On Money

After working full-time for three years, the value of money is something I learned to understand. Money does not grow out of trees and working hard for each penny is an activity that one must work on and truly to appreciate if we want to save for something bigger. I have saved some money and it’s all thanks to my frugal immigrant parents who encourage me to constantly think of the future and of what I can spend later on since the first day we stepped our foot on this land of opportunity; in fact, my mom is a master of frugality; she thinks about every penny going out of her pocket and does not waste any hard-earned money she makes over the years. If we go out for dinner and take home the food, my mother would save the containers and use them for future lunch packing or outings as a family. I used to think how pathetic that is but work has taught me how every penny counts and the tendency to get embarrassed by my mother’s saving action in the public was obvious by the squirming and the pink-turned-red face of my siblings and me at every opportunity my mom collects something home.





Lately, I adopted a new perspective: I accept the fact it’s okay and even normal to spend money. In the book #GIRLBOOK, the author Sophia Amoruso states, “Spend money because it's an investment in your own well-being.” I believe in saving but I also believe in spending when it is necessary to help me grow as a person. I recently got my first manicure, lame I know, and I felt no guilt for spending $20+ on it since I have always wanted to gain the experience of being in a salon and getting the pampered treatment from the nail technicians. The key is to not spend when we are bored or have nothing to do; the important thing is to spend on the stuff or experiences that would help you grow as a person and expose you to new parts of life. Think of it as an investment that will better yourself and help you understand life better. In the show Shark Tank, the investors or Shark only invest on a business that they can see a good future; if they see something bad may happened a long the journey of them working with the entrepreneurs, they automatically choose not to invest on that company. If they see a business that would benefit them and help them grow their money, they would put their money to it. In the same way, we need to think like the investors; we need to be able to differentiate what will help us grow or what will prevent us growing in the future. If there is to gain from our spending, go straight ahead and do it since the gain will outweigh what we have to sacrifice. Sometimes, life is too short to think twice, YOLO.

Learning From Other People

At the suggestion of my sister, I decided to give the book #GIRLBOSS a look. It is beyond what I was hoping for and I find myself to want to read more of it after a glimpse of the first chapter.  The book is written in a simple language compared to many of the articles from the New Yorker magazine which are written by professional writers who have years of experiences in writing to the public and for the academics; the language are composed in layman terms, so it is easily to understand with just one look at it; you definitely do not need advance degree or be at a college reading level to comprehend the main point of the writing.  The work was written by the founder and was then Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of the retail company Nasty Gal Sophia Amoruso (she recently stepped down from the CEO position in January 2015).  She discusses her life before she built the empire of Nasty Gal, how she created the company, her failures, and her success in the brutal and competitive world of business. Her writing is very straightforward; surely, there is no wishy-washy language, everything is clear and honest about her experiences in life so far.

I love reading biography especially from people who made it in the real world and who proved to other people, especially the critics, they can succeed.  The book #GIRLBOSS succeeded and fulfilled this desire and my fondness for it is evident on how much I am excited to read it every morning. I discovered that reading about people can be a pure adventure with unexpected turns; why? I don't know where the person come from and every new fact makes it easier to understand the person and her life as a whole.  From this experiences, I learned that learning from people can be a exciting ride to joy and this in the end benefits me as a reader as well.

Here are a few reasons why we should read and learn from people who made it big in life:

1.  They help us put things in perspective.  In the book, Miss Amoruso discusses how she came from a disadvantaged background.  She did not come from a family with money; she has no college degree and did not even complete community college; she had no guidance on her future and what to do with life.  She had to basically learn everything on her own in the real world, which she called herself as being "street-educated."  Despite all of this factors, she made it; she is a millionaire and founded a retail company that is growing everyday.  This puts things in perspective and gives readers who come from a similar background as hers hope.

2. We can relate to other people; their success reminds us that all the bad times are normal and we can pass through it and still succeed in this life.  Miss Amoruso recounted how she had some conflicts with other sellers on the Ebay and how she kept her calm during the catty fights that she witnessed.  I'm sure most of us have been through a conflicting situation as hers.

3. We can learn from their mistakes and this eventually prevent us from turning on the wrong path in life.  In the chapter "Money Looks Better in the Bank Than on Your Feet," Miss Amoruso talks about how her credit score was ruined by a non-payment of a Victoria Secret bra that she bought a while back.  Since she moved many times, the bills that were sent numerous times by the company failed to reach her and because of this, she was unable to pay for the transaction.  From this experience, the author suggests readers to pay their bills on time in order to prevent bigger problems later on on the road.

4. Hard-work does pay off.  Sophia Amoruso echos and demonstrates how this work through out the book. She believes in order to succeed in anything in life, we have to work hard and getting free stuffs--especially by shoplifting that Miss Amoruso was guilty of-- does not work.  Life gets better when we succeed in life and this only results from all the hard work and sweat that we put into it.

So what did I get from the book #GIRLBOSS? I receives loads of advices from a person who had nothing to start with in life and is now the founder of a multi-million dollar and fast-growing company. These advices are not from some daydream but from real life experiences and we all definitely can benefit from what she learned in the real world.  Undeniably, it's a win-win situation.

What Women Don't Need to Do

As an Asian individual, I was taught to follow regulations and rules for most of my childhood and even through my adulthood so far, and this is from home related tasks to school related work and to even work related situations.  I get it: we need to follow rules in order to do certain tasks successfully and   thoroughly; it's not easy for a new person to do new tasks so they are there to give guidance and an extra push for the new person.  I think rules and regulations are great since one of their purposes is to help the person succeed and excel in whatever they are doing.  However, there are times it is more than acceptable to break the rules.  I was browsing the website Life Hacks one day and I ran into an insightful article called "15 Things Women Don't Need Though They're Expected."  Society can be a confusing bunch and place to be in; it puts laws and rules on certain individuals or groups in order for it to run smoothly and which helps humans adaptive to the situation. In the article, the writer lists out the behaviors women are expected to show and carry out; but the new kick is that the article argues that women do not have to follow any of those social norms.  Women do not have to be nice, keep up with fashion trends, sit with your legs together, apologize, explain, clean your house, have kids, work outside the home, work inside the home, wear a shirt, wear a bra, wax your legs (etc.), speak quietly, act like a lady, and agree with this post.

To sum up, the article asserts that women do not have to follow the social norms that are place on them.  Dalai Lama once said, "Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly."  This applies to this situation and many other circumstances in life.  Women have to learn what is expected of them and this will give them the confidence to do whatever it takes to prove society wrong and to better themselves and to do great things.

Source:  http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/15-things-women-dont-need-though-theyre-expected.html

Disciplining

Disciplining yourself means to train yourself to do certain tasks.  You can discipline yourself to learn how to be a better test taker, how to think better, how to ride a bicycler, how to read and write, etc; basically, you can train yourself to do almost anything.  The desire to do it is easier to arrive at but the process itself can be darn difficult.  When we train ourselves to do something, we are changing the process and undo the parts of some parts of our brain that learns the incorrect ways of doing something; our brain gets confused and frustrated and even uncomfortable because we are letting it do something that it's not use to or we are reteaching it something else; we have to remember that getting frustrated is a natural stage for disciplining and when we continue and move pass it, we will grow and be a better person and this eventually will help us succeed in future endeavors in many areas of our lives.  The key to getting pass the disciplining stage is: first of all, the right attitude and motivation will help us sail pass the obstacles.  Second of all, it takes practice, a lot of practice.  Success does not come over night; it might take days, months, and even years to build a disciplined habits and you will have to go though a great bout of frustrations and maybe depression to get to where you want to be.  The investor Robert Herjavec once said, "Tough time does not last, tough people always do." Once we remember that, once we acknowledge that we can fly pass any obstacles we become tougher and this will give us strength to handle future problems.  What matters is we need to keep pushing ourselves and seek new opportunities out there.

Logic

Logic comes easy for some individuals and it’s unnatural for others.  Being logical means to have the ability to process information—internal or external information-- in a sensible and reasonable way.  It is a systemic process that looks at all aspects of the situation and the information given and make a conclusion and eventually an action will result from there; thinking about thinking is the main part of logic.  Logic comes from experience; we can’t just read and learn about it in school; it's as hand-on and one must put it into practice every single day.  It is not driven by emotions, authoritative innuendo, group-thinking, and the desire to please other people.  The benefits are endless: it helps us to think clearly and teaches how to think for ourselves and it helps us to become a better problem solver.  We need it in order to do well in school and more importantly in life; we need it for work and later on in our chosen career, etc.  It will only better us and definitely take us far in life. 

Forgiveness

As a Christian, I was taught to forgive those who wrong me and this will eventually lead to a more joyful life that God wants me to live.  The question is what is exactly forgiveness? It is a feeling? Is it logical? Is it possible? Is it worth it? Forgiveness is more of a mental shift in a person and this eventually affects the action of the individual; rather than holding a grudge and letting the past lingers on mind, we decide to move on with our lives and look pass at what happened before.  It is a mental process that produces an action; likewise, it is a decision that we all have to take now and then as predicaments arrive or else we will burn and get torn out by whatever bitterness in us.  It's a simple concept but it's not easier. It takes a lot of determination and motivation to do it and the individual has to actively make that decision.  A few results come out of forgiving people; first of all, we will receive a freedom that we have never seen.  Our angst will automatically release us from the chain that holds us back and we will continue to move forward with our lives rather than staying stagnant.  Furthermore, we have more time to think about the important things in life.  We can zoom in and focus on what makes our life better and what is not.  Forgiveness isn't an easy task but maybe we should give it a go more often, maybe we should all acknowledge it and take it more often in aspects of our lives, why? We might land on something we never always want.

Being Assured

My late 20s has taught me so much about how to be assured of myself; it was—and still is--not easy because there is a part of me that always want to prove to others of my worth and please others. We want to feel accepted and fit in with society and not to hurt anyone’s feelings and sometimes, it’s because of this, we become more unassured of ourselves every single day since we are allowing other people to determine and do the thinking for us.

Being assured means we know who we are and know what we want out of life. We can think for ourselves and appreciate ourselves without having any other external factors play a part of; it takes a lot of trial and error to get to that point and we will have to pass through many frustrations and hardships in order to get to that stage.  There is a saying that life is simple but it’s not easy; the simplicity of reaching the self-assured path has a simple formula but getting there will require a lot of concentration, endurance, and motivation. The formula is to practice every single day being decisive of your daily decisions and actions and eventually our confidence will grow. But in the end, all the sweat and frustration will be worth it when we remember where we are going is more important than where we are today. 

Open Yourself

I cried today. I don't know why I cried but tears kept falling down and however I tried to change the direction of my thought, my mind is still occupied with the news that was given to me. My closest friend broke the news today that she's pregnant. We were born in the same year and grew up in the same neighborhood and attended the same school for most of our lives since childhood. She's like the sister whom I never had and wish I had so the news was definitely a personal one.

The exact reason on why I cried is not obvious to me, but my guess is that the reason is mainly that the news was so unexpected that it's partially scary, it's frightening to know that my best friend will have an addition in her life. She said I will be like an aunt to the kid and that's when I started to cry.  It was such an unexpected news that I broke me to pieces.  Fear contributes to those teary eyes and from this experience, I learn to come to the unexpected with open arms and accept that being afraid is normal at any given news.  Life gets messy and it's unpredictable, life is volatile, it's constantly changing and the best we can do sometimes is to flow with it and enjoy the ride.  Every situation is an opportunity and we must all grab it and in in the end of the journey we might get something out of it, we might grow and gain strength from the situation.

The Vision

Recently, watching the television show named Shark Tank has been on my to-do list for most evenings after a long day of work. My sister has been talking about the show for some time and I finally gave in to it and gave it a shot.  In a recent episode, cofounders Andrea Sreshta and Anna Stork from the company LuminAID was featured on the show.  They presented their company to the five investors, who are known as the "Shark" on the show, and all five investors offer to invest in the company.  At the end, business partners Anna and Andrea chose the investor Mark Cuban to work with.  All the other four investors believe in the company and the cofounders but the difference between Mark and the other Sharks was that he sees the same vision as the cofounders and that bought Anna and Andrea's favor and Mark was chosen for that reason. Anna stated Mark has the same vision as them and they appreciated that.

In the same way, we all want to be around and work with people who have and see the same vision as us.  As adults, we all want to be understood and feel connected to someone else in a grander picture. Gone are the days of just being around people and doing trivial activities that have no set purpose;  we don't want just to have someone to do something with us as we age, we want someone who sees the same vision as us and help us grow from the stage we are in life.  Cofounders Anna and Andrea did not just want someone to give them the money they need, of course this would help them a lot, they want someone who they can work with and who has the similar mindset as them.  Knowledge is power.  When hardships arrive, knowledge will triumph over the negative aspects of the situation.  The vision gives hope and it will give us the endurance we need in order to get through it.  Having someone who has the same vision as us gives us more strength and more empowerment to accomplish what we want out of life, no matter what that is.

The MInimalist

Recently, one of my favorite Youtube makeup guru Xteener got rid of a lot of her make-up to a minimal and she said she was much happier. She cleaned out her drawers and baskets worth of make-up in her room and all is left are the few items she need and uses on a regular basis; the real name of Xteener is Christine; she is a Vietnamese American living in Atlanta, Georgia; she started doing make-up tutorials on Youtube in 2009 and has devoted to making videos since then.  She does make-up and fashion videos which aim to help young women to look better and to express themselves in a better way.  I have watched her videos for the past six years and her beauty and fashion advice have never failed me a bit; her style and way of putting on make-up are functional and can be applied to many situations and at any time and day in the year.

Christine rarely posts Vlogging videos but she decided to put one on today.  The video chronicled her weekend: what she did over the two days, what she ate, etc.  In one clip, she described how she finally reorganized and cleaned her make-up cabinet and got rid of many products; she stated her hoarding of the make-up was not healthy and cleaning it up to a minimal created a happier mindset for her.  This clip taught me how being minimal makes you happier and that having less helps us to focus more on the important things in life. We can apply this rules of thumb to any arena in our life, such as in our romantic, personal, and professional relationships.  Maybe having more is not the answer to our struggles, maybe it's being minimal, maybe just have what we need is more than enough to fill in that empty gap we have in our hearts.


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Can't Wait for the 30s

There is one common revelation that people in their 30s know and accept wholeheartedly: they stop caring about what other people think about them.  In our 20s, it is one of the hardest decade of our lives since we are trying to find out who we are and trying to adapt to the adulthood like millions of people out there in the world. In fact, we get into relationships that were not meant for us because we care so much about the negativity that people tie with being single out there or we choose a career path that we hate because people say how good and how financially secured it is.  Our 20s are filled with decisions that are based on how society and our peers view and appreciate.

People in their 30s know who they are and they are not afraid to speak up for what they want out of life and this is visible in any relationships they are in; however, in order to get to that point, or to that stage in life, many people had to go through milestones and challenges in their 20s in order to appreciate themselves and their own decisions. The 20s are filled with unwanted and unexpected failures in a lot of areas of our lives, think relationships, friendships, career, jobs, etc., and when we deny to accept the fact, we will drive ourselves insane and this is a sign of denial to problems and this will only leave problems unsolved and lingered longer than they should be.  So the 20s is the self-discovering years and the 30s are the years to enjoy the self more, I don't know about you but knowing what to come in my 30s gives life more hope and definition.

Creativity

I ran across an article about graphene the other day and it grabbed my entire attention.  The article was about six pages in length in the magazine the New Yorker, and as those of you have read the magazine, its article are generally quite lengthy compared to other magazine.  The article discusses how researchers and scientists discovered graphene and how it is put to use in a new setting; for instance, graphene can conduct electricity at a much faster rate than silicon materials and this will eventually help to build better and faster technologies later on. In addition, graphene are used in 3D printing; researchers are putting graphene on top of certain prototypes of the 3D printing in order to make the printing results more efficient and useful.  The article is written in a layman terms so if you can read English at a college or high school level, it is definitely a digestable piece of work to process.  This article proves how smart the human brain its; it is smart in its own way but we have to take advantage and know how the brain works in order for it to be creative.  We have to put some effort in building its creativeness and nourish the strength it has in order to put it in a useful way.

An Outing at Night

It's 8:45 and I am standing in front of my apartment breathing in the crisp cool air that flows through my nostril; my body feels tense from all the stress from work today but no worries, just a few minutes of walking will undo the damage and restore the energy that work zapped out of me.  I am standing on a sidewalk, covering by pavements, and on both sides, there are various plants, some have flowers and some do not.  I've taken this walk for some time already but at every new occasion, there is always something new to see and something that stands out which keep me entertained during my walk.  The tall apartments on both sides are mostly dark and quiet in the interior but the apartment to my front left has the sound of a child, perhaps in an infant age, screaming on top of her lungs then it became quiet.  It's about 61 degree outside in the opening and it is actually warmer than before as spring is approaching soon. Most of my neighbors are in bed right now so the peacefulness reflects the soundless environment and the calmness of the dark night.  The earth is quiet in its special way and this peacefulness gives me a sense of belong to this earth.  We are meant to enjoy this great weather and this short life we have so enjoy as we do not know when our last day will be. 

It's Okay.

As humans, we want to find the purpose of our lives and to have everything planned out. When things do not go our way, we become a baby once again; we panic, cry, become whiny, yell, blame, scream, etc. We are adults but we act just like little children who run around and not thinking straight when things do not pan out the way we desire.  People say the 20s is the most important decade of our lives; it's a time where there is self-discovery and self-reflection and it's a time where the foundation of our lives is formed; it's a time where we are fitting pieces of our lives together and hoping they would make sense; making sense or not, people in their 20s go through many changes and disappointments that school and family did not prepare them for.  When people in their 20s realize it's okay to not have everything figure out and it's important to just go with the flow of life, things begin to make more sense.

My 20s have had some rocky events that shook me and it makes me question everything I learn in school and what was taught to me during childhood at home; lately, I figure that it's actually typical to not have things all figure out.  In the last episode of the Season 4 of How I Met Your Mother, the character Lily said, "Look, you can't design your life like a building.  It doesn't work that way.  You just have to live it...and it'll design itself."  A lot of time, we try to  build our lives and when it doesn't turn out the way we want, we dive into depression and this sucks the life out of us; we stop enjoying the things we used to enjoy and we get irritated over the small things that are not worth our time.  Maybe it's okay to be scared and to not have what we want, maybe not having what we want is the best thing that can happen to us.  Maybe, maybe we just need to live life and enjoy it every minute because we might not have tomorrow.  

Healing

Healing is not a point in time; it's a process that we have to go through after some traumas and its length depends on what the traumas were and the personality of the injured person.  There is no exact time frame in the process but when it comes, the person will know and there will be obvious signs that signals the person to take the next move.  We all hope to come to this point and we all want some closure to our wounds.  The important thing is to remember the healing process will come and you will know it, you will experience a revelation that gives new perspectives.  It is only a matter of time when it comes and the important thing is to remember that it will come no matter what stage you are in life and when it comes, it will change you and it will be the light that will guide you to the right path.

The Wealthy

I decided to visit Malibu for the first time today and the experience was an eye-opening one.  I wasn't expecting much since most of the beach on the Pacific Coast Highway (or California State Route 1) is similar in one way or another; for instance, most of the PCH beaches have thick black rocks or boulders along the beach and groups of seagulls are visible from all ocean direction.  Malibu is considered as one of the wealthiest place to live in California and seeing expensive vehicles such as Lexus, BMWs, Tesla, and Porshes gave proof to its entitlement.  As we drove on the PCH, the beach houses seem very close and very far at the same time; they are either next to the water or on top of the mountains and hills that surround the small beaches in the city and like most of the land in California, dry green plants can be seen through out the vast expansion of the mountains.

Every time I drove to Newport Beach, there was always a swarm of BMW, Porsche, Lexus, and other very expensive cars but in Malibu, everywhere I look, there is always an expensive car here and there, at a higher percentage than Newport Beach. The shopping center across the Malibu lagoon was filled with numerous new and big-name cars that are rarely seen in the small city I live in.

As I study the city, I learned that wealthy people are no different than the poor people.  The rich lost something, love something, and hate something just like any other people.  Life is volatile, it changes all the time and maybe when we least expected; the rich can be poor at any minute and they can lose everything they have at any day of the year.  Some of my clients were once wealthy--they once owned a restaurant and other businesses that brought them fortunes-- and they lost every thing in just one day. One client stated he lost everything so quick that he couldn't believe it; he lost his business, second wife, and custody of his children--all of what he loved the most. From this, I learned we should enjoy what we have and not always wanting something more.  Easier said than done, but I think when we acknowledge the wisdom, there is a sense of freedom that we will experience and this will allow us to enjoy life for what it truly is, rather than living the "what if" style.