Distractions

Distractions are something that make it difficult to think and pay attention.  Distractions are parts of life--no matter what road you are in life; it can be anything, from people, noise, smell, objects, the roads next to your home, etc.  Once we realize something distracts us, our productivity decreases by increments at every minute of it.  It gets in the way of us getting our work done, it disturbs our concentrations and even prevent us from doing what is necessary for us. For instance, distractions at work is a big hindrance for employees to get work done; in fact, if a coworker comes by your cubicle to chat about last weekend and you find yourself in a position where you cannot get the report in to the supervisor on time, that will hurt your work ethics and may end you up with a written report or even termination from the job.  Either we learn how to cope with distractions or they will get us and hurt us.

Here are a few techniques on how to deal with the distractors in life:

Step 1- Identify what't the distractions.  Being aware is crucial to get rid of the distraction.

Step 2- Focus on what is needed to be done.  The key is to shift the mind from the unimportance to the importance.

Step 3- Brainstorm on ways to get rid of the distractions.

-->Here are a few ideas that work: 
a. Ignore the distraction. Don't think about it, don't talk about it.
b. Remove yourself from the situation.
c. Shift your attention to what is important.

Step 4- Execute the plans.

Step 5- Evaluate the actions.

People

The human race is a funny being.  We have needs, desires, and we know what we want and don't want out of life.  It's in our nature to be able to survive and search for the things that full fill our lives.  We buy one thing and then another one, hoping it will meet our needs and fill the empty hole in our heart.  We jump from one relationship to another hoping it will satisfy our thirst for love and acceptance.  When it comes to competition to get what we want, we fight to death even if it means to just have our hands on it.  The animal kingdom is similar to the human race many ways; animals want to be loved and mate with other species and compete with one another for food, etc.  However what distinguishes the human race from one another are the following:

1.  Humans are selfish by nature.
2.  Humans lie and are deceitful.
3.  There are nice human beings out there.
4.  First impression is important.  If we fail to make a good first impression, it will cost a lot of pain in our life.

The Danger of Overthinking

As I get older, I notice how over thinking became a habit over the years.  Over thinking is the voice in our head that over analyzes everything; for instance, we may over analyze the actions a coworker did today at work or that comments your supervisor gave you about the project you are working on.  Does he hate me or the project? Do they want me to wear this red shirt? Why did he do that while filling his coffee cup? Our college years taught us to think critically; we have to look at a subject from different angles and perspectives and try to understand why this or that happens.  This all deem good in school and when we go out in the real world, we realize applying this critical thinking skill can be harmful to our health.  We over think about our life; are we living the life we want? Is our life good enough? Over thinking can sometimes create frictions in our lives; we compare ourselves to people who seem to have better life and become unhappy when we don't have what other people have.  

Here are a few harmful effects of over thinking:

1. It stops us from doing what needs to be done.

2.  It hinders your growth.  The more you do something, the more you will grow as a person.

3.  It wastes our time.

4.  Last but not least, we stop enjoy our life.  

What must we do?  Sometimes we just need to put thoughts on hold and leap, or in another word, just do what needs to be done.

Mindy Kaling on Getting Wiser

"Things used to bother me for longer. Now if I hear some devastating, horrible thing about my appearance or my talent or whatever it'll only bother me for, like, 30 seconds," said actress and writer Mindy Kaling on getting wiser with age. Miss Kaling is a 35-year-old actress born and raised in Cambridge, Massachusetts.  Her father is an architect and her mother was a physician and they were both Indian born; they are highly educated people who pushed their children to do well in school.  In high school, Mindy excelled in high school and got accepted to the Ivy League college Dartmouth College where she received a bachelors in Playwriting. She is the second generation of the Indian ancestry living in the United States; most Indian Americans get in the field of science or engineering and she takes the unlikely path for her ethnicity.  Mindy does not have a typical Hollywood star body--she is what the public calls "fat" or curvy depending on each person's perspective but for sure, many people do not approve of  and do not see her in a positive light due to her physical appearance as a successful movie star and a woman in the land of Hollywood.

Here are a few things I learned from Miss Kaling:

1. She does not follow the crowd. She decides what is the good path for her rather than giving in what the majority says; she did not choose the science and engineering path like most Indian Americans go for. She is an independent thinker.
2. It's important to know yourself and do not let people take that away.
3. Growing older helps us to deal with problems better. As Mindy aged, she learned how to deal with what the public says to her better. She only lets it affects her 30 seconds only rather than for a long time.

Often than not, we care so much about what people think of us.  People say a certain comment about us, eg we don't eat enough health food, our fashion style needs a change, we do this or that too much, etc.and we tell ourselves that we don't care what people say but when a harsh comment comes to us, we sometimes take the blow badly: we brood over and over think about the words whispered to us and break every grammar part down to see its true meanings.  We say we don't care about what other think about us but we unconsciously do if we count how many time we over think and get frustrated over what was being said.

Of all lessons I get from reading about Mindy, I think aging plays a big role in personal developments for her.  I think it is fine to get frustrated now and then since that's part of being human; what matters is that we need to remember that aging will help us deal with problems much easier and when we remember this we have more peace of mind and can deal with problems much easier.

Being the Director

In an article called The Amygdala Report from the New Yorker magazine, film director Michael Mann shares his experiences with movie making and describes the functions of a director.   Mr. Mann states his job is to "manipulates by creating atmosphere, and he creates atmosphere by casting cities as characters." Mann sets the environment of a movie by picking out cities and characters. For instance, he describes a scene from his movie where manipulation was necessary to bring the movie together: "All of South Beach was occupied by old folks from New York in wheelchairs, and the whole city was beige.  So we painted everything, creating heat with vibrating pastels and turning the landscape into a twilight zone.  I'm attracted to twilight zones." As a director, his ideas are put in the movie, whatever he is attracted to and like, he puts every effort to include them in it.

The article made me thinking what if we are able to manipulate our lives like what a film director can, what if we can direct our own lives.

It seems like a tedious and mundane way to live.   There will not be any excitement and fun since we expect and know what will happen.  I do not see any reason on why we should be living since we are robots and dolls going about life with no goals in mind as all our steps are put out already.  We do not need any goal since we know how the outcomes will turn out.  Manipulation is an insecure way of dealing with life, when we attempt to manipulate something, we are uncertain if we can handle what is coming to us and as a result we do whatever it takes to control the outcome. Sure, we get a dose of landing ourselves in a bad situation now and then (think car accidents, bad days at work, conflicts, etc.) but when we are able to get through our circumstances, that's when we feel our self-worth and accomplishments coming together.   Life should be full of surprises and that makes life special and worth living every second of the way.

Obama on Criticisms

We have all been there: we have been criticized by someone.  That can be our teachers, parents, supervisors,  coworkers, friends, and so on.  We probably have had some anxiety and brooding over the comments because of the contents that was thrown at us.  We all have fell in the role of being the victims of being criticized on. The President of the United States Barack Obama has to deal with criticisms every single day, if not from the public, then it can be the people he works with; criticism is something he is is not unfamiliar with.  Being the President is not an easy job; not everyone can take the blows from the millions of people--or the entire World-- everyday. The media definitely shows no mercy toward him; across the webs, there are countless of articles on why Obama is the bad president and on the regrets of voting him for the second term.  Google it for yourself if you wish.

In a New York Times article, Obama opens up about how he deals with criticisms.  The funny part is he laughs after he was questioned about how he handles criticisms. As a human being, I'm sure he had had a rough time dealing with the criticisms from the press somewhere in his two terms. People says laughing helps the body to release the good chemicals in our brain and this in turns makes us feel better and more relaxed.  Maybe we should laugh it off when we get criticisms rather than getting overwhelm about it.  Maybe that technique is something we should all work on in private and put it in action in the public.

Furthermore, Obama goes on saying he tries to make a distinction between someone "who gives you constructive criticism because they're invested in the same things you are," as compared to "somebody just hating, just haters" who are "providing less constructive criticism where I can't really use it because no matter what I do, there may be something else that they're criticizing."  We have had comments come in a form of neutral talk as the speakers say it but looking back we realize what the words meant and the motives behind it, the motives might be of no help to you and in fact the purpose of the person saying is to pull you down only.  I think differentiating between the people who gives you criticisms because they want to help you grow as opposed to people who criticize you because they just don't like you is crucial in order to digest what was being said to you; it helps you to put things in perspective and deal with the criticisms better.  What people say is not always true and legitimate; and they may come from a bias point of view and have bad intentions behind their say (think gossips at work).  We have no control over what people say to us but we have total control over how we respond to it; when we are able to recognize this fact, we will have more time in our hand to focus on the more urgent matters in our lives and this will save us a lot from unwanted frustrations and heartache.

Last but not least, Obama states he focuses on what's important to him and keep fixed on "the north stars that steers you[him]" no matter what others say.  I think this is the hardest part when we encounter criticisms.  We may not be able to focus on what's important in our lives because we are clouded and blinded by the worries of what the critics say, though it may be false.  We have to recognize what's important to us and what would help us be a better person.

So here is the breakdown to how we should respond to criticisms:
1. Laugh it off.
2. Recognize who says the criticisms
3. Distinguish if we can use that criticisms or not.
3. Focus on what is important.

It's always easier said than done right? What if we put it in action, what if we actually do it? I can guarantee our life will be much brighter and we can feel like we can handle anything tossing at us.

Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/22/us/politics/obamas-secret-to-handling-criticism-focus-and-no-tv.html?_r=0

Standing Up for Yourself

Standing up for yourself is not an easy endeavor.  It takes a lot of will and power from us in order to actually initiate it.  We are scared that it may not turn out the way we plan, we are fearful that life may turn north and the opposite of what we want.  Our mind goes into the "what if this happens" and "what if that happens" mode as we plan our strategy on how to defend ourselves.  We don't want to be found in the rut and not have a clue on what to do in the situation as the result of our action.  Maybe all of these "what ifs" are just excuses that can stop us from doing what we  need to do.

Being able to stand up for yourself is not an easy task, it takes a lot of confidence to find out how exactly standing up for yourself works and how to take the first step.  Sometimes we don't need confidence because we don't have any confidence to begin with.  The act of standing up for what you believe in will result in 1) more confidence 2) life long lessons. You may encounter a lesson that you were not expecting at all.  3) a better you.

In order to reap the benefits, ones must have the following prerequisites:

1. Courage and determination.
2. Acknowledge the fact you may lose or win the battle.
3. Have a goal. This will be the driving force and motivation when things get rough.
4. You just have to do it in order to experience it.  You have to leap and not over think about the situation. When we over think, we have a tendency not do anything.

H.G. Wells once said, "If you fell down yesterday, stand up today." It's never too late to stand up for yourself.  

Anger

Anger.  It's a feeling resulting from an inflicted action by external sources and causes.  The sources can be intentional or unintentional toward making the other person feels angry, it's actually easy to get the other person feeling the way you want to if done with the right tactics.  As humans, we are all susceptible to feel angry at anything that happens, we don't like the feeling because it hurts a lot and it makes us want to hide forever somewhere in the planet earth so we don't have to deal with the things that is making us angry.  We don't want it to linger around us, we don't want it to be the ruler of our lives because it hurts to have it around us.  It's the catalyst of breakdowns for certain people and we have to learn how to deal with it someday if we don't want to have it control us.

Life has a funny way to teach us something when we least expect it and it shows me how anger can be beneficial to us.  Anger can help us to : 1) grow as a person 2) learn how to make decisions. We can choose to let anger swallow us or we can choose how to respond to it 3) learn how to control our emotion.  We can explode with it or we can choose to let the anger go and move on with life

Professionalism

The first full-time job will be the hardest job just like anything we do the first time; it will take a lot of effort and energy out of us but the hard work will be worth it.  For the past 2.5 years I have had to work with five different supervisors and over 100 coworkers who all have different personality that I had to adapt to everyday. Everyday. In addition, I had to deal with 10+ supervisors indirectly due to how connected my work is to other coworkers and units and as an employee who works in the same building with other smaller businesses, I had to see some random employee from other businesses every single day even if I will never talk to them.  Don't get me wrong, I am good at what I do at work; I am disciplined and diligent in completing my assignments.  I am able to submit my work on time and do whatever my supervisor ordered me to.

The most frustrating part of the job is dealing with the people.  Before working at this job, I was taking classes at a community college where I come to a class and listen to the professors talking; I didn't have to talk to anyone and all I had to do was to come to class and listen to the instructor talked.  I had part-time jobs through out my college years and after graduation, but the volume of people I had to work with was minimal compared to the 200+ people who are in my building. I didn't have to deal with complaints and the bullying that comes with working in a corporate office and its presence in my current position was intimidating and discouraging at first.  Over time, I learned how to deal with any thing negative occurring toward me.

Here are a few things my current full-time job taught me:
1. How hard it is to work with people.
2. How to deal with different people. Each person is different and the sooner we learned how to deal with people the faster things will get better.
3. How to handle stress under pressure.  Work problems will arise and that will be the test to see if we can handle the stress.
4. How to solve problems.
5. How to pick your battles.  There are battles worth fight for and there are battles that are best to let go.
6. How to communicate effectively.  Human interaction revolves around communication. When we master communication skills, we can basically get anything we want out of life.  Seriously.
7. Best of all, it's okay to admit I don't know something.  No one knows everything, there is no such thing as perfection.

Looking back, I realize that my experience with people in my current job is a transferrable skill that will take me far in life.  Even if I get terminated or laid off, I have picked up techniques on how to navigate the work life.  Now, that is a win.

The Moment

After dinner yesterday, I snapped a picture o the chicken tacos I helped create; with the help of my sister and her boyfriend, we put together a taco dish that kept us satisfied for the night. We mixed the on sale chicken from Ralph with the parka sauce that my sister bought for a good deal a few months back, and as for the salsa, we put the cilantro, onions, and the tomato in a big plastic bowl with some squeezed lemon in it. The IPhone picture is darkened by the overshadow of the amber light in the kitchen, therefore, the clarity and the resolution of the picture cannot be compared to the high quality photos of the professional and expensive camera out there in the market.

For what it’s worth, the picture of the tacos represents my independence and accomplishments for the past months. I finally make my own meals rather than depending on parents to make them for me. The thought of being able to support myself gives me the confidence that I can handle bigger things in life. I feel more powerful and more confidence and less clingy to people than before. When I woke up today for work, I feel like I can handle the stress that comes with my job rather than getting overwhelmed over trivial matters like I have the tendency to. All in all, the little things in life do have deep meanings if we open ourselves up to what they are telling us.

Can We Cure the Socioeconomic Gap?

As I finished rising the dishes after dinner, my sister brought up one of the topics of an article she read yesterday in the magazine The New Yorker she recently subscribed to.  The article focuses on the research finding that states richer parents talk more to their children than the poorer parents. When it comes to writings on child development, I am head over heel with the subject and cannot get enough of them. The excitement started to build up and the eager to put my hand on the article and flip through the pages (despite how lengthy my sister said the article was) were apparent in my rushing to finish cleaning the dishes.

In the article "The Talking Cure," the author Margaret Talbot discusses about the program called Providence Talks which focuses on teaching parents to communicate with their children more often in Providence, Rhode Island.  The program's main motivation is based on the research of two child psychologists Betty Hart and Tod Risley in the nineteen-eighties; the research compared how parents of different social classes talked with their children and it found that richer parents verbalized more words to their children than their counterpart, poorer parents. Hart and Risley found low-income parents are more corrective and critical toward their children while the higher-income parents asked more questions including ones they know the answer to and their purpose was to instill thinking to their children.  The higher-income children reap the benefits of doing well in academics and in their professional life later on while the lower-income children do not.

The question is can we accept Hart and Risley's findings? Does it reflect the general population? Or there are too many flaws in the study to generalize the poor and the better-off children that way?

In my current field of work, I work with families from all socioeconomic backgrounds.  Though my main group of clients is the low-income family, nonetheless, now and then a middle-class and upper-class individuals would come in and request for government assistance--though as a temporary cushion they say. Many of the children in the low-income families did well in school; I had a family coming in making less than $1000 monthly and their child is attending Stanford University majoring in biology; not to mention, a young lady in her mid-20s came to my office and she was attending UC Berkeley. Though these high achieving children may be one of a kind but they are proof that socioeconomic status cannot triumph hard work and efforts.

 "Socioeconomic status is not a destiny" is my stand. I don't accept the fact that poorer children and better-off children are destined to be a certain way base on what the article says. I do not believe the poorer children will know less vocabularies than the better-off children; I do not accept that the poorer children will have a low rate of academic and professional success than the wealthier children. Our socioeconomic status does not determine who we will become and what we will do in life. Though we definitely have to be aware of its impact on we future, we cannot let it be a hindrance to our goals and dreams.

The Unexpected

The gym.  It's a place where many people put on their New Year's resolution to go to more often and where they dread to come at the same time.  It's not the physical location that people don't like, it's what they have to do in there that brings chill to people's spine and cause the thought of disgust to spring to life.  We all know the health benefits and the negative consequences if we decide not to go to the gym; we don't want to be like the diabetic grandmother who sits on her bed waiting for the daily insulin injection and who is filled with regrets because she didn't take care of her body at a young age earlier on.  We don't want to be the guy who has to come to the hospital and have the doctors put electric currents into the heart because it stops pumping as there is a block in his main arteries. No we do not want any of that.

Like many young adults, I vowed to go to the gym this year and my sister and I even bought a monthly pass and made a commitment to go there every week. Time will tell if we are disciplined enough to continue with our quest but so far, I went to the gym two days straight and my experience there had been not of an excitement.  How can an activity be exciting if you have to force yourself to go? I go there because I have to, not because I want to.  After leaving the gym yesterday, I felt different. I felt more energized, refreshed, and filled with the attitude that I can do anything.  It's weird, it's uncanny. I've been to other gyms countless times but had never felt this way before.  It was like a surge of positive energy decided to rain over me and embraced me with all its goodies and love. The future seems brighter and more approachable now rather than being the menace that tries to pick and probe my peace of mind.  Life sure knows how to toss surprises at us when we least expected. I can't explain why I felt that way but the feeling is worth a trip to a place I despise and going back to the gym is definitely on my to-do list.

Moving Out

I moved out of my parents' house for past months and have been on my own since then.  I opted to rent an apartment with two other people and the feeling of going out on my own was intimidating at initially but the past months had taught me so much about adulthood and what it takes to carry adult's responsibilities. My coworkers and friends have retold countless of stories of how they live on their own and their stories gave me a few advice on how I should as well but actually doing it takes much more work and efforts than I anticipated.  First of all, moving out means I had to refurnishing on my own, the question of how would I get the living room sofa and the kitchen table was definitely not on the top of my to-do list before moving out.  I came to realize I need to find ways to get the furnishing cheap and affordable base on the income and budget I have at the moment; thank God my sister's boyfriend parents have extra furnitures and kitchen table and chairs or else I would have to sit on the carpet and eat my daily dinner while looking into an empty apartment.

Here are a few things I learned after moving out on my own:

1. How to cook. I have to prepare my own breakfast, lunch, and dinner now and the hard work is all worth the sweat since it gives me the sense of accomplishments that no other opportunities could replace it.  In addition, having to do the grocery shopping and cooking takes up a lot of time  and it taught me how to think outside the box rather than always following what my parents tell me to do. For one thing, I had to play up the recipe of certain dishes as I don't have the exact ingredients in the refrigerator to make the dish I had planned.  

2. Take care of my own car. My back passenger tire popped last Friday so I had to get a new tire from American tire and had them replaced it. My car needs as much maintenance as always but the difference now is that there is no one to remind me to change the oil and other broken parts.

3. How to be responsible for myself. Waking up for work on time, cleaning up my own mess after cooking or doing some organizing at the apartment, learning how to clean the stove and the floor after a spill are a few things I had to put on my today list now.  They are now my responsibilities and a part of me is actually excited to tackle them once again when they come up.

4. How it is like to experience the sense of freedom.  No more nagging and complaining from parents and bickering with siblings is equivalent to more freedom to do whatever I want.

5. Think independently. I make my own decisions on what to do and how to spend my hard earn money and time and this, in effect, helps me to be an independent thinker.

6. Problem solving.  For instance, I learned how to fit everything in an organized way to a small area and this seems easy but when there are so many stuff and so little space, this creates a problem. It sounds simple to just put a bunch of stuff in one place and hope for the best but it actually takes some organizing skills and thinking in order to complete the task.

All in all, moving out is a change for the better and no doubt has helped me to grow as a person.  This is a stepping stone and a big change for me as I transition to adulthood and learn how to think for myself.

BLINK

Let's try an experiment.  Let's imagine you are standing in a middle of a Target store on the week after Christmas.  50% off Christmas items are laid out on the floor after numerous of customers searched through the Christmas aisle for the discounted holiday collections and foodie stuffs; it's one of days that the Target associates dread since slashing down the price for the items mean more customers than on the regular day basis of work.  The customers, on the other hand, rushed in as fast as they can before their favorite and wanted items are taken by other greedy people who also desire to have them in their hand; a Target store is no racing field but base on how the customers carry themselves it is as if the store is just like a ground space where competition can get fierce and rough any second and in order to get the trophy (by this I mean the wanted discounted items) ones must prepare to hassle at any given second with other competitors, with the attitude they will not back down and lose the fight.  The sale associates know how the game works during the sales after the holiday and they expect the worst for what to come.  You, on the other hand, have no intention on buying any holiday items since your purpose is to come in Target and buy the half and half milk that is needed to make the cupcakes for a friend's birthday party.  However, as you stroll the aisles, you noticed how rough and competitive the customers and how frustrated the sale associates are, they do not say a word but you know for sure that they feel this way since it's on their face.  Your eyes scan from one area to another to study the people in the aisles picking out the items. You are thin-slicing without even consciously knowing about it.

In the book Blink, thin-slicing is the ability of our unconsciousness to find patterns in situations based on a small number of experiences.  The book talks extensively how to read facial expressions and about the researchers who devote their time to mind reading through body language. It's a book that helps readers to understand how the eyes can listen and see things beyond the exterior parts of the viewing objects; it not only can help our professional life but it will do many good to our personal life in term of being aware of what is happening around us. As for the Target experience, you are thin-slicing the customers and the sale associates and you can tell the emotions and thoughts on their face.

The book Blink not only portrays how to read situations with the eyes but it also helps you to know that the eyes can understand much more than what is shown and what it can capable see beyond the superficial levels.

How can thin-slicing helps us:
1. It helps us to process information quicker.
2. It helps us understand what is going around us.
3. It teaches how to trust yourself.

The Art of Listening to the Self

I have been taking daily walks around the building I work at and it definitely helps me to relax from the stress my work and coworkers cause sometimes; my purpose of walking around was to get a little exercise since I do not leave any time out for it when I get home from work but I discover how it unexpectedly helps me in other ways.  I was able to  hear my own thoughts in a clear and confident way.  For instance, when I put myself in a group setting, I was able to hear my own thoughts while hearing what other people say.   Rather than agreeing to what people tell me, I was able to hear my own thoughts and saying no to things I don't want to do is much easier now than before. In addition, when I go through a problem, I was able to listen to my own voice and best of all, I notice I recover much quicker from the blows I get from personal problems for the past days.  Maybe I have changed and grew up as a person but those daily walks definitely put things in perspective and helps me to differentiate the voice of other people from my own voice.

Here are the benefits of listening to your own thoughts:
1. It helps you to think independently.  Confident people are independent thinkers.
2. It shows you what you want out of life. On a plus side, you have the gut to say your needs to people and you are certain of it. You are not afraid of rejection and guilt.
3.  It relaxes the mind.
4. It helps you think outside of the box, and this will come handy as problems arise.
5. Last and definitely not least, you will be more joyful with the life you are leading.

Order in Chaos

In the video "Two Nerdy Obsessions Meet and It's Magic" video, magician and puzzle creator David Kwong shares humans are wired to solve.  Solving is as primal skill just like eating and sleep, in fact, UCLA researchers found that infants can recognize and want to solve problems.  This truth helps us to not get distracted when we are in a crisis or when we get puzzled by something that happens in our personal and professional life.  We are able to think more clearly when solving problems because the idea that we know we can find order in the mess we are in gives us hope and reasons to keep go on and move forward.  This in effect calms the nerds down and we can generate solutions rather than freaking out about what's happening,  especially when we want to give up. Knowing this will not only help us in school and at work, but it will help us in the long run in life. Life will always have bumps and obstacles for us to pass through and this knowledge will give us the perseverance and strength to get through them.


Source: http://www.ted.com/talks/david_kwong_two_nerdy_obsessions_meet_and_it_s_magic?language=en

The Computer Program that Turns the Humans Down

As I scroll through the news feeds on the CNN website as a regular morning routine, I ran across an article that struck me as pure factual but at the same time very enlightening.  The article discusses a computer program named Cepheus that can beat any human players at the game Texas Hold Them; this is definitely no news since there are countless of computer programs that claim to perform human functions, for instance, robots are replacing surgeons in surgeries performing skills that doctors generally do or going to Mars to find life there.  In all seriousness, what struck me as fascinating is how the researchers who program the Cepheus stated Cepheus learned from his mistakes and that's why he is unbeatable.  The human players may win a few hands but they may have to walk away since Cepheus will have a comeback; the researchers say the comeback is a sure thing and there is no denying.

Maybe as humans, we should imitate the characteristic of this artificial intelligence. We should make mistakes and learn from it.   The question is are we making enough mistakes? Are we willing to take risks? If not, maybe it's time to do so.

Source:http://edition.cnn.com/2015/01/08/tech/cepheus-unbeatable-poker-program/index.html

Smart vs. Knowledgeable

Let's start with defining what being smart and knowledgeable mean.  Being smart is being able to apply what we learn in situations deemed applicable. Being knowledgable means know a lot of about certain topics.

When you are knowledgeable, it does not mean you are smart.  You may know and memorize tons of facts but when a problem arises,  and you are unable to solve the problem it shows how little you understand something.  It may show how not smart you are; it does not mean you are incapable of gaining the smart skills, it just means you need more practice of using what you learned.  Now being able to solve a problem requires you to understand the theory and then applies it in the right circumstances.  It's like taking a chemistry test; the professor teaches the theory of conservation of energy and the student has to apply that rule in a test question.  The student who does not understand it will have a trouble and may not be able to get the question right.  The student who understands the law of energy conservation will have a higher chance to get the question right.

You can not be smart just a day, you have to continuously train your brain to think smartly.

Being smart requires:

1. Being conscious of the differences between being smart and knowledgeable.
2.  Being knowledgeable.  In order to apply a subject, one must know what the topic encompasses.  Period.
3.  Being able to apply the learn knowledge to situations.  This is probably the hardest part at first since doing anything for the first time is difficult.
4.  Confidence. You have to believe that you can do it.
5.  Practice what is learned.

It's important to be knowledgeable and smart in order to survive this world; this applies to the workforce and school situations.  Being smart is a trained skill and anyone can cultivate and make improvement on it.  The brain is not fixed, it can learn anything and adding one more skill to the list of to-do will only make it better.

The Scheme of Conflicts

My sister and I moved to a new apartment last week and we had one of the big fight for the first time today.  It wasn't even about something big, the topic of the fight was small and trivial and it's been two hours since the conflict ended and looking  back I recognize all the flaws in it and how I would change my approach the next time we have another combat like that.  I love my sister but like many people having siblings will create unwanted conflicts at times and there are times where I want to leave them and not have to deal with them forever.  Is this possible?  In my case, not really since we need each other, if not as supports, I still need them in term of finance, etc.

Our argument lasted about one hour and there were small arguments following it, however, I learned so much from this conflict that I realize the one hour was worth the experience. I learned that conflicts can help me grow as a person.  The experience reveals parts of me that I might not have known or oblivious to.  Conflicts teach me how to stay calm and not do anything stupid.  I was definitely not calm during the argument (I'm sure many of you can relate to this) but I was able to recognize it and it taught me what to do the next time something like this happens once again.

I also learned how to deal with conflicts.  First of all, do not run away from conflicts, face it head on; the more I run away from it, the more it will bite me int he butt later on. In addition, in order to solve any conflict, I have to remove myself from the heated situation so I can think through what's happening and come up with solutions on how to react; there are many ways to fix a problem and removing myself from a situation will allow me to do that and put me in a better position to do that as well.  Last but not least, sometimes it's best to step back even if you know you are right.  If two parties are at it and no one decides to step down, the conflicts will not go anywhere.

Today was definitely a learning experience and maybe it's a new beginning for a new thought process and change.  Life sure knows how to teach us a lesson when we least expected.

Acceptance

There will be a point in your life where you finally realize and understand something, this applies to the academics, sports, work, conflicts, etc, and those aha moments come unexpectedly and it gives hope to the future.

I had one of it today while watching a Harry Potter movie today and that is the last thing I expect my brain to get it.  My aha moment is accepting my life for what it really is.  I realize that I cannot have it all and it's such a great joy to accept life for what it really is rather than trying hard to make things better when it's impossible to change them and fight the unexpected.  I've done this for the past three years of my life and don't get me wrong I lost many battles but at the same time I won many battles as well; some of these battles were inevitable and they were a part of growing up and at first I struggled to accept and acknowledge them because of my egoistic and feminism values and fighting them did not help to get rid of the flames, as a matter of fact fighting it is even harder than accepting for what it is.  How can this happen to me? Why did it happen? Why didn't I see it coming? Those were the questions I heard myself asking every single day and if you talk to anyone who is going through a tough time he would only give you sympathy because those words echo his thoughts and feelings.  Maybe those wise words from the olden days were true, maybe it is best sometimes to catch what life throws at you and move with the waves of life. 

There are many benefits to accepting life for what it is.  First of all, it helps you to adapt to changes.  Changes occur everywhere; our bodies are constantly changing from the microscopic levels to the macroscopic levels.  People come and go, your perspectives about life are constantly molded, altered, and formed every single day and you may not realize it.  Adapting is a survival skill we all have to master in order to survive this harsh world and acceptance in itself can help cultivate that.

Secondly, acceptance is a sign of healing.  We refused something because it's not what we expect and that act only puts more burdens on the person.  We say it's not fair that that happened and so we pushed it aside and blame on something and someone for the reason why that even occurred.  In the end, the person who refuses the way life is is the one who suffers the most.  This healing, or the act of acceptance may be hard but maybe it's a sign from mother nature telling the individual that life is getting better.