For the past eight years, the highlights of my life have been relationships. I am in my 20s so there is no surprise in there as most 20something is searching for friendships and romantic relationships to enrich their lives. During college, it was easy to find people to hang out with since I was around thousands of other students every single day at my university. I was a part of a few organizations and joining different activities was a part of the trend so I was never lonely since I was always around people; in addition, I reconnected with some of my childhood friends and we spent time discovering the fun stuff college students do together (eg. you know the clubbing, the drinking, dating, learning how to flirt, going to dance events for the organizations we were active again, doing community service, volunteering, etc.); I was a shy high school kid so a lot of the things I did in college made up for what was missing before college; plus, I was quite active going to church events and those of you who go to church know churches are experts in getting people together. The opportunities to form relationships were endless and I surely took it for granted.
Now as I enter my late 20s, forming relationships is the hardest thing so far. First of all, the lack of opportunities is a big hindrance. I work with much older coworkers so it is definitely difficult to connect with them since the age difference separates me and them more than connecting us. In college, there are clubs to help us find friends and while at work, there is a limit number of people to befriend with. Secondly, it takes a lot of effort to maintain any relationship; for instance, in college and high school, it was easy plan something to do with your friends since they were always there but as an adult, when the people you are attracted to are gone, it is hard to locate them or even find the time to plan something to do together.
Forming relationships is hard in the adults years but it's possible. Here are a few keys tips that can help you build a strong relationship.
1. Be intentional. You have to know what's the reason why you want to be around the person and planned it.
2. Be present at the moment. When you are around another adults, make sure your mind does not wander.
3. Lower your expectation. No one is perfect and the higher your standard the less chance you will make friend.
4. Know yourself and be yourself. People can smell a fake miles away. Be true self, unleash the mask. Period.
5. Have fun! People love anyone who enjoys themselves.
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