The Scary Stuff

I did something scary today. It's something I would have never done ten years back.  It's something my immigrant parents would not approve at this very moment. It's something I wanted to do for so long but never had the gut to do it: I booked a European tour for the first time.  Many people are well-traveled and the thought of exploring different countries adds more excitement to their life and they cherish those thoughts of being able to step on a foreign land; I mean who does not want to be exiting? That's how you attract people, a life partner, and friends to your life; it's how you get notice in a group setting and even at work.  I contemplated on traveling to Europe ever since college years and maybe even at a younger age than that; in fact, I wanted to study abroad but I declined due to financial reasons.  Now, having my own money gives me the freedom to do what I want without the constraint of any financial reason or any older adults' objection; the money I saved up gives me wings to do what I want and it takes the fear of the unknown away--of course, the fear is alleviated but not taken away.  I mean I am still scared of going on this trip as a 27-year-old person. As I ordered my tour today and as I talked to the traveling agent, second thoughts appeared before me: am I doing the right thing? What if I get kidnapped and killed in Europe? What if I don't have enough money to do any of the fun stuff there? What if I am not good enough? What is I am not brave enough? What if I am not smart enough to find the right direction to go where I wanted?

One thing I learned for the past three years is that many self-improvement acts are frightening.  They help you grow as a person but at the same time, you might have to face your inner critics and the self-doubts that hover over your head.  It's simple to just decide to take action but it's not easy to put it in action.  As I talked to the traveling agent, my voice shook and the inner critic in me revealed itself once again.  I finally made the $200 deposit and I felt relieved because that hardest part is over; I finally saved a spot for myself on the tour and I will travel to seven countries in Europe which is something I have dreamed since college.  From this, I learned to embrace my fear because it is a part of growing and becoming a better version of myself.  Maybe it's not the external circumstance that hinders us back; maybe it's the inner voice that has always prevented us from doing what we want and from succeeding. And maybe it's best to just quiet that inner critic if we ever want to do anything great in life.