New Year Eve

Today is the last day of 2014 and I cannot believe how fast time has flown by and how much I have changed in the past two years.  I am watching a Vietnamese music video that my mom bought and watched countless times a decade ago and I noticed how my thought process is much different than ten years earlier.  A decade ago, I would concentrate on how I feel about the song rather than the technical parts of the song such as the lyrics, instruments, vocal, etc.  I played the piano back then but as a teenager and being a girl with tons of hormones, my focus was definitely not on the importance of the video; believe me I wasn't dumb back then or anything, I mean I was very serious about school and strived to get good grades but it was a time in my life where the important things in life were not important. Go figure.

There has to be a reason behind this change and I believe I know the answer to it.

Researchers claimed the brain is plastic and it can be molded and improved over the years if the individual puts effort into it. With this, I myself is an evidence.  I still have a lot to work on as a person but I do feel the difference how I view life and many other aspects in life. My brain is much more open to new ideas and experiences.  I have a college degree but I would not give it all the credit to helping me grow; what helps me is my experiences in life.  My professional and personal experiences have shaped me to be a better person and pushed me to be a person I need to be.  So yes, the brain does grow no matter how old a person is. The key is to actively work at doing activities that would help the brain grows.

Self-Improvement

I discovered the keys to make self-improvement works: doing whatever you want to improve on and not give a care about what people think.  People will give you looks, glares, mocking faces, frowns, laughs, odd and uncomfortable faces that make sure you see it and acknowledge.  I used to get offended easily about it and would brood over the reactions but as time passes, I discover my hurt is not helping me to better myself and in fact, it is a hindrance that stops me from doing what I need to do in order to get better at something. In order to get good at anything, one has to keep practicing even if a I might not see the improvement in the initial stage.  Expertise is not developed over night, it's developed over a period of time and any smart students know this; I think this bit of wisdom comes from experiences rather than something I truly understand later, it's one of those "aha" experience that we grasped and truly understand it over times.

Self-improvement is necessary in all walk of life and it is especially crucial in the teen and young adult years (eg people who are in their 20s, 30s) since they are trying to find who they are. It's not easy since we will encounter obstacles in all paths we turn to but things do get better.  People will look and make judgements no matter where we turn to, people will talk about you no matter what.  What is the best thing we can do? Like Taylor Swift says, "I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake it off, shake it off" and continue to do what is needed to be done


Quote of the day: "People are going to talk about you.  But maybe you're having more fun than them anyway."--Taylor Swift, People, October 2014

Patience With the Self

The past few weeks have been filled with many ups and downs, and there were days where I want to quit everything and run away to a place where people would not bother me.  I wanted to quit my job, I wanted to leave my family and move elsewhere there is no more hardships and no one to get on my nerve.  This week is definitely better at work, I shared my anxiety with some coworkers and they seemed to understand and acknowledged it, and the atmosphere in the family is more calm despite the regular small bickering that every family is prone to have, and it gives me peace to know my family is back to a normal state.

Life is definitely an endless journey that is filled with bumps and rocks that we all have to pass by.  When I thought everything is fine, another problem arises and takes my peace away.  During my exercise session, the thought of the future lurks itself out and I find myself to get anxious over what road should I take in the near future.  The thought of who I should marry, what career path should I take, how will I support myself, what if I date someone and we break up, what if I marry someone in the future and get a divorce like half of the clients all appear.  I was not able to listen to NPR like I generally do while doing some exercise at home.  Then it hits me that this is a part of the journey of life.  Life is and will always be filled with obstacles that I have no control over what will happen and all I have to do is accept it for what it really is and enjoy the ride.  Being patient with my learning self is crucial on this trek and being able to enjoy ride won't be easy but keeping my focus will help tremendously.

The Little Things in Life

It's pouring raining in Southern California right now and as a 27-year-old adult, this should not be any surprise on my part as I have witnessed the occasion thousands of times.   What surprised me most is I am enjoying every minute of it and going out in the porch to observe the precipitation seems all right entertaining.  Like many kids, raining means no physical education class and recess, this means staying in door and watching the teacher picked-out movies or playing Heads Up Seven Up game with thirty other students in the classroom.  The thought of getting soaked in the rain was definitely not on my to-do list.

Today, I adopted a new perspective. Watching the heavy down pour deems entertaining and worth all of my time. As an adult, I should be enjoying adult things, such as going to the movies, hanging out with friends, trying out the new restaurants in the neighborhood, etc.  I do still find delight in those normal human activities but there is something about those millions of water drops that are enticing and even addictive enough to take my eyes away. Maybe I have grew out of my inability to enjoy the little things in life. Maybe I have changed the way I see life. Maybe I have grown up, maybe I finally learned how to accept life for what it really is and enjoy every moment of it.  Maybe.. for whatever reason it is it feels darn good to relish and embrace the natural part of mother nature.  Maybe that's what true happiness, maybe true happiness lies not on what we have and not have, maybe true happiness is being able to enjoy what life throws at you, no matter what it is.

Fake It

Don't fake it till you make it. Fake it until you become it.  

The first sentence is a common wisdom that generations have heard for decades and the latter wisdom echo it's contents and deepens its understanding further. 

As a woman, I still feel I am constantly bombarded with new problems every single day and for sure they have transformed me into a woman and helped me grow in many aspects of life.  It's an endless war that promises not to be relentless. The saying fake it until you become it is true.  I have been applying this concept for the past two years and it's working.  There are times where I want to give up everything and not have to deal with my problems and I literally have to fake it and I did and it worked.  For one thing, for the past years I faked confidence and made it through countless problems.  Don't get me wrong, there were days where I want to give up everything and leave my current life style and move far away so I do not have to confront them; the temptations lurk in the bushes somewhere and it pops its  head out now and  then and the urge to fall for it is very much there.  It's trap that is not afraid to hide itself.  Fake. It. People. Say. I fake  my confidence and feel like an impostor in many occasions but the good results of my actions keeps me on going back and repeat it. 

However, I discover that in order for any person to fake it until he/she becomes it requires many qualities  in order to succeed.  Here are a few must-have qualities in order for the fake-it plan to work:

1. Goal. You must know what goals you are achieving.

2. Be aware of the obstacles on the path of reaching the goals. In the game of chess, the player has to foresee the opponent's next move so as in life, you have to have an idea of what the next step should be.  Trial and errors will help shape your predictions.  

3. Having a support group.  This could be your friends, family, relatives, coworkers.

Of course, getting through problems depends on the background, history, and experience of each individual.  The fake it until you become it is definitely a model worth trying out now and then.    

Things Do Get Better

Adapting to change has been much easier for me now, compared to two years ago. I am able to adapt to personalities at a quicker pace than before and the obtacles are much easier to overcome and conquer.  Dealing with different types of personalities can be a source of frustration and stress, for example.  Two years ago, I had such a difficult time interacting with my coworkers. They were different from me and  being around them was almost a threat to my well-being.  Many of them were much better than me in many ways; many of them communicate effectively; many can listen very well; many can pretend to know everything very well; many can adapt to change much quicker than I can.  I used to have such a difficult time standing around my coworkers that I had to remove myself from the group so the uncomfortableness would go away. There were days where the only thing I wanted to do was to sit in my crowded and hot cubicle (the air was abnormally high at my old cubicle compared to my current space) and not have to travel anywhere else on the floor, and surely I did exactly that; I was known to some of my coworkers as the girl who didn't talk to anyone. 

The bad part about being quiet is that people have the tendency to gossip about anyone even if the fact is misinterpreted and misunderstood at all levels.  It's the Telephone game where one statement is misheard and the spiral of it continues to the end of the row and when the last person hears it, the statement has been altered and distorted so much that it may be 1000% inaccurate.  I was the victim of the gossip --and probably still now-- and experiencing the negative feedbacks from coworkers was unpleasant but however, looking back, I see the goods it did to me. It's definitely a life-changing event; I am more mature and stronger because the idea that no one gives a care about me is more tangent than ever and from that I learn to do everything for myself.  At that time, anger loomed over me and I felt trapped as if I had no way to get out of the hole that I fell in and I blamed myself for digging the big crater.  I wanted to see the light at the end of the tunnel but the further I walk the darker it was and the exit felt so far away from where I stood.  I was trapped in my own negative thoughts and had no way to get out despite all attempts to find the exits. 

Today, I am beginning to see the light in the tunnel. I am in my 20s and the elders always commented how I have so much potential to do great things in the long years ahead.  Of course, as a depressed and discouraged person, I didn't believe them but the truth lies behind the thought speaks for itself in other people's life and I am a convert to the belief.  I believe I have a long road ahead of me and the opportunities to do great work are boundless and possible.  How did a depressed me turn into such a positive person in just 2-3 months? First of all, the good relationships with my family gave me confidence to believe what I want to believe.  I get good feedbacks from my family and the result from this is more confidence, I have more confidence because there are people believe in me.  

Secondly, I have came to accept my life for what it really is.  I accept that there are mean people in the world and they will do whatever it takes to take away my joy and sanity. The best part to learn was that if I do not give the bullies my attention they will stop; bullies feed on the victim's attention and I come to not let it happen every again.  I have accepted that I am not where I am supposed to be according to plan.  

Being more positive has helped me to adapt to life much easier. I am able to think more clearly as I sit with clients and deal with coworkers on a daily basis. I am able to get so much work done during the work hours.  It's true: life does get better, and the wait and patience will be all worth it. 

Work

I started working full-time two years ago and it has taught me so much about the real world and how to be an adult.  Work and school were two distinguished entity and play fields but the more I  spend days at work, the more I see how much work is just like school.  School is defined as  a place where children go to learn according to M-W Dictionary.com.  It's place, there is no particular location that school has to be somewhere. In the same way, work can be a school and it can be a better place to learn than school sometimes.  College and universities teach theories and the application of those theories are missing in the cirriculum so as a result many graduates find it difficult to adapt to the working world.  They are unable to do the hand-on work that is needed to be a successful candidate in training and employee at work, many college graduates get terminated and even quit their jobs because of their lack of skills.  Today, employers are looking for job seekers who have the skills and may even bypass the education because skills are more beneficial to the companies.

For the past two years, work has taught me so many valuable skills that will help me to do well in future jobs. I treat my job like attending a class. I take note about how to do certain task and how to react in certain situation where I am under pressure.  There are days where I feel like a puddle of shit and do not want to talk to anyone and deal with clients (seeing over 60 clients per month can drain a person very quickly) but as a professional and an employee, it forced me to get out and do something--anything--when I feel the opposite.  Sure, school showed me how to deal with certain task but work gives me the real life and hand-on situation where school failed to.  Work is school, it's a place to learn and when I started to recognize that I am more intentional about how my personal growth and feel I have grown so much.  

Quote of the Day

Here are some of my favorite quotes of the day:

1. "There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you have had enough."
2. "Never make a big decision when you’re angry, and never make a big promise when you’re overjoyed."
3. It’s your road, and yours alone.  Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.
4. Never let one bad day make you feel like you have a bad life.
5. The past can’t hurt you anymore – not unless you let it.
6. It doesn’t matter if you’ve failed or if you’ve been beaten.  All that matters is that you learn something, get back up, and try again.  Because winning is a good feeling, but winning when nobody else thought you could is an awesome feeling.
7. Knowing yourself is one thing, but truly believing and living as yourself is another.  With so much social conditioning in our society, we sometimes forget who we are.
8. Tell the negativity committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up.
9. If someone can’t accept you at your worst, they don’t deserve you at your best.
10. Take all the time you need to heal emotionally.  Moving on doesn’t take a day; it takes lots of little steps to be able to break free of your broken self
11. When you find yourself cocooned in isolation and despair and cannot find your way out of the darkness, remember that this is similar to the place where caterpillars go to grow their wings.
12. When someone tells you, “You’ve changed,” it might simply be because you’ve stopped living your life their way.
13. The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do.
14. Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions
15. Don’t let loneliness drive you back into the arms of someone you know you don’t belong with
16. There are people in your life whom you knowingly inspire simply by being you.
17. ost of the time happiness doesn’t come from money or fame or power; it comes from good friends and family, and from the quiet nobility of leading a good life
18. When something bad happens you can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.
19. No relationship is ever a waste of time.  If it didn’t bring you what you want, it taught you what you do NOT want.
20. You can’t always be agreeable. That’s how people take advantage of you. Sometimes you have to set boundaries.
21. Don’t be afraid of going slowly; be afraid of standing still forever.
22. It’s not how many times you get knocked down, it how many times you get back up.
23. The best things happen when you least expect it.  Just sit back and enjoy the ride.

The first two days of this week have been an emotional roller coaster.  I felt low and happy as if I have bipolar disorder and the negative thoughts consume and engulf my head and no matter how many attempts of trying to get away from it, I failed at it every time and I gave in to them. I did some googling lately and fumbled on the article called 101 Timeless Lessons.  Now I have read some of these quotes before but re-reading them helped me to have a better sense of how applicable it is to my life. 

My favorite quote is "When something bad happens you can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you." For the past years, I have let my past haunt me. I allow it to define who I am, eat up all of my joy, and almost destroy me at some point. Two years have passed and I feel much better, I am slowly healing  but I still need more times to cover up the wounds and the strain and to stabilize my emotions.  My trials will only strengthen me and I will not let them drug me down and destroy me.  I have given them permission to destroy me and I will not let it happened again. Nothing is permanent so for sure these wounds will heal itself.  

You can check out the link to the quotes here:

http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/05/11/101-timeless-lessons/

The End of July

Today is July 29 and we have two days left until it is August.  Time has flown by so fast and I have grown so much for the past seven months of 2014. There were definitely ups and downs and at some point, I wanted to quit life and not have to deal with what was around me.  The past two years have been the transition to adult period of my life and it was tough and I was lost a couple of times.  I feel like my life is more in order now compared to two years ago where I didn't know what path to take and what is good for me.

I had my life all planned out three years back and it didn't turn out the way I mapped it so the realization was a big punch on my face.  I didn't know how to deal with the change and how to cope with the emotional strain that goes along with it.  I wanted to close my eyes and make it go away but it didn't and I had to confront it by myself without anyone holding my hands and walk with me.

The good thing that came out of my trials for the past two years is that I am able to make my own decision and trust my intuition now.  I have seen some of the worse things in life and gone through problems where I had to make my own decision and did things that I thought I was incapable of.  Because of them, I am a stronger and confident person and I want to grow more because I have grown so much.  My wish for the next four months of the year is to learn and expose to many things so I can continue to grow.

Reading

Reading  has been a favorite pastimes for many people for centuries.  It's time where we get to do our own thing and not have to care much about what other people think and say about us; there is no right or wrong way of reading and no teacher is ordering us what books to read.  This is the time where we give in our desire and self so that we may only the one to two hours of the activity.  

Numerous research has shown reading is not only good for the mind but it opens up to opportunities and expand the horizon of possibilities in life, any thing can happen in books and we come to believe it. Books give hope when the though of certain ideas is not a possibility in the real world.  It provides confidence and power to the readers; knowledge is power and the readers become to see the truth underlying the phrase.  Reading can takes us to the unknown land (Narnia anyone?) and to the bizarre and wizardy world of Mr. Harry Potter, basically going anywhere and doing anything is possible.  

All in all, reading has biological benefits but what's best is that it gives wings to the readers and make all things possible. 

Instinct

Growing up, I always had a difficult time trusting my instinct.  People call it the gut feeling, the intuition, the ego, the wisdom, etc.  For what's it worth, it takes time to trust this instinct and I have discovered that as I grow older, I come to rely on it more often when it comes to decision making. Not only do I rely on it with big choices per se, but it is used on small decisions such as where to eat for breakfast, where to get gas, how to do certain tasks, and etc as well.

Now I didn't wake up one day and realize that I need to trust this gut feeling and hope for the best; in fact it took years of experiences and many failures and trial and errors in order for me to come to the conclusion that this instinct is my best weapon against many harms in life and it provides protection against many odds in the real world.  I have failed countless of times in the departments of my love life, professional life, and career and after two years of working in the real world and having the time to reflect on what I did wrong in those areas of my life, the instinct becomes more real and tangent than ever. It all comes down to whether I choose to use it or not and it's very much beneficial to my mental and physical well-being if it is put to use. It's a tool that many individuals take for granted and leave it to the side until it is dusted and even rotten away.

I learned that when I begin using the instinct, it never fails me and it has proven itself to be trustworthy, reliable, and worth my time and attention.   It has helped me to see life for what it really is and guided me to the right path.  Sure there are days where I doubt it and wish there are more obvious signs on what decision to make, but when I give in to this instinct, I find happiness and inner peace.  So fighting this instinct leads only to anger and resentment and giving in to it has helped me to overcome many obstacles for the past two years.  The future is brighter when I look to this instinct for guidance  and I hope this optimism stays and lingers because it's worth holding on to it every second.

The Strange Place

I went to a Middle Eastern supermarket today in a neighbor city and my experience in there was taunting initially.  Most of the people there were from Persia, India, and some Middle Eastern countries. There were a few Asians there but I am sure they may have the scared feeling as they enter the land of the other people.  I generally do not like to categorize people base on their ethnic group in my writing but for the purpose of this blog, I will opt to do that.

After entering the door, the grocery part of the market was right in front of me, the sandak flat bread was to my right and people were in line to buy the $2 something bread.  I recognize the sandak bread right away and made a mental note to buy it but I chose to have a tour around the store before picking anything out.  My sister and I were distracted by the $2.99 blueberry stand which was right next to the door and had to pick up one since it was cheaper than other markets around our area.  My mom is known to be frugal and I guess my siblings and I pick that attitude overtime.

Then we headed to the food court. Food, glorious food. Recently, I have recently became a maniac foodie type of person for the past months and have came to love food; I love trying new food, new drinks, and even some alcoholic drinks.  Many women around my age have picked up the habit of eating out and loving it during undergraduate years and I didn't discover my passion for food until later on.  I guess as a full-time working person, I  have the means and finance to support myself without worrying much about if I have enough to buy the necessary or not.

The smell and presence of these exotic food did not quite attracted me at first. Yelp reviews were great, the reviewers gave recommendation and an outline on what to buy in the store, but the atmosphere did not give me the impression that the food were good and worth my attention.  Don't get me wrong, I love trying new food, and the presence of anything new captivates me very easily but at that moment, I didn't feel it.  For instance, once, I was a Mexican swap meet and saw a cup of the green pear cactus fruit and it held my attention for so long that I finally bought it at a Mexican supermarket (hey, it's cheaper there.) Those of you who have had the fruit before know that the fruit isn't that attractive in their outward presentation. The green cactus fruit especially is very plain and is not at all attractive compared to the colorful ones.

So back to the Middle Easter market. If I can like the an average looking fruit such as the green pear cactus, how come these new food didn't make me gravitate toward it?
After ponding about it, I found the reason: it's the people in the market.  Most of them were Middle Eastern individuals.  Persians, Iraqis, Lebanese, etc were all there. They gave me a look as if I didn't belong there and my social anxiety increased as I maneuvered myself in the market.  I didn't feel comfortable; if there were not as many people in the market, I would have the chance to think clearly on what I wanted.  I did not feel fitting in, I felt foreign and excluded.  My family and I stayed and finished our food and we left without any trace of rudeness from the people there.

Have you ever been in a strange place with people whom you are not surrounded by on a daily basis? If you have, you may have been scared and afraid somewhat.

Here are some tips on how to deal with the fear of being in a strange place:

1. Be comfortable with yourself.  I have became so much more comfortable with myself over the years and the feeling helped me to stay focus on why I was present at a certain place.
2. Focus on why you are there.  If you plan on doing a specific  activity or buy something, do it.
3. Relax. Take a deep breathe and remind yourself that everything will be okay.
4. Enjoy the time there. Fear will always be a part of trying new things, so it's best to just enjoy the present moment.
5. Talk to someone, anyone.  When you feel afraid, that is a sign that you are looking inward too much. The best way to defeat and suppress the fear is to talk to someone, anyone.  Today, an employee wearing a bright yellow polo shirt passed by me and I asked her a question. It helped me to forget my anxiety.

Being in a strange and new place is always a scary thing.  The good news is there are tips and ways to conquer it.

The Critic

The Critic. There will always be a critic in our lives. We will run into them in the most unexpected place and may not even be able to avoid them at times.  We fret over them and care so much about what they say and think about us as if our lives depend on them when there existence may have nothing to do with our daily life.  We may only see them in a small glimpse of our life and may even see them only once in our lives.  They are there and it is in their nature to critique and judge us even if we did nothing wrong to them and even if we are just being ourselves and just trying to live life.  For instance, picture a boss who always has something negative to say about you; no matter how hard you work on a project and how much effort you put into the work, he is never satisfied with your work despite how correct and innovative and spectacular it is. You cry and fret over this one person who seem to be such a big part of your life and whose ghost is always there no matter what you do. You sense his presence in your favorite restaurants, your favorite shopping venue, your home, etc.

What if we rethink about who this critic is? What if we define who this person is?  Is he worth your attention? Is he worth your time to fret over it?

I believe pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.  Critics will cause pain no matter what and they are everywhere, he will trigger our insecurity and shake our foundation and cause us to question who we are as a person. Over the years, I learned to deal with these people and some of the ways to deal with them are:

1. Ignore the critics. No matter what you do, they will always zoom in the negatives of your life.  Why bother give your attention to them? From my past experience, when you ignore them, they eventually stop what they are doing.  They crave attention and especially yours so when you take your attention away, their action will die down.

2.  Use the criticism to improve yourself as a person. Sure, the critics' opinion may seem outlandish but you have to admit that it may be right at some point. Do not let it get in your way of improving yourself. Take the opportunity to examine what they say and correct your action accordingly and use it to better yourself.  This is your opportunity to grow so don't miss out.

3.  Question what the critics say about you. Do they know you as a person enough to say that? Do they have the credential and the life experience to judge you? If the answer is no to any of these questions, go ahead and take a pass to their opinions.

4.  Focus on the people who love you for who you are and know you.  They are your foundation and they will help you grow as a person and you can lean on them anytime.  Put them as a priority in your life because when the storm comes, they will be the life boat that you want to get on.

All in all, critics are everywhere. They can cause pain but they can't hurt you unless you let them to.  My last note is to always create your life and don't let others define who you are.

Nostalgia

I was listening to some of the older Japanese songs that I enjoyed during the college years dated in 2005 and the videos bring back a flood of good memories of those innocent years where I didn't know anything about the world and life.  It brought back the happy time where I just live in my sheltered world and not giving any care about what the world has to say about me. I didn't care if I needed to make money, who I should marry, how to choose the right career, how to deal with people, etc.  It's the bittersweet feeling that I hate and miss at the same time and revisiting it would be a great ride.

In retrospect, I made many right decisions on some of the paths in my life. I chose to complete college rather than having no interest in education; there were time where I wanted to quit school and be a bum rather than going through the hardships that school created.  I hated studying for exams, hated testing, but what kept me going was my love for learning.  I came from a business family in South Asia and most of my family barely finished high school so education was definitely not our top priority.  We value integrity, honesty, hard work, endurance, and no doubt money but when it came to education, my family is not apathetic to it, we just don't know how to succeed in this area of life so as a result, many of my family members do not try hard to be the best they can be in the schooling system.  School is a game that must be mastered in order to succeed and my family has never master it so our attitude toward education is neutral. We know education will take us further than not having one but we ran into the problem of not knowing how it can enhance our life.  Today, I value education and see a big difference between individuals who have one and who lack it.  Education opens door to opportunities that some jobs can never and will never.

Life is filled with surprise and the process of passing the stages in life will not be easy at times. What matters is we keep going and when we look back, we will see how much we have grown and appreciate that life let us tread on that unwanted or wanted path. Things have to fall apart in order for better things to emerge and for us to grow as humans.

Meeting a Person

If I can meet any person, I want to meet Albert Einstein. My first conversation with him is how he processes information and thinks about the world.  Einstein was raised by an engineer father so he has always have a scientific mindset and was taught in a household where it is more than acceptable to be curious about the world around him.  Through out his childhood, Einstein had the opportunity to build models and mechanical devices because his father owns a company that manufacture electrical equipment.  All in all, Einstein was raised in a family that encouraged and promoted curiosity and free thinking.  Einstein learned to think for himself at a young age rather than letting other people dictate on what he should and should not do.  Secondly, I would drill Einstein on how he comes up with physics concepts.  His mass-energy equivalence formula E=Mc2 is seen in numerous textbooks in physics and even chemistry as well. We are all born with the same 
brain but his physics finding proves Einstein can process the information in a way that is more efficient and productive for the society 
compared to an average Joe.  Lastly, I would seek advice on how to survive failures.  During Einstein time being the assistant examiner,
Einstein must have been frustrated because he was not able to secure a teaching position.  I would ask him how to get over the dry period in life
when nothing turns out the way I want.  

How Do You Know You have Grown Up

My life has been a roller coaster for the past two years, disappointments after disappointments continue to torture me and bring back painful memories that I want to forget.  For what it's worth, I have grown so much as a woman and I feel like I am an adult now. I feel independent and more controlled of my life and the I-can-do-anything feeling is more tangible than ever in my 26 years on this earth.  I realize that I am a full grown adult now and there are evidences.  

Here are the signs that you are finally an adult:

1. You stop caring about little things. You stop caring about the bickering with your siblings, when a car cut you on the road, when people ignore you.

2. You focus on the important things in life. You focus on the relationships with your family and your significant others (eg boyfriend, husband, wife, girlfriend, friends).

3. You focus on the positives of life because there are so many things that are out of your control.

4. You speak your mind and you are not afraid to do so.

5. You do things to improve as a person not to impress other people.

6. You make your own decisions everyday. For example, you decide on where to eat for lunch at work, where to go for a manicure, etc. You do not allow other people to dictate your choice.   

7. You know your worth. No matter how many time people bring you down, you are not shaken by it. You know you have a value and the best part is you don't plan on telling other people and trying to show it off. Other people see it and know how you view yourself and they respect you for it. You stop trying to prove your worth and do not give any care for what people think about you.    

8.  You spend more time with your family and actually enjoy it.

9. You choose the right activities and people you want in your life and who you should avoid.  The people screening gets easier everyday as you gain more experience.  

10.  You become a natural leader. You initiate, plan, organize and finish the givens tasks and maybe even cherish the feeling of being in control.  

11. You stop trying to find the "One" and wait for the right time to come when the Prince Charming/or Princess would arrive.  

12. You learn that money is crucial to survive in all places on earth, no matter what people say how evil money can be.  

13. You are more logical. You use logic to solve your problems rather than acting on impulse and depend on other people. 

14. You have money to spend because you work hard for it.  You spend the money on experiences rather than on material things.  

One of Those Days

Have you ever feel like you don't want to do anything? I came home at work at 4:30PM and had my evening and night all planned out. My sister and I were about to go to a New York pizza joint and then maybe I would do little reading and watched How I Met Your Mother.  The only thing I actually did was watching some HIMYM episodes to get some laugh.  The next plan was to do some reading and then go to bed early since work begins tomorrow at 8:30AM.

However, the thought of actually doing some book work cause me to cringe and I find myself to turn away from the books.  I have been reading for countless hours for the past months and I have regain a lot of the study skills that I lost for the past two years.  I definitely can study but I just don't feel like it.

Life is like that, when you expect it to be certain way, life gives you a twist that you don't see coming  It's the ending of a Hollywood movie that the audience finds it hard to believe.  The best thing to do is to go with the flow and hoping things would work out for the best.  It's something I have learned for the past two years and it worked out perfectly; there is no perfection in life but going about life with the attitude of letting things take care of itself works and can relieve stress to begin with.  The important thing is to stay focus and carry the right attitude.  When we have the right attitude, we can get through anything.

An Epiphany

I went to Huntington Beach pier today and since it is the summer, it is hub for high school and college students to gather and celebrate the excellent weather in Southern California; it was 67 degree with moderate winds and cloudy on the weather forecast. I didn't expect much from going out and actually I planned to stay home and read books since I was exhausted from the long and busy day of work today.  My sister called me and asked where I wanted to go and I wavered from the decision to go and to not to go, I finally decided to go out and enjoy the cool beachy weather that HB is known for. It's easy to take the great weather in Southern California for granted and growing up has taught be to count it as a blessing. Being aware of how grateful I am to live in such a weather helps me to enjoy the moment more.

We decided to walk on the pier rather than go down to the beach area.  The bright moon casted its shadow over the dark ocean and the reflection of the moon is worth all the drive to there.  The wind creates bigger waves than normal and as one wave splashed into the sand, another wave was ready to follow the lead and splashed into the empty beach.  People were playing and walking in the sand but most people were on the pier since there is a curfew for the beach area.  As I breathed in the coolness and freshness of the ocean, nostalgia strikes and creeped up to me. I was reminded of my younger self where I didn't have to concern about anything.  I didn't have to worry about what career to choose from, who I will marry, will I ever make it through difficult times, if people will like me, if I can keep my job, etc.  The an epiphany arrived and I realized that life moves on with or without my permission and I am just another person walking and living on the earth.  I cannot change the past but I can create my future if I accept life for it really is. Life is there whether I like it or not and I have to choose to be happy in order to experience life.  

Fashion

Many people claims fashion is a waste of money because it comes and goes, it is difficult to find your own  or that "it" style, it helps the wealthy gets wealthier, etc.  Despite all the arguments at hand, I want to argue that fashion is important as a part of life.  Fashion is everywhere so we cannot shun and run away from it especially in the 21st century.  First of all, it expresses who we are.  Our fashion style shows other people who we are. Wearing different colors expresses our mood and our internal dialog at times; if we are happy then we may be wearing a bright neon color apparel and if we feel down, we may opt for the darker shades.  Not to mention, and sadly, people constantly make judgements on who we are base on how we dress, whether we like it or not. Employers forbid any stereotyping and labeling but judging others is a natural human instinct that we cannot escape and make it disappear.  It is the fact about life.  We are judged at school, job interviews, in romantic relationships, in friendships, and particularly when meeting new people.  Judging is not an all wrong act; it helps us to protect ourselves from the unknown and from any potential problems.  Lastly, fashion is important because it allows us to make good first impressions to employers and potential relationships.  Humans are meant to connect with others and fashion allows us to connect with other like-minded people and to help us transition into a new group or setting better.

All in all, fashion has a cost to it but investing on it will make a difference in a person's life. Its impact on other people and future relationships can go unnoticed at times but when we are aware at the fact it does make a difference, we can use it to our advantage.  

Should money be spent on space exploration?

Money should be spent on space exploration. The act promotes and will open the students to the mystery of the universe.  Trigger the curiosity in students is essential in generating and inspiring young scientists and to endorse the study of science in students for future careers.  The existence of the space only does not produce young scientists, it takes efforts such as exploration and teaching of what is discovered to create curiosity in people.  In addition, exploration will help save the planet.  For instance, exploring the unknown in space helps humans to prevent any catastrophe heading toward the earth. For instance, if a black hole comes toward the earth, knowing the fact will have the Earthans more time to prepare for the worse and for the scientists to do what it takes to avoid the disaster.  Some disaster is unpreventable but implementing strategy plans will only help us to prepare our mind and body for it.  Last but not least, exploring space teaches us who we are. Knowledge never stops anywhere.  Living life is a constant learning process and when we study the mystery of space, we open ourselves to more opportunity to learn who we are.   We learn what we are capable of, our limitations, and what we are good at.  When we stop learning, we stop welcoming change and the mystery.  

Poorer Nations vs. Wealthy Nations

Wealthy nations should not be required to share their wealth among poorer nations. First of all, poor nations will get spoiled and will not attempt to work hard to improve their economy.  Wealth does not come with no hard work. Hard work produces wealth and the poorer nations need to recognize the fact and change up their way of life.  Nothing is impossible; all it takes is more effect and extra miles in term of hard working.  If the poorer nations get spooned by the wealth nations, the poorer nations will be spoiled and will not get on their own feet and grow some wings so they may fly on their own.  Secondly, wealthy nations worked hard for their wealth and they deserve every right to keep it.  To illustrate, take the United States as an example.  The US was not wealthy to start with when the Founding Fathers wrote the Declaration of Independence. The US started with nothing, from scratch and had to develop itself into an economy powerhouse. It had to passed through the Industrial Revolution and numbers of wars in order to get where it is now. Money doesn't grow on trees and it will never will.  

Last but not least, wealthy nations have to take care of their poor.  Despite the evidence that the US is the powerhouse for wealth, poverty is rampant through out the country.  Californians, for instance, applied for Food Stamps and Medi-Caid every single day and they lived below the federal poverty level.  These individuals do not have any means to buy food, clothing, and pay for their medical service so they turn to the government for help.  There are numerous millionaires living the US but poor also share the same states as the wealthy.  

Being independence is one of the greatest feeling in the world.  It gives confidence to the individual and give opportunities to individuals to fix their own problems.  In the same way, leaving the poorer countries alone is harsh but those countries have to fix their own problem in order to improve itself. Spooning and sharing wealth with them won't do any good and will only produce dependency by the poorer country to the more wealthier nations.  

#thankfulfreedom

I am thankful for the freedom that allows me to do so many things that people in other countries cannot. I am thankful for the opportunity to follow any religion I wish to and that I do not get persecuted for worshipping any entity.  I an thankful for the opportunity to pursue any career path and follow my passion.  I can wake up one day and decide to be a physician, a lawyer, a professor, a professional athlete, and etc.  No one will put a limitation on me and tell me to not do something.  Freedom. It's the power to do anything and be anyone I want. It gives hope to the hopeless and the dreamer, it gives hands to the weak, it guides elders and the young ones to the right path in life. It's the reason many people live for.  Use freedom wisely, and it will only makes the earth a better place.

Cell Phones for Students

Students should not allow to have cell phones in elementary and high school.  First of all, students have a difficult time focusing on school work.  They are so engrossed in their favorite Youtube channel and the latest fashion clip art on Pinterest that they leave little time to studying.  The elementary and high school years are the important years to develop the self and good study habits which will help students succeed in college and even the real world.  Technologies can definitely help the students study but they are a big distraction and can prevent the students to reach their full potential in the academics.  Inappropriate videos are all over the internet and just a click of a button, the students have access to inappropriate videos such as pornography and other elicit sexual videos on the web.  Secondly, students may be a prey to cyber bullying.  Many students have experienced bullying on the web and many have chosen to take their own lives rather than suffering all the consequences of the bullying.  Elementary and high school aged students should go out and play to explore the world around them. This will help them to do well in school and to form concrete understanding.  Also, students should participate in activities in clubs at school where they can develop as a person and build leadership skills.  Students are future leaders of our nation and rather than letting them waste their time with the techy stuff, why not have them invest in activities that would help them develop as a person. 

School textbooks

1. Textbooks should not replace notebook computers.  First of all, it save power energy.  We can use the energy on other more important devices that would help students to succeed in school. For example, we can use the power on computer to Google and do research .  Secondly, students stay focus better when they get to write on their books. The physical act of writing aids the students to concentrate on the important information since the brain is apt to wonder elsewhere.  Thought textbooks can be expensive, you can always resell them and make extra dollars for gas and other small bills.  In addition, some old textbooks are worth preserving since they are valuable.  

No Rules

What if you wake up one day and there are no rules? No restriction, no legal containment, no police, no government. First of all, without a doubt, looting will occur.  There is no police to take charge so it opens the opportunity to the realm of robbery and stealing.  Buildings and businesses will be broken into and entered by unknown individuals with the desire to take anything and especially the valuables and the cash in the proximity.   Strangers enter houses through cracked windows and doors and their main focus is the cash and on the way in and out, family will get hurt physically by the mass of unashamed humans who are taking advantage of the occasion.  Speaking of humans, people will use drugs as if they are food and smoking, causing pollution in the air and the smell of second hand smoking to loom over the city's lights.  Last but not least, this may mark the end of the world. where corruption is the ruler and completed its conquest.  Violence, check. Theft, check. Corruption, check.  

The Right Age to Begin Dating

I believe the right age to begin dating is eighteen years and older. First of all, eighteen year olds are physically ready. In today's world, many young individuals decide to have sex before marriage.  It provides physical intimacy and allows the couple to be closer, not just emotionally but physically as well.  The body by then has enough time to mature and prepare for the intimacy and pregnancy, if it  happens. Secondly, the couple has more emotional maturity. They are more ready to handle and tackle the dramas, bickering, and arguments that dating entails.  The strain of daily life may result in constant bickering about small matters and having the legal title of an adult gives the young 18 year olds the confidence to get through it.  Last but not least, it is the age where the couple is more educated. They may have finished high school and is preparing for or attending college.  They have more knowledge and can decide on their own.  They are able to think for themselves and not have to depend on an older individuals to make decisions for them.  Not to mention, their maturity stems from the act of deciding on what college to attend to where they want to live after high school.  All of the listed reason above  prepares the couple for the dating world and will help them to grow and nourish a relationship so it may last.  Patience pays off and the reward will be all-worth it. 

The Animals

Animals are no doubt valuable to medicine. They help humans understand other humans and solve mysteries for many scientific research. For instance, rats and mice are used to test certain drugs before they are put on the shelves of drug stores.  The concept of using animals for research helps us to advance scientific understanding, to develop treatment for diseases, and to protect the safety of humans.  Animals are great scientific models for humans since the animals share hundreds of illnesses.  In fact, rabbits suffer from atherosclerosis, emphysema, and birth defects such as spina bifida.  Dogs gets cancer, diabetes, cataracts, ulcers, and bleeding disorders such as haemophilia.  Cats experience visual impairments as humans.  Knowing how drugs react to the diseases in the animals helps us to understand how the human body will respond to the drugs.

However, one may ask to what extent is the use of animals in scientific research acceptable. Though animals provide extensive knowledge about disease, many pet advocates argue that the use of animals for scientific research is equivalent to cruelty. If the animals did not do anything to us then why are we putting them in pain? We can always use other living things to do the research right?.  Like all controversial  and debatable arguments, we need to look at the negatives and positives and analyze the logic behind both sides.  I believe the use of animals for scientific research should be tolerated, however, if the use of extinct animals should not be permitted at any level of research. We need to preserve every trace of the earth and extinct animals fall under this category; we need to protect them and their lineage. We have no other alternatives to learn so the best way is to sacrifice something. Of course, we will not go all out and take in any animal and study it. There has to be a plan and a good reason on why the animals are being used.  We have no other alternatives besides animals. Sometimes, we have to sacrifice something in order to gain.  

Leave it to the Waves

I take it all in a box and make my way down to the shore,
Throw it in and begin to leave it to the waves

~The Fray, "Oceans"

The lyrics remind me of what is best to do to the past, especially the regretful ones.  I need to put it in a box, walk down the shore, throw it in and leave it to the waves. I cannot change the past and reliving it only leaves me in a embattled and torturing mindset.  Easy said than done of course.  I want to leave it to the waves and move along with life.  

Boys & Girls

I believe boys and girls should be in the same class.  First of all, schools will save thousands of dollars. They do not have to hire more teachers and build more rooms to accommodate the extra space that is needed.  Every year, schools' budgets are being deducted due to the government's cut-back and this hurt not only the administration sector of the school but most importantly, the students are being deprived of the opportunities that the extra finance would bring in.  Rather than spending on the painting and new buildings, investing in the students will be the biggest and wisest investment a school can make.  Students are the future leaders and investing on the material things will only prevent these bright minds from accomplishing other endeavors that a school may provide.  School should focus on the quality of the teaching rather than the separation of the gender. The quality of an education will give wings to young individuals to do great things later on.

Not to mention, students will be expose to diverse ideas. Girls and boys think differently; if you ask a boy what he thinks about a certain subject, he would have something different to contribute and the girls will have something else to give.  There is no such thing as one gender is better than another gender. The physiology of both genders are different. Men's testosterone and the estrogen of the women mold each gender differently.  Being expose to the opposite gender will provide a greater intensity to the learning process because it provides different perspective.  It becomes an interdisciplinary study and that is worth investing on.

Nuclear Weapons

I believe nuclear weapons are global peacemakers.  Nuclear weapons are explosive devices that derives its destructive force from nuclear reaction, from fission or fusion.  The word destructive is, and has every connotation of, the opposite of the term peacemaker, however, it is necessary to use nuclear weapons when many lives are at stake and when the necessity out weighs the cost. For instance, during World War II, the United States and United Kingdom decided to drop the a nuclear bomb in Hiroshema in order for Japan to surrender and surely the strategy worked: Japan surrendered and peace was awarded to the countries that were involved in the deathly war that killed thousands of lives.  Sure, thousands of lives were lost but the event also saved thousands of lives.   Japan would have hurt and ended many more lives if they did not decide to surrender.  We have to always zoom in the cons and pros and think about the consequences of the nuclear weapons, but when there are more pros, why not give it try? If it can save millions of lives, end a war, or prevent another world war, then go straight ahead. 

The Future

The Future. It is such a simple six letter words but it can take over our mind and keeps many insomniacs awake at night. The word future is not scary in itself, it's the fear that goes along side with it that shakes people up and drive people insane at times.  What career should I choose? Who should I marry? Will I ever get marry? What if I marry the wrong person and choose the wrong career path? What if I don't like him or her later on?  Will I ever be happy? Ever? These what-if scenario questions go hand in hand with the term future and as a person in my 20s, I have no doubt people in their 20s feel the same way.  They waver and are in a constant battle with their ego on what action to take, or what action not to take  The hard decision are not called hard for no reason, they are meant to test the decision maker's belief and it will shake the person's foundation.

In the recent TED video, philosopher Ruth Chang challenges the concept of hard decision.  She stated the reason to why people have a hard time making decision is because there is no best option.  We may choose the career banking in finance over art because it pays more; it's not because banking is the best option, it's because it's better in term of getting the higher paycheck and the fact it will provide a better life style. The key term here is "better" not "best." Banking is better because it provides the financial stability and art doesn't.  The future is full of choice but what happen if we make the  big decisions just like the small decision, as Miss Chang mentioned. What if we keep in mind these so-called "big decisions" are just like any other little decisions such as choosing what to eat for lunch, where to go on the next vacation, what shirt to buy at the mall, etc.  Life will be much simple and the worriers of the future will have good night of rest.  A little shift in the mind makes a large difference in how we see the world. So my challenge for the next few weeks is to keep these big decision of the future as the small decision. Challenge accepted.

TED video- speaker Ruth Chang
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GQZuzIdeQQ

Uniforms for Teachers

Teachers should not be required to wear uniform.  First of all, many teachers do not make a lot of money and this will help them save money so they may spend on the more essentials such as paying bills and rent.  In addition, they may spend on experiences such as traveling and visiting museums to enhance their knowledge and their teaching.  Second, there is no use to wearing a uniform.  It won't cease and prevent any destructive behaviors from the students and won't help the teachers become better teachers. Being a good teacher comes from within and outward appearance will not make any improvement in their teaching style or help build their relationships with the students.

As a matter of fact, the act of putting on a uniform may hinder teachers from forming relationships with their students. The teachers become the authoritarian figure that students are intimidated by and afraid to reach out. Good relationship with the students is the key foundation to help build long lasting learner and provide mentorship for the students. The aura of power creates a solid wall between the teachers and the students.  Lastly, students will feel relax since they know that teachers are just normal people who walk the earth. Teachers are just like the parents, aunts, and other relatives in their immediate family.  All in all, uniform has its own benefits no doubt but not wearing them allows students and teachers to be more at ease with each other.

Actor and Athletic Professionals

Actors and professionals athletes are getting paid too much.  How do actors and professional athletics get paid so much? They play and act for big name teams and movies, they get promotion and be speakers for companies such as sport goods, athletic clothing, clothing line, make-up line, etc.  Though they may not earn a lot in the work they do (hey, not all movies bring in big bucks), they participate and work on the sides for other companies.

Still, these professionals get paid too much for what they do.  Their jobs do not require rigorous training such as what physicians, medical students, engineers, etc have to go through.  They may just be lucky for being at the right spot at the right time.  For instance, they may be working at a restaurant and an agent caught an eye on them and sign them up for a contract.  Life is full of surprises and one may never know when they come and these individuals were at the right time and place.

Secondly many amateur and regular people have their skills. The only difference is these amateur individuals do not have the opportunity. They may not be born in a family with Hollywood or professional athletic stars to promote and open ways for them.  For instance, actress Julia Roberts opened doors for her niece Emma Roberts so she may get in the Hollywood scenes.  As for professional athletics, having a family member who is a coach or is an athletic star allow the individuals to connect with people in the same industry whom they may not see on a regular daily basis. In today's world, success requires networking and if one has that, things will fall into place at a faster pace than if one attempts on his own.  No doubt a person's ability is the key to lead to success but at this day and age, networking is the key to welcome in success.

The Subject

If I were to have my professor teaches me one subject in school, that would be any course in the science.  Biological science, physics, physical science, neuroscience, chemistry, etc are subjects that will aid students to be a better learner. They sharpens student's brains by allowing them to recall different terms on exams.  Science allows students to see things and life from a different angle and zoom in what is important and interesting.Second, students will be more aware of the surrounding instead of being passive about their whereabouts. They will pay attention to details on objects and will give more attention to things that deemed as uninteresting before. If they walk into a room, they will see more details and their mind will be sharper as they continue with their study. Last but not least, students will have a better understanding of the world. They will be able to connect different concepts to each other and will enjoy life for it really is. 

Those Animals

In today's age, we do not have to travel to the wilderness to see the exotic an animals that we admire as a child. We have the option to visit the zoo and see those rare animals that do not live in the land where humans inhabit.  Of course, when something exists, there are always arguments on its existence.  Will locking the animals up benefit or hurt them? 

One of the benefits of keeping the animals in a guarded area is that they will remain safe and protected. If it wasn't for zoo keepers, some animals would be extinct now.  Tigers and pandas, for instance, would be endangered if they did not come under the rescue of zoo keepers. These great organisms helped humans understand the ecosystem and the world and without t hem, humans would have little knowledge of what it's out there in the wild.  

Secondly, civilians have the opportunity to enjoy the animals and study them.  Today, if we go to the wild, it is rare and almost never to see the black bears and the koala. When we go to the zoos, we can see how these animals live and carry out their days.  The view gives us perspective about life from the angle of the animals. Though humans are different physically than animals, both organisms have the same goal: to survive.  Animals are driven by the survival of the fittest mindset just like humans and having the understanding will give humans an understanding on how to improve their survival mode.

A negative aspect of keeping the animals in the zoo is that the animals may feel  lonely due to the separation from their clan in the wild. They may not cooperate with the zoo keepers and may even rebel and hurt other animals and even their trainers.  For instance, the documentary Blackfish, the killer whale Tilikum attacked and killed the trainers. Now, there are many hypothesis on why the killer whales attack the trainers.  We do not know what is in the mind of these organisms and probably have no way ever but the idea that they miss their habitat and clans is  legitimate logic on why they attack and rebel in the human made ecosystem.  

All in all, I am for keeping animals in the zoo. They provide countless of opportunities for humans to improve themselves and appreciate life. We cannot disregard the cons but there are more pros in keeping them and sometimes it's better to just zoom in the positives.  

The Dangerous World

If I woke up one day and there were no rules, the world would be untamed and corruption would spread like a wild fire.  The answer may be similar to a typical the end of the world movie where zombies slay other humans and humans become violent and start to hurt other people.  In reality, the chance of seeing a zombie is slim since the ficticious character is nonexistent.  Humans would commit crime and take no responsibility on their action and bloodshed.  The time is an opportunity for humans to release their reign and be wild.  I hope it won't come to this point, but if the end of the world comes, we cannot avoid it. 

The little Me

Today is cool and relaxing Monday so my sister and I decided to drive up to the hill and enjoy the skyline of Orange County.  We drove to the restaurant Orange Hill and sat on the balcony, which was adjacent to the pitched-black parking lot.  Looking toward the streets, you can see the miniature lights and the stores surrounding the hill.  We entered the hill from Chapman Street and the outline was visible as we looked toward the lights. The shadow of the hill loomed over the curvature of the street lines. We seated ourselves on the dark metal chairs and breathe in the fresh air as we overlook the road.  The tiny yellow lights became smaller as it's souloutte disappears into oblivion from afar.

An epiphany hits me as I take in the scenery in front of me. I am just like those tiny yellow lights. There are thousands and thousands of them and one light is no special than another one.  Likewise I am no special than another person. Working in the real world has taught me I am unique but not special so I shouldn't expect to treat like the birthday girl every day.

the inconvenience

The most important things in life are having a shelter and food to eat and any other things are secondary.  If I have a home and food, then my life is is complete. It's easier said than done, however, since as humans we always desire more and our feeling of incompleteness stems from this attitude.  Why do we feel like we are not enough? Everyday we are constantly bombarded with proposals and propaganda telling us we need material things to make us whole. For instance, fashion magazines recommend readers to buy the latest Louis Vuitton bag and the rose metal Marc Jacob; other sources such as financial magazines advise its readers to buy the dream home because investment is the way to live. But is it the way to live? These are opinions from writers whose writings are tainted and influenced by massive companies whose hope is to have the readers regurgitate money to them after they see the recommendations.  These are inconveniences that divert readers' attention from what is necessary in life.

Lately, I notice another inconvenience in life that puts a threat to a person's well-being and the self. It's called humans.  We are surrounded by people everyday: at work, school, your favorite restaurants, organizations we are active in, and etc.  People, for the most part, add a light to our lives when it's dark  (remember those break-ups you have and your friend gave her/his shoulder for you to cry on) and it enhances our professional and personal life.  There are times where people can be demeaning and harsh for the sake of a better word.  Yesterday, I hung out with some old friends and in the group, one person made it obvious he did not like to be around me and had no interest in what I had to say.  I felt bad but at one point in the night, I reminded myself he is just another inconvenience that prevents me from enjoying life.  I was hurt by these type of people in the past and at that point I decided to not have them hurt me anymore.  Pain is unavoidable but suffering is optional. When we put things in perspective and are cognitively aware of what is going on outside of us and connect our thoughts to it, we become superhuman and have the ability to solve problems.  In this situation, my problem is this mean and harsh human being and I was able to recognize and get over quickly.  The world is harsh out there but being able to separate yourself from it will require strength that comes from overcoming obstacles.  The harshness is just another inconvenience and recognizing it is the first step to help anyone get pass it.

Slater 50/50 Burger

I went to the burger joint Slater 50/50 for the first time today. The restaurant is  typical plaee for Americans to enjoy their burgers and other Americans specialties. TV were turned onto a game of hockey, there was a bar circling the restaurant and most of the goers where Caucasians.  There was the ketchup, mustard, and the hot sauce at my table.

My sister and I shared the 2/3 Slater 50/50 burger and the sides of onion rings and sweet potato fries.  The patty consists of 50% beef and 50% bacon, and it was huge. I could taste juiceness and the meat at every bite. Though the burger was cut it in half, I was full after eating it.  Avacado was in it as well and the melted cheese will make you want to drool and want more.  Go to this chain for the burger and you will never forget!

Trying New Things

Growing up, I was always sheltered from the reality. My parents were first generation Vietnamese immigrants and speak little to no English so they did not expose me to many things compared to well-off Vietnamese families who have been living in the state for long time.  My family could not afford the dancing classes, the swimming lessons, and etc, basically we could not afford the many recreational activities that many American families enjoy.  When I entered high school and college, I was again sheltered by my family and the church. What makes it worst is I didn't make friends easily. plus I had to move to a different high school and lost in touch with the friends I made at the hold high school.  All in all, I did not try a lot of things and it stumped my growth in areas such as my interpersonal skill, my professional development, and etc.

Today, I see the importance of trying new things. It opens your mind and create new neuron connectivity which helps you to learn new skills later on.  Everything is interconnected and related in life and exposing myself to new activities allows me to learn things quicker and more comfortable with myself.  My goal for the rest of the year is to expose myself to as many things as possible.

Brave

Sometimes all it takes is one person to give all the strength you need.  In the latest Grey's Anatomy episode, Dr. Christina Yang was about to leave for Switzerland to practice medicine but she continued to waver during the last minute of her stay at the hospital.  She was not certain if her decision was the right path or not.  Dr. Merideth Grey, who is a close friend of Yang, had to push and persuade Yang to leave  and she finally did. However, Yang returned to the hospital to meet Grey because she was  fearful of what the future holds in Switzerland, a strange and new land.  During their last meeting, Grey tuned up a favorite song of hers and she and Yang danced like they were younger.  Yang looked into Grey's eyes and commented Grey makes her want to be brave. Grey has always been there for Yang throughout the residency training as surgeons, they have been through tough patch and good times together.  Being brave requires a great deal of motivation and faith.  We do not know what the future is but being brave allows us to go beyond the borders of our limitations.  Sometimes, we need one person to push us to be brave; this person believes in you and know you can do great things.  It only takes one person to make a difference.

Making Sense of Life

Life is a difficult to concept to understand.  I used to believe I knew everything about life but many of my hypothesis have been debunked. I was disappointed with life when I entered the real world and questioned by education and my ability to live the right way.  I spend most of my time at work for the past two years and learned so much what's out there.  People are only looking out for themselves and give not a care about me; I used to believe getting along with everyone but I don't anymore. It is not humanly possible and am only paving the way for disappointment and anger if I continue to have that mindset.

One of the biggest lesson I learned for the past two years is reading about life is not enough, you have to actually experience it. You have to close the book and get out there. The world only makes sense if you get out there. You will make mistakes but the ride will be worth it because in the end you will find yourself and uncover the hidden self inside. The hidden self is ready for you if you continue to go about with life and put your footprint and get dirty.  It's easy as taking the first step and get out of your comfort zone.  I have for the past two years and I am not going to look back.

Family

I am trying to understand what connects a family together. A family is a group of people connects by blood, we can choose friends but we cannot choose who our family is and we have no control over what happens in the family.  I was born in a family with four girls including myself and as sisters, we get a long most of the time but there are times where we want to strangle each other to death and get rid of each other--these fights are not only on the big problems but small bickering like who clean the kitchen and who drives can grow into a montrous argument that leads to other horrible paths.

Now don't get me wrong, I love my family. They have been my biggest support during nursing school and undergraduate years, without them I would not know what to do with myself.  My dad has not always been there for me, but he always makes sure I have food and shelter since we immigrated to the USA. He is quiet-- you know like the typical Asian dad-- and mellow but he can recollect funny stories that brings the gigglish side of me out. My mom is a blessing that I take for granted at times; she wakes up early and prepares lunch for me every single day for work and I would be nothing without her. She is the person who cleans the restroom in the middle of the night without complaining and holding grudges.  She is a big comfort if I come to her for any advice. My oldest sister Jenny is the most successful in the family. She has a house and a family of her own, she is graduating from a BSN program this year and I could not have been more proud of her.  On top of her work and school, she takes care two children and they turned out quite normal for their age. These two little brats gave me hope for the future, they have so much potential in them that it inspires me to be the best of myself so they can have role models.  My twin Elaine is timid and awkward but she made a great decision when she dated her current boyfriend of five years Thomas.  He is such a street smart and logical person, he knows the in-and-out of stuff that I am clueless most of the time. She seems clueless about a lot of things but deep down, she knows a lot. Come to her room and mountain of books are on the floor. These are not celebrity magazines and books and pictures; they are books on how to form a business, how to get smarter, how to serve the clients better, and family friendly magazines which have useful advice. 

I want to leave my youngest sister Kim for a paragraph of its own because she is special. She is definitely not a person who I want to be around all the time. She has put me in so much trouble for the past years and she puts herself in situation where I have to scratch my head.  At times I want to strangle her especially when she does things that increases my blood pressure.  I have to deal with difficult people at work all the time and it doesn't help me to feel any better to know I have to babysit and be around with another person just like some of my clients.  However, she has taught her so much about life. She showed me what's like to suffer and be in pain and how to empathize those who are.  She taught me how to find directions on the freeway. She showed me what's like to accept yourself and your body. She showed me the importance of a family. She taught me how to forgive and move on.  She taught me how to live life one day at a time and not to worry about the future.  Best of all, she taught me what it's like to love someone unconditionally.  She is the telescope that allows me to see life from a different view and without her, I would not be able to do it.

Britney Spears once said, “It’s weird like, you can see the cruelest part of the world. The cruelest part. But then on the other side you see the most beautiful part, do you know? And it’s like you go from one extreme to the next and they’re both worth it, because you wouldn’t see one without the other. But that cruel part, is damn cruel and you’ll never forget it. But that heaven…is heaven.”  The family is the heaven part of my world. I have seen the cruel part of the world for the past two years and the heaven...is heaven.  I would not be able to see the heaven without seeing the cruel part.  

Meeting New People

Meeting new people is a scary task.  I grew up having a difficult time making friends and it prevented me from meeting new people.   I went to a camping over the weekend and I freaked out at times when I talked to people.  I didn't get positive reactions at first and my body freaked out.  I was almost in tears at some point because I was not able to connect to the people there. They were my sister boyfriend's childhood friends and other new strangers.  I was able to concentrate on what they were talking on Sunday compared to the first full day that I met them.  I recovered from my scared of being alone feeling much quicker than before. Here are a few things I learned how to conquer it:

1.  Change the way I think. No one cares for me. Period.

2. Always think of ways on how to make a different when you are in a situation similar to it.

3.  Learn to be comfortable with yourself.

4.  You cannot change people so stop trying.

5. It takes time to build trust.

6. Sometimes it's best to not be your old self if you want to grow.

7.   Learn from your mistakes.

What Are they thinking

Recently, the topics of shooting have been all over the news. Seattle residents just experienced a shooting at Seattle Pacific University. The perpetrator is a 26-year-old man who has a history of mental illness, the gunman killed the student Brian Lee in the science and engineer building and the perpetrator  was stopped by a volunteer, who is also a student at the university, who pepper sprayed the him and the other students came and jumped on the gunman.  

A few weeks ago, a 22-year -old man stabbed three roommates and went on a rampage in Santa Barbara, killing three other people, two being a senority member and a UCSB student in front of a deli.  The gunman also suffered a mental illness since childhood and his parents were active in helping him and letting him to meet with health care professionals.  Before the killing rampage, he wrote a manifesto telling his killing plan and the reason behind his act. He hated the fact girls, he emphasized "blonde" girls, fall in love with other men and not him, his anger is plain and obvious in the writing and he makes no intention to hide it.  

The common theme between the two gunmen is their commonality of having a mental illness.  Their physical illness blinds them from seeing the reality and created an invincible attitude where they believe they have the right to kill anyone.  During my undergraduate years, my study of mental illnesses has given me more empathy toward those who are afflicted with the condition. Sometimes, it is not the person's fault for having it, the condition may results from traumatic events such as depression, parents' divorce, molestation, raping, etc. The key to stopping a mentally illed person from committing another killing rampage is to implement a strict law on getting medical help for them. Instead of giving the patients the option to see a therapist, they should be enforced by law to see a therapist; the professionals have to do a check-up to see if their clients are endangered to the community or not.  Treating mental illness like treating a person  with a criminal conviction should be sufficient.  We do not need to lock up the mentally illed, but we need to make sure they are safe to the community. In addition, the mentally illed should be monitored if they choose to buy guns.  Everyone has the right to bear arms but the mentlally illed should be an exception. We do not know what they are capable of when the weapons are in the hands.  Being extra careful will never hurt anyone.