the Common's Library and to every compartments of the House. Each room was brightly painted with royal colors green and red and the metal parts of the furniture were painted with gilded gold-- which an employee confirmed this to me when I asked what the golden color was made up of.  Then in the Member's Lobby we passed by the bronze statue of Winston Churchill.  He was standing with his hands on his waste while flexing the elbow, looking stern like any officials should act like.  Through out my stay in London, I have had passed by a few Winston Churchill statue and in fact I have studied and got tested about him in high school and college, but he never strike me as an interesting person.

However, today changes everything. Mr. Churchill is now very much an intriguing figure. As I scroll through the website Lifehacks, an article shares a few of Mr. Churchill's famous quotations.  He once said, "You have enemies? Good. It means you've stood up for something sometime in your life." When we stand up for what we believe in, it means we are thinking for ourselves and becoming an independent thinker. It might cost us some friends and turn them into our enemies but sometimes that is worth it if what we are doing will produce good results.  When we follow crowds, there is a high chance we will fall into the group thinking trap and as the result we are not doing our own thinking. More importantly, group thinking can be detrimental to society.  For instance, during World War II, many Germans follow the lead of the Nazis when they sent millions of Jews to the concentration camp to be gased and died there.  Many Nazis members did not have a clear idea of why they were doing such act and all they knew was the Jews were the enemies without an factual and accurate reason on why.  As the result, six millions of Jews were killed and they had no one to stand up for them.  Group thinking, then, is not only bad for our personal growth but it can be dangerous at the same time.  Like Mr. Churchill said, it's good to make enemies sometimes, it means we are thinking and processing what is happening around us.  Sometimes, it takes only one person to stand up for what is right and make the difference to the world, and we can always be that one person.

The Working Machine Inside Us

For the past two years, I have been training by brain to think certain ways and it is the hardest thing I have done in my life.  I have put my brain on a passive mode when it comes to do certain tasks and now I have to switch on the active button and my brain gives me hell every time I try to make it think differently.  I am getting better every day but it is constantly a battle each day still as the bad habit has continued for too long. Every time I make my brain think the new way, it hurts; there is always this burning sensation in my temple and it feels like someone just smack me on the head physically at times. The mental torture is almost the same as the physical torture that one has to endure.

Some people say we are born smart but I don't buy that.  We were all born the same and we started in life on the same pace.  Our genes may be different but our brain and other body parts are all the same when we came into this earth.  How we think and act are dependent on our environment. If a child was raised in a family where academic is treasured, then more likely the child will do well in school. And if a child was born in a family where school was not put as a priority, then the child will more likely not to take school seriously. We see these prodigy on television playing the piano well at the age of four, and we think he was blessed with good DNA. No, he was blessed with parents who make him practice the piano every single day at the age of two or even younger.  There is no magic potion to it. Those children had to train themselves (or had someone trained them) and they have to put in some sweat in order to get to that point.

If we want to be smart, we have to adopt a new mindset. We have to know that we can get there and that there are techniques that can prune and shape our brain.  Our brain is like a muscle. In order for it to work efficiently we have to train it and be active in doing so.  We have to be motivated enough to go through the tension that the training might inflicted on our brain. At this very moment, it contains billions of neurons and they make connection every single day in order for us to form long lasting memories and to help us think quicker at every step of the way in our life.  When we know that we can get smarter and that we can train our brain to think quicker, we can handle the process of change, even if it gives us hell.

The Pages

A month ago, I was at a Parisian man's house for my first Courchsurfing experience. After I had everything settled down and my belongings all put in order in my room, I decided to take a tour of the apartment. He had two balcony that looked over the city of Paris and his apartment looked just like any apartment in America. It was clean and well-kept and the best part of the apartment was the books. He had bookcases after bookcases of books that many Americans do not own. The only people I know who own that many books are the library, bookstores, or someone who works in the academia. We are living in the digital age where many people read books on flat screens rather than having an actually book in hand and it always comes as a surprise when someone has that many books.  After the man left for work one morning, my curious self decided to look through his stacks of books and I rediscover my love of reading again.

Unlike many trends, books will never go out of style. People will continue to read them years after years, whether they are in a digital form or an actual book.  Books create and record history and even is a part of history.  Currently I am re-reading the book The Diary of Anne Frank and though I have read it in the past as a kid, it still holds its uniqueness and there is always something new to be discovered at every turn of a page.  Anne's voice speaks and can be felt at every page and her thoughts and emotions live as the diary continues to be read by people. Books are like that, we cannot just read once and know everything about them. Every time we reopen a page we discover something new and something different; it is a living thing that breathe and it is wholly self-sufficient in its own way and the best part is it always bring comfort to readers.  It takes us to another place in time and takes us out of our comfort zone to the unknown.  So books are not just pages we read, they are friends who will always have new ideas and they converge them to our own thoughts, turning us into a new and a better person. 

The Art of Thinking

It is 11AM and I am at work going through the list of caseloads that my supervisor gave me and luckily, I have one hour to spare before lunch begins since I completed going through the work list.  The thought of furthering my career lurked out and then I found myself debating the pros and cons of pursuing a professional degree once again.  This thought has been on my mind since my undergraduate years in college but I have never taken it seriously due to the fact I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life.  I thought about maybe pursuing a Physician Assistant or PharmD degree but the problem that arises is I do not want to own thousands of dollars for the loans without making any money while I am in the training process. If I were a 21-year-old, I would have given them a second thought, but as I am older now and I have more experiences under my belt to know those paths won’t give me the time to take care of other priorities.  So here I found myself  “thinking.”  

What is thinking? Thinking is a mental activity that comes before a physical action.  It requires focus and experiences; and the focus part is simple but the experiences are hard to attain as the only way to get them is to get out in the real world. And let’s say many college students and even some adults lack them in order to make good and informed decisions.  Here I was thinking of the pros and cons of pursuing a professional degree before I take any action. 

In order to think clearly and logically, there are many ways for us to cultivate the skill.  For one thing, traveling can help us learn how to think. While we are in an area we don’t know, we have no choice but to think what is the best way to do certain tasks.  For instance, we have to find the fastest and the most cost effective ways to get from one location to another and we have to think on our feet as well. Yes, there are help from the natives and other tourists but generally speaking, we have to do the planning and the thinking on our own. Secondly, talking to other fellow human beings helps form the thinking mind.  We cannot talk to just anyone, it is always better to talk to someone who has more experiences and is smarter than us. When we interact with other people, we are sharing ideas and open our brains to different perspectives that might not have crossed our minds. MeetUp meetings and church events, for instance, can provide us with copious number of people to teach us how to think. Lastly, the best method to learn how to think is through experiences. Good decision comes from experiences and experiences come from bad decisions. It holds true in our professional and personal life, whether we are dating or are looking for the career that suits our personalities.  And the only way to gain experiences is to go out and be a part of the world.  

To sum up, thinking comes from experiences and it is a learned skill. It is the fundamental skill that we all must master in order to survive in the real world and to do well in many parts of our lives. No school or books can teach us how to think for ourselves. In fact, school might be a hindrance to our thinking skill as we have to follow instructions and rules and no one can learn how to think for themselves when they are always being told of what to do by a teacher. We have to go out there and get our hands dirty and learn what it takes to think on our own. Sure we will make mistakes here and there but what matters is we learn from them.  When we finally grasp what it takes to think on our own, we are free and even more joyful and best of all more self-sufficient in the real world.

 

After a While, You Learn

Some thoughts of the day:

After a while 

After a while you learn the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning,
and company doesn’t always mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses are not contracts,
and present's aren’t promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead...

With the grace of a woman,
not the grief of a child.

And you learn
To build all your roads on today,

Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much…

So, you plant your own garden,
and decorate your own soul...
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure…
you really are strong,
you really do have worth.

And you learn, and you learn…
with every goodbye,

You Learn…

The Different Doors

I was at my sister's apartment two days ago to get all my belongings and as usual my attention always draw me to the stack of books and magazines she has under her coffee table; my sister does not read tabloids or fashion magazines only, she subscribed to academic magazines such as The New Yorker, The National, home magazines, and other science magazines and now and then I would sneak through her goods and read them.

My sister is passionate about business and many of her books and magazines are business-oriented. For instance, she has the book GirlBoss written by the CEO of the company Nasty Gal and the book The Glitter Plan written by the two founders of the company Juicy Couture and I followed her lead to have a taste of those two books and many other great books.  One of the common themes in the CEO's experiences in business is they have had experienced what it is like to fail. Of course they get discouraged but the action that lead them to success was they kept looking for other opportunities.  Bill Gates, Mark Cuban, Thomas Edison, and Walt Disney had failed in business or were criticized by someone before they went on being successful and make millions of dollars.  One common action is they kept going and looked pass their failures.  Mark Cuban once said, "I've learned that it doesn't matter how many times you failed.  You only have to be right once. I tried to sell powdered milk. I was an idiot lots of times, and I learned from them all." It's true, we only need to get it right once, that's it. Because that one time will lead to other success in life. If we have not found that one right path, we have to keep looking for opportunities. Opportunities are like doors, if one door closes, open another door.  And remember each door is different and you never know what you will find in each one.

This is a picture of doors in Venice, Italy.