A guy friend once told me that it is easy for people to misunderstand me especially when they have no clue who I am. Over the years, I learn to accept the fact. I learn to accept when people give me attitude or end his/her friendship with me because they do not see any point of being around me or that they see me as this unfriendly person. I don't know why people see me as disrespectful or rude but that is a general consensus from the people I meet and especially when I have no intention to. I used to cry over the fact because as humans we all want to belong and to fit in and to connect with other people and when someone rejects us, it is like all hell breaks loose and we find ourselves clueless on how to handle the situation. I used to be upset with the fact that people view me that way and lately I have tried to work on being softer and more people-conscious.
I don't want to blame anyone or myself for how I am today as blaming will not do me any good. The only solution is to constantly throw myself out there in social settings and to continually be more conscious of people and their needs.
One good thing about growing older is that we learn to accept ourselves. We learn to accept our flaws, our setbacks, our failures, and we are willing to work on being a better person. It might take me months and even years to work on my interpersonal skills but I am willing to take that chance, even if I might fail at some point. In the song "Happiness" by the Fray, it says, "Happiness is like the old man told me. Look for it, and you'll never find it all. But let it go, live your life and leave it then one day, you'll wake up and she'll be home." If I am good with people, then I will be happy. The problem is what if I never reach to that happy point? What if I stay the same and never get along with anyone? Like the song say, when we look for the happiness we will never find it and the only way for us to find is to live and one day we will find her. This means if I want to reach the goal of get along with people, I should not think and hope too much of it but rather I should live and work on myself and that happiness will come one day. People say patience pays off in the end and I am going to be patient with myself for now, because eventually happiness will come.
Saturday, October 10, 2015
The Uncertainty
One of the hardest truth I always fail to acknowledge is there is uncertainty in everything in life. There is no guarantee in success in a chosen career, a relationship, a friendship, etc. We have to know there is a chance everything will work out the way we want and there is a chance it will not. It is a 50/50 card deal that we are playing with. We have to be open to opportunities and what is out there if our endeavors do not work out as planned and we have to constantly remind ourselves if one thing does not work out, then try another one. Take chances and make mistakes but always remember the world is big and has opportunities that we could never imagine, but this only happens if we move on after a setback and open ourselves up to them.
Happiness
I have been listening to the song "Happiness" by the Fray lately and every word in the lyrics whisper so much truth.
You can listen to the song on this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgKslXz30U0
You can listen to the song on this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgKslXz30U0
"Happiness" by the Fray
Happiness was just outside my window
I thought it'd crash blowing 80 miles an hour
But happiness—a little more like knocking
On your door, and you just let it in
Happiness feels a lot like sorrow
Let it be, you can’t make it come or go
But you are gone—not for good but for now
And gone for now feels a lot like gone for good
Happiness is a firecracker sitting on my headboard
Happiness was never meant to hold
Be careful child, light the fuse and get away
‘Cause happiness throws a shower of sparks
Happiness damn near destroys you
Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor
So you tell yourself, "That’s enough for now."
Happiness has a violent roar
Happiness is like the old man told me
Look for it, and you’ll never find it all
But let it go, live your life and leave it
Then one day, you'll wake up and she’ll be home
Home, she'll be
She'll be home
She will be home
I thought it'd crash blowing 80 miles an hour
But happiness—a little more like knocking
On your door, and you just let it in
Happiness feels a lot like sorrow
Let it be, you can’t make it come or go
But you are gone—not for good but for now
And gone for now feels a lot like gone for good
Happiness is a firecracker sitting on my headboard
Happiness was never meant to hold
Be careful child, light the fuse and get away
‘Cause happiness throws a shower of sparks
Happiness damn near destroys you
Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor
So you tell yourself, "That’s enough for now."
Happiness has a violent roar
Happiness is like the old man told me
Look for it, and you’ll never find it all
But let it go, live your life and leave it
Then one day, you'll wake up and she’ll be home
Home, she'll be
She'll be home
She will be home
The Greeness of It All
During my Europe trip, the location that I most desired to see were Paris and
Venice but I discovered a new place in the world that is comparable to that two cities: I am speaking of the Swiss Alps. The Swiss Alps is located in Alpine
region of Switzerland and it spreads across France, Italy, Austria, and
Liechtenstein. I was in a treat and I did not even aware of it until I
got there. As we drove to our camp destination, we passed by gorgeous
blue-green lakes that I have never seen in California. The water was so clear that I would never have thought it ever existed; the
tour guide stated the glacier creates the blue-green color and at some point on
our drive, I saw two men sitting in a dinghy in the middle of the vast
blue-green body of water; it looked like something one only sees in pictures
but it was real and it was right in front of me.
My group and I stayed in a small town called Lauterbrunnen in Switzerland which consists of small businesses and a train station nearby. We spent the night in a campsite where a stream of water flows across the site and the current is so fast and strong that one would definitely not survive if he decides to give it a swim. All around me were mountains of green grass and plants and on the hilly area, there were houses and even small cottages that we don't see in America; my tour friends say people do live in those cottages but I had to question the fact, it looked like there was no possible electricity line that connected to it and the cottages looked so worn out and fragile that I don't know if anyone would ever want to live there.
On the second day, my tour group and I took the train up to the Jungfraujoch mountain; I have never heard of this mountain before and I had low expectation of it, I mean I have seen so many mountain in California that I had little hope for it, mountains are just mountains right? The train took two hours to get up to the summit and though I hate long commute in any form, I enjoyed the sceneries and the fellowship with my tour friends as we journeyed our way up there. We stopped by a few view points during the train ride, and that was when it hit me that this Jungfraujoch was definitely no ordinary mountain. At each view point and as we got higher, I could see clouds and white mountains at all side. When we got to the top, that's when I realized that this Jungfraujoch is beyond my imagination. We were 11,000 ft above sea level and everywhere I looked mountains of white snow were transparent and white clouds covered on all side that we looked on.
Doing what most tourists are known to do, we took pictures and then headed to the play area where visitors could snowboard and get involved in other snow activities. I decided to sit back and soaked in the beautiful white mountains surrounding me and visited the Ice Museum. There, I walked in an alley that covers with ice, yes real ice. It was cold up in the mountain but the temperature dropped at about 10 degree Farenheit as I entered the museum and as I walked farther in, my breathe became visible in a form of midst. There were sculptures that were made and shaped out of ice; in one sculpture, there was a group of bears and pinguins walking. I have never seen anything in my life so rather than taking pictures like I generally do, I decided to absorb my surrounding in. I could not believe this was human's creation and imagination; it seems like a place where people talk about in novels but it does exist and it was right in front of me.
When it was time to leave to our next destination, a part of me wanted to stay back. The peacefulness was surreal and unbelievable. We spent one and a half day there and it was enough to give me a sense of how the town was like and to soak in the greeness of the mountains. I wanted to remain there forever and not have to come back home. I had to remind myself it is not possible and that I am on vacation and that this trip acts as a pause to my life and it will not make my life any different afterward. As we drove out of the Swiss Alps and then enter France, I realize the memory of the green mountains acts as a new perspective; it shows me what is out there in the world and how insignificant I am compared to what is out there. Sometimes life can surprise us and leaves us in awe at the same time. We are amazed at the sights and the surprising experiences that the world gives us. Traveling, then, is an experience where one might be lost and then get found at the same time, it puts things in perspective and teaches us to see the world in a different lens than before.
My group and I stayed in a small town called Lauterbrunnen in Switzerland which consists of small businesses and a train station nearby. We spent the night in a campsite where a stream of water flows across the site and the current is so fast and strong that one would definitely not survive if he decides to give it a swim. All around me were mountains of green grass and plants and on the hilly area, there were houses and even small cottages that we don't see in America; my tour friends say people do live in those cottages but I had to question the fact, it looked like there was no possible electricity line that connected to it and the cottages looked so worn out and fragile that I don't know if anyone would ever want to live there.
On the second day, my tour group and I took the train up to the Jungfraujoch mountain; I have never heard of this mountain before and I had low expectation of it, I mean I have seen so many mountain in California that I had little hope for it, mountains are just mountains right? The train took two hours to get up to the summit and though I hate long commute in any form, I enjoyed the sceneries and the fellowship with my tour friends as we journeyed our way up there. We stopped by a few view points during the train ride, and that was when it hit me that this Jungfraujoch was definitely no ordinary mountain. At each view point and as we got higher, I could see clouds and white mountains at all side. When we got to the top, that's when I realized that this Jungfraujoch is beyond my imagination. We were 11,000 ft above sea level and everywhere I looked mountains of white snow were transparent and white clouds covered on all side that we looked on.
Doing what most tourists are known to do, we took pictures and then headed to the play area where visitors could snowboard and get involved in other snow activities. I decided to sit back and soaked in the beautiful white mountains surrounding me and visited the Ice Museum. There, I walked in an alley that covers with ice, yes real ice. It was cold up in the mountain but the temperature dropped at about 10 degree Farenheit as I entered the museum and as I walked farther in, my breathe became visible in a form of midst. There were sculptures that were made and shaped out of ice; in one sculpture, there was a group of bears and pinguins walking. I have never seen anything in my life so rather than taking pictures like I generally do, I decided to absorb my surrounding in. I could not believe this was human's creation and imagination; it seems like a place where people talk about in novels but it does exist and it was right in front of me.
When it was time to leave to our next destination, a part of me wanted to stay back. The peacefulness was surreal and unbelievable. We spent one and a half day there and it was enough to give me a sense of how the town was like and to soak in the greeness of the mountains. I wanted to remain there forever and not have to come back home. I had to remind myself it is not possible and that I am on vacation and that this trip acts as a pause to my life and it will not make my life any different afterward. As we drove out of the Swiss Alps and then enter France, I realize the memory of the green mountains acts as a new perspective; it shows me what is out there in the world and how insignificant I am compared to what is out there. Sometimes life can surprise us and leaves us in awe at the same time. We are amazed at the sights and the surprising experiences that the world gives us. Traveling, then, is an experience where one might be lost and then get found at the same time, it puts things in perspective and teaches us to see the world in a different lens than before.
When We Are Ready
One evening, my then seven-year-old nephew was putting together some Lego pieces and despite how tall I am, he seemed to have no clue that I was standing at the door. He wrinkled his forehead and squinted to focus better on the lego pieces which were in variety of colors. I interrupted the occasion and asked what he was doing, and he answered he was making a Startrek car; as a kid, I was never into Startrek like many of my male cohorts, rather I spent most of my time either out door picking at flowers or watching a new episode of Pokémon. My nephew was having a difficult time putting a green square lego piece together with the wheel piece that was provided in the Lego box. I walked near where he was standing and gave my hands to show I could help him but he shrugged and turned his back to me, refusing the help that he definitely needed. Ten minutes later he walked out the play room with a wide grin on his small frame face and started to laugh hysterically. When I looked at what he had in his hands, there existed a full model Startrek car. My nephew did it: he was able to connect the two Lego pieces that he was having such a difficult time with ten minutes earlier without the help of anyone.
There will come a time in our lives where certain situations do not make any sense and the more we dive into it and try to see the answer, the more confused we are. One day however, everything seems to make sense and we are able to uncover the mystery that has been torturing us for the past days or even months. Like my little nephew, we are all of the sudden fill with joy and excitement knowing that we uncover something and the best feeling comes when we did not need the help from anyone. The feeling is unlike anything that we know and it is one of the best thought ever, to know we made it, and that we accomplish something. Sometimes, a problem might take years for us to uncover and for us to see the answer to it but all we need to do is focus on getting to where our goal is, because it will come. When we get it, when we understand it, the world seems to be full of opportunities that we could ever imagine. It will take time but patience always pay off and leads us to a better place than where we once were.
There will come a time in our lives where certain situations do not make any sense and the more we dive into it and try to see the answer, the more confused we are. One day however, everything seems to make sense and we are able to uncover the mystery that has been torturing us for the past days or even months. Like my little nephew, we are all of the sudden fill with joy and excitement knowing that we uncover something and the best feeling comes when we did not need the help from anyone. The feeling is unlike anything that we know and it is one of the best thought ever, to know we made it, and that we accomplish something. Sometimes, a problem might take years for us to uncover and for us to see the answer to it but all we need to do is focus on getting to where our goal is, because it will come. When we get it, when we understand it, the world seems to be full of opportunities that we could ever imagine. It will take time but patience always pay off and leads us to a better place than where we once were.
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
The Little Self
I recently moved to a new home and after cleaning my old garage, I rediscovered my old journals in a big square plastic box. The oldest one dated back in 2003. I was fifteen then and despite how much I tried to act like a grown-up, I was never cut for it and people could smell my immaturity miles away. I did not know a clue who I was, I did not know what I should focus on in life, I did not know how to make friends and how to keep a friendship. Let's say, that 15-year-old me was definitely nothing like me today. As I flipped through the pages, there mentioned about the upcoming exams, projects, speeches, and even a paragraph written extensively about my decision on what I should do during one weekend.
My 15-year-old self was too wrapped up on the petty and unimportant details in life that she forgot what was truly out there in the world. Life is not about a chemistry test, it's not about that first boy we kissed or had the biggest crush on in ninth grade, it's not about the horrible trip on a Mexico cruise, it's much more than that. Instead of worrying, I would tell my 15-year-old self to relax and take things one day at a time. It's okay to get a 70% on a test now and then, it's okay to get caught when you cheated on a test in your Spanish class and get detention after school, and it's more than okay to date that bad boy even if he breaks your heart. And the best part is it would not be the end of the world if any of this happened.
When we look back, our problems become small and insignificant and in reality they really are. If a boy breaks up with you, it's more than okay to cry and then move on. If that job and career did not work out, move on, and remember there will be better one for us. Time does do a lot of good in us; it helps us see the reality of situations and shine the light on what truly matters. No matter what hardships we have to go through in our 20s, 30s, 40s, and beyond, we have to remember that the problems will be nothing but a speckle part of our lives and they will never determine who we are. They are tests that help us to see who we are and help us grow as a person. Maturity, then, is not an accumulation of years we live on earth, it is based solely on our understanding of what happens to us and our willing to march on in our walk in life. So we have to trust that everything happens for a good reason and enjoy every moment of the way, because that very moment might be the very thing that we need to shape us who we are today.
My 15-year-old self was too wrapped up on the petty and unimportant details in life that she forgot what was truly out there in the world. Life is not about a chemistry test, it's not about that first boy we kissed or had the biggest crush on in ninth grade, it's not about the horrible trip on a Mexico cruise, it's much more than that. Instead of worrying, I would tell my 15-year-old self to relax and take things one day at a time. It's okay to get a 70% on a test now and then, it's okay to get caught when you cheated on a test in your Spanish class and get detention after school, and it's more than okay to date that bad boy even if he breaks your heart. And the best part is it would not be the end of the world if any of this happened.
When we look back, our problems become small and insignificant and in reality they really are. If a boy breaks up with you, it's more than okay to cry and then move on. If that job and career did not work out, move on, and remember there will be better one for us. Time does do a lot of good in us; it helps us see the reality of situations and shine the light on what truly matters. No matter what hardships we have to go through in our 20s, 30s, 40s, and beyond, we have to remember that the problems will be nothing but a speckle part of our lives and they will never determine who we are. They are tests that help us to see who we are and help us grow as a person. Maturity, then, is not an accumulation of years we live on earth, it is based solely on our understanding of what happens to us and our willing to march on in our walk in life. So we have to trust that everything happens for a good reason and enjoy every moment of the way, because that very moment might be the very thing that we need to shape us who we are today.
The Hardest Lesson
Have you had to deal with a person who would never change his or her mind about you no matter how true of what you have to say? And no matter how much changes you put in yourself and there is no positive response from the person? Was it like speaking to a wall?
The hardest lesson I discover in life so far is sometimes we can't change the way people think of us, there will always be people in our lives who will hold onto our past and use that as the lens to see us for who we are today. Whether that past still holds true or not, they still continue to come back to them and refuse to see the new and better person we are today. We have to remember people's opinions are theirs and we cannot let their thoughts be your reality. When we refuse to let other people define us, we spend more time focusing on what is important in our lives, and thus we continue to thrive and grow, no matter how slow the process is. It’s not a matter of effort, it’s a matter of mindset where we choose to not relive the past and live the present where we have more control over our lives and where our lives are solely dependent on us to make our own reality. There are two actions we can take in this situation, we can choose to either to continue the relationship with the person and live an unsatisfied life or we can choose to let that person go. The latter would be the right decision, and besides, they already made up our mind when they choose to ignore us.
Quote of the Day:
"If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward." ― Martin Luther King Jr.
The hardest lesson I discover in life so far is sometimes we can't change the way people think of us, there will always be people in our lives who will hold onto our past and use that as the lens to see us for who we are today. Whether that past still holds true or not, they still continue to come back to them and refuse to see the new and better person we are today. We have to remember people's opinions are theirs and we cannot let their thoughts be your reality. When we refuse to let other people define us, we spend more time focusing on what is important in our lives, and thus we continue to thrive and grow, no matter how slow the process is. It’s not a matter of effort, it’s a matter of mindset where we choose to not relive the past and live the present where we have more control over our lives and where our lives are solely dependent on us to make our own reality. There are two actions we can take in this situation, we can choose to either to continue the relationship with the person and live an unsatisfied life or we can choose to let that person go. The latter would be the right decision, and besides, they already made up our mind when they choose to ignore us.
Quote of the Day:
"If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward." ― Martin Luther King Jr.
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