The Strongest Person I Know

Growing up, the woman who gave me life and cooked for me every single day was not someone who I would  imagine looking up to.  I am speaking of my mother.  She was this complaining Asian woman who--I thought--knew nothing about life in America and who has got to learn English (my mom speaks little to no English).  Boy, my judgement was incorrect. As I get older, I learned my mom has gone through many obstacles that I would not imagine myself in or would I ever recover; but she did pass through those obstacles and she became a strong and wise woman because of them; she recovered and jumped back into building her life.  She is a strong woman and her words and actions verify the fact; she is not in anyway a show-off or an arrogant woman.  She knows her strength and weaknesses and she uses them accordingly to each circumstance that life brings out.  For instance, she raised four little girls and we are all fine to this day; each of us has a job and is pursuing some sort career.  My mom pushes each one of my siblings so we can succeed in life and be able to function on our own.  With ample of experiences of the real world, she is an inspiration that many young women would look up to for advice and support.  My mom is the strongest person I know and she will always be the person I look up to as a role model.

Who is the strongest person you know?

Pain

Pain. We don't like it. We hate it. We avoid it. We run way from it.  It's a feeling that affects our mental and physical self and people see it in us when we are going through it.  It's not a pleasant or a desirable feeling. No one wants it but we all go through it at some point of our life. There are benefits to the pain and when we push ourselves to pass it, we are changed forever, and the best part of the process is that when we look back, we see the silver lining of our painful experiences.  It's not easy but everything is possible for those who believe and those who are willing to do the impossible.  First of all, pain helps us grow as a person; it opens our eyes to see life from different angles and we are forever changed from our pain.  Generally speaking, our pain helps us see what needs to be changed.  Sometimes, pain results from certain flaws that we have and we have to be honest with ourselves to why it happens and how we can be avoid it in the future. Pain is an awful experience but we need it now and then. It is a medicine that a sick patient needs to be in a better health. It can do a lot of good in us and help us to get on the better path in life if we give it a chance to do it.

A Letter to the Past Me

My old self was definitely one naive person; I did not know my place in society, how it works, and what I want out of the world. And because of my inexperiences, I ran into situations where I least wanted.  If it was not my past, I would not be a stronger and smarter person today; everyday, I learn quicker and everything I see in life begins to make to more sense and the picture is coming together, pieces by pieces.  Now, painful experiences not only helped me to become a stronger person, they help me to know what needs to be changed in my life.  It was not easy to go through some of the experiences but they were all worth it. If I have the opportunity to talk to my old self, I would tell them the following advise:

1.  Enjoy your teen years. Life is short. The four years will be short so enjoy it as much as possible.
2. Learn how to build relationships--personally and professionally-- and be intentional about it.
3. It is okay to make mistakes.  Mistakes help you to be a better person when you learn from them.
4.  Instead of worrying, take action and the outcomes will be much better.
5.  It is okay to date as many people as possible; it helps you find who you want to be with for the rest of your life.
6. Think for yourself. The skill will help you in your future jobs and in school.
7.  Money is important in life but do not make it your idol.
8.  Problem solving skills are important.
9.  Be strong.  Many problems can be solved just by adjusting your mindsets. Be strong and hold on to what you believe in.

How to be stronger

For most of us, we shy away from the activities they are afraid all the time.  We are afraid of rejection, failures, criticisms, the unknown, the problems that would come with doing something we are unfamiliar with. Despite how many negative experiences that may come with doing something we don't know, there is one characteristic that we gain from doing something we are not familiar with: we become a stronger person.  We gain the courage that would take us to other unknown places in the future--whether it's in our professional or personal part of our lives-- when we expose ourselves to what we do not know and afraid of.  For instance, traveling abroad, eating unfamiliar food, talking strangers, standing up for yourself, and thinking for yourself are a few decisions that would shake us and where we can become deathly afraid.  The reason being is that we do not know what to anticipate and what will happen and fear is the main cause of all the hesitation and the unwillingness to attempt any of those actions.  However, when we remind ourselves that we will stronger as person, the decision to take action will be much more easier and we will more likely attempt what we want to and what we have in mind.  So go ahead and do what you are afraid of because in the end, it will pay off and you will be a better person.

Go ahead, read the tabloids

Many people believe that reading the tabloids is a waste of time; the celebrities just want attention and their lives do not reflect a typical family and etc.  However, I do not believe so.  I have followed the tabloids since the age of 11 and I still enjoyed reading it now and then out of sheer boredom and fun, and especially on my days off of work.  I used to be embarrassed by the act; for one thing, I would read the magazines on the news stand rack at the grocery stores where no one would catch me.  And if I had to read it in the library, I would hide the magazines under my stack of college textbooks and prayed that no one would see the nonsense I was reading.  My actions were definitely pure childish and they are evident of how uncomfortable I was of myself .  Today, I read the magazines in public places and I just don't care about what other people's thoughts are.  Here are a few reasons why: for one thing, celebrities are just like any of us; they go through tough and happy time and we all can learn from their decisions and this eventually can help us be a better person.  Secondly, I learn to think for myself. I am fine with reading the tabloids since it won't hurt anyone or me at any level.  I am fine with having people stare at me for being a grown adult and enjoying the thin pages of booklets that talk about the lives of Taylor Swift, Beyonce, Orlando Bloom, etc.  It's a part of growing up and to know that it's acceptable to do what I want is freedom even if the mass does not approve. So readers, be whatever you choose to be and do whatever you want because the person who has to live with the consequences is you and you alone, and why not do what you love to do? In the end, no one give a care about you.  

He gives and he takes away

For the past seven months of my life, I have been living with a dog named Lucky.  My family never intended to keep one or even live with one but Lucky happened to crawl into our backyard one day and my mother decided to keep him as a pet.  The closest to a pet we ever got was two turtles my sister bought at an Asian New Year festival more than a decade ago; we fed it and kept it safe but one day, the two turtle disappeared and our hypothesis was they crawled out of the small plastic clear container we put them in and they walked away.  But hey, that's not a verified generalization; for all I know, anything could have happened to them.  Someone could have grabbed those two reptiles and threw them in a nearby pond out of sheer anger or resentment or they could have been eaten my the neighbor's dog who used to visit my front yard now and then out of pure enjoyment and curiosity. My family will move soon to a new house and pets are not allowed to be on the vicinity of the neighborhood; so sadly, my mother has to give the dog away and we found it a home where he will have other pet companies as well.  My mom said Lucky showed signs of sadness lately but she might be speaking for herself since she felt in love with him for past few months; she used to be afraid while touching him but now, she held him and even kissed his forehead like she did with my two nephews when they were only infants.

As for me, I came to love that little brat as well; I love seeing him sleeping and searching for food on the floor of the kitchen.  I love giving him daily walks and holding him on the crux of my arms.  After I found out we had to let him go, I almost felt into tears; my attachment toward him was definitely more than I expected and my love for him is as great as the love for any human beings I have ever care for.  One lesson I got out of this experience is that things come and go in our lives and sometimes we just have to accept it.  My struggle to acknowledge and accept this fact has been on a rocky road; when I have an attachment to something, I cannot let it go; I hold onto it like a baby holding onto the milk bottle as if that is the only life line that is left.  Christianity teaches, "He [God] gives and he takes away"; life is like that: it takes away something when the time is up, no matter what is the time frame, and we have to move on with the future. Aging has taught me how to accept things for what it is at a quicker pace than when I was a kid, maybe it's part of growing up, maybe it's just how life supposed to be.

Some Early Morning Thoughts

It's May 1st;  I cannot believe where all the time goes. I cannot believe it's the year 2015.  I graduated high school ten years ago and it just seemed like yesterday that I stepped my first foot in high school.  It seemed like yesterday that I started to drive.  It seemed like yesterday that I started college.  It seemed like yesterday my family first came to the United States.  Every event seems so close but in actuality, they existed beyond my reach and passed away a decade or more ago.  I want to take time back and undo many unproductive activities but I can't.  Time doesn't and will never wait for anyone; it doesn't care about my need or want; this fact is a part of life and I have to flow with it. I have to adapt to it. I have to be a part of it and go with it if survival is my main purpose in life.  We know that time doesn't wait for us so the best thing we all can do is make the best of our time.  Instead of doing something unproductive such as worrying and wasting time away, we can choose to do something productive where it will help us to be a better person and grow on our walk of life.  It's not easy at time, but when we focus hard enough,we find ourselves more productive and more free.  So let time be its own entity; we have no control over it and we are not meant to control it.  Sometimes surrendering is the best route to joy and when we discover this, we eventually become a new and a better person.