Book Smart vs. Street Smart

As a college graduate, I pride myself in earning the degree that I worked so hard for four years. When I entered the real world six years ago, I realize that my degree was basically close to useless.  Don't get me wrong, education can take us far in life since it opens doors to opportunities that we might not be able to enter if we do not have a degree but as I experience more of life, I discover that there are special skills that are needed in order to survive in the real world.  Being street smart is necessary for the survival of the real world; being street smart encompasses a set of skills that are needed for us to do well in the outside world.  Being street smart means: to know what is going on around you, to make good judgement base on what you observe, to be able to communicate and respond in a way where deems necessary, to be able to detect danger, to be able to know what to say at the right time and place.  Book smart means you are able to read and understand books in school and do well on tests.  In essence, book smart and street smart are skills one must learn and continually to learn in his lifetime.

Is book smart or street smart better? It depends on who you ask and the background of that person.  I believe you need both to survive and do well in the real world.  Without one or the other, you may not be able succeed in whatever goal you want to.  I recently read a blog where the blogger believes street smart will lead to book smart since you learn how to adapt and know what works and what does not work in an academic setting; I agree with every world the blogger states but I think you need both in order to do well in life.  Both skills are essential to adapting and they guard one another for potential problems that may arise.  

How to be street smart:

1. Go out more

2. Know your surrounding

3. Know where your belongings are.
4. Know how to read people-- no matter what is the distance and what is the relationships you have with the other person.

The good news is being street smart and book smart are skills we all can train ourselves to be better.  They help us in one way or another in every situation we put ourselves in. It's only the matter if we are willing to open our arms to the idea and train ourselves.  

Time as the Healer

The past four years have been the hardest part of my life.  I was fighting uphill battles every day where I have no way of winning and the light at the end of the tunnel seems so far way and unreachable; I was crushed every day by the external factors that I had no control over and no matter what I do, things just get worst and worst over time.  I hated every minute of it and to be honest I still hate 60% of my life right now; four years ago, my life agenda was all planned out by years. I was supposed to finish graduate school by 29 and then get married at 30 and have a kid or two but the plan failed to work out and I find myself to have to play by ear and hope everything would turn out the way it supposed to be.  My personal and professional life took a hard hit especially; I had to let go  of friendships that were expired a long time ago and which were unhealthy to keep around and I had to choose a different career path.  To be honest, I was young and naive so I didn't know what I was looking for in relationships and the thought of picking the right career for me never cross my mind; I chose a career where money was in abundant and where I know for sure I would make enough to live in a big house and car.

Four years later, I finally come into term with my life right now.  I feel free to do what I want and say what I want now without feeling guilty about it.  Certainly, I still have some shitty days and there are time where I want to fly to another planet and not have to come back. but I am a better person because of all the difficulties I had to go through.  Time is a odd being; it has the power to turn a person's life upside down and it can turn a life for the better in just a second.  Time is definitely a healer and it's definitely healing me slowly as I walk on this path we all call "life."  I finally accept life for what it is and the grudge I used to hold back is finally releasing itself.  Acceptance frees the soul and it heals whatever wounds that were inflicted upon it, whether it was intentionally or unintentionally or not.  Time and acceptance go hand-in-hand and when they converge, we see life for what it is and focus on the important things in life.  Time is not just a number, it's a living being that can transform us into a different being at any time or place.  

Exposure to New Things

Educators always encourage students to be well-rounded and even study abroad and try new activities in order to help our brain grow and for us to develop our personality. I took the advise lightly back then but I see the benefits and usage of it today.  When we expose ourselves to new activities, we learn quicker because we connect ideas and what we are learning at a faster pace.  I had one of the "connection" experience yesterday at a Sri Lanka restaurant in LA and it was the least place I expected it.  As I sip on the spicy beef curry and eating the dry rice with a wrap called Thosa, I thought about the beef curry my mother used to make all the time growing up. I thought about the beef curry that the Indian restaurant I enjoy was like  and how the spicy level varies base on the cook and the preference of the person who eats.  The connection was there and I felt like I was understanding what I was eating for the first time; the best part was, I was able to hear my voice as I connect the ideas and the revelation was definitely a big stepping stone to help me be more aware of what is going on around me.  The key to being a good learner is to be able to connect separate ideas and combine them to know the learner see the whole picture and experiences can help that process at a quicker pace.

The Hardest Teacher

Out of all my 8+ years of education, I have had some of the hardest and meanest teachers but there is one teacher that I am still trying to understand every single day: it's the real world.  For the past four years, the real world has given me tests after tests and my score definitely is not great like some of my grades in college; I would say my the tests given to me by life so far has been the average grade of a C and D.  I struggled so much to learn and try to understand what she is teaching me because in the real world, there is no such thing as lecture.  You are given the tests before the lessons, and it expects to you self-learned most of the time and if you fail to get the lessons, life will bring endless miseries your way which we can call it "consequences;" these consequences are not stressed-free; they are very stressful and might cause insomnia over night and numerous bout of rage.  There is no shortcut to learning many of the lessons: you just have to roll your sleeves up, dive in, and try to study it as you go and pray that you will get it.

Despite the negatives that come from learning from the real world, there are many great lessons you can learn from it.  Here are a few lessons you can learn:

1. How to think for yourself.  People can smell if you can think for yourself from afar. Adults do not like people who cannot think for themselves and life do not give pardon to those who always depends on people to think for them.  You have to master this skill in order to succeed in any part of life--whether it's in your personal or professional relationships.

2. How to stand up for yourself.  This is one of the hardest lesson I learned over the past four years and the more I practice, the better I am at it.  Standing up for yourself requires that you know yourself and you are aware of your surrounding.

3.  How to fake confidence. Sometimes, we don't have any confidence; sometimes, we feel so shitty inside that we just want to hide in a cave forever and not have to come out. But hiding will not do any good and in the real world, it's not possible.  So what do you do? You fake it until you become what you want to be.

4.  How to manage time.  New college grads who have close to zero working experience will have the hardest time getting this.  It takes practice and it is definitely trial-and-error as you learn it.

5. How to solve problems.  School teaches us how to do test problems that have one answers which the teacher wants but in the real world, there is no one answer that fixes any problem.  There are multiple answers that can solve a problem and you have to use your best judgement to resolve the problems.

6. How to deal with conflicts.  No one like conflicts, we shun away from them like a deadly cancer but sometimes it's completely impossible to avoid it.  You just have to learn how to deal with it as you go.  Overtime, we learn how to deal with conflicts accordingly.

7. How to deal with people.  There are so many personalities out there and we have to adapt to each one as we continue on whatever journey we are in life.  It's hard because we might not be able to click with or know how to deal with certain person.

In conclusion, the real world can be a pain as a teacher but it can teach us and bring us far in life than we ever anticipate. Give yourself patience if you are struggling to understand what the real world is trying to tell you because you will get it. Our brain is wired to solve and to understand what we need to learn and it will get it eventually.

Self-Control

I almost got into an argument with someone today.  I did not like how he was treating me and his behaviors were obscene and socially unacceptable at every level.  I wanted to scream and yell at him for what he was doing and to even physically hurt him.  I gave him so many chances to be my friend and to get along with him but as time passes by, it proves my tactics are not working and that I will have to accept it for what it really is.  However, today was an exception; I was going through a lot and what he did only press my button further and as I walked toward him, I heard my own voice telling me to stop it.  I did not hear it but it was definitely a naturally instinct since I have been in this situation before.  After the situation, I realize I have master the art of self-control.  It's definitely an accomplishment that I was not expecting for.

Here are a few lessons I learned about self-control:
1.  Self-aware is important.  We need to be aware of what we are doing and what is happening around us in order to be self-controlled.  When we are not conscious of our action, everything around us is, and maybe for sure, out of our hand and we have no control over them.

2.  In the height of anger, it's imperative that we go to a place alone and calm down. When we stop the situation, we can think more clearly and we do not let things get to us. This act removes us from the source and cause and it helps us to interpret and see what is going on and as a result, we make better and wiser decisions.

Self-control is a skill that has to be learned and practiced constantly in order for us to see the result.   We all can master the skill and it is only a matter of us willing to learn it and put it to good use in our lives.   It can improve our professional and personal life and make us smarter as a person.

The Aha Moment

Learning is definitely one of the hardest tasks a person has to master in order to succeed in life; we need to know how to learn correctly in school and even at work; that's why life-long learn succeed in life, they are constantly learning and embracing all the opportunities of learning.  It's a skill we have to master in order to process all the information that is given to us.  When we learn something new, there is a tendency where we will get confused and come even to point of frustration because we do not get it; those reactions are actually normal and we have to embrace it rather than letting them pull us down or worst, letting them stopping us from learning.  We have probably all been there and it's definitely a stage we have to go through in order to understand something.  The best part about learning occurs when we finally understand something; when we finally get it and can apply what we learn in numerous settings and situations.  It's feeling we will never forget and it's probably one of the best feeling we can have in life; it's the "aha" moment we wait for and it's something we will never want to let go.  So go ahead learn something today; learn how to cook that favorite dish of yours, learn how to make friends, learn how to make money, learn how to do well in school; because in the end, the reward will be worth it.

My Sailing Experience

I went to sailing for the first time today in Newport Beach and the experience in itself taught me a lesson or two about life.  We sailed from the Lido Island area to most of Newport Beach area.  As I sat on the sailing trip, I notice how humble and how obedient the ship it toward it's surrounding; it did not argue with the captain or fight back whichever the wind blew; it followed through and was never hesitant on which pathway that the wind guided.  In the same way, I think happiness comes from the fact that we accept life for what it is and not fight it especially if it doesn't go our way.  I think letting life happens rather than trying to manipulate it is a lesson we learn as we age and come to understand over time.  It's not an easy lesson to accept and understand but time plays a huge role in helping us to learn and digest it.  Like the sail boat, we need to let things happen and to come to term with it rather than trying to fix everything by ourselves; sometimes, some stuff in life are not fixable and it is out of our control and we just have to sit back and enjoy the ride and see where it will take us.  When we accept this fact, happiness then is not a condition and it's not related to our circumstance anymore, it's a state of mind.