I was angry today. I was not only angry I was very angry. I am sure all of us can relate to this experience and there is no denying of the intense emotions we get when it occurs. We all have one of those days where everything seems so surreal and you just wish you can trade your life with your pet since your cat or dog does not have to deal with the hectic happenings in the real world. There will be a day where you just want to cry your eyes out and wish all the pressure will be taken off your back and that you will be free from the responsibilities of this life. But the problem is it will never happen. No matter where you run, your problems will still be there and they will be with you wherever you go until you methodically and actually fix them.
Today I discover that it's okay, actually more than okay, to let my anger out. It is the body's coping mechanism that will not only relax our mind, but it also helps us to even come up with solutions. The reason being is that the more we keep our emotions inside, the chance of us exploding at inappropriate time will be much greater and as the result, the damage--whether it is in our personal or professional relationships--will be much greater as well. Our brain is wired to solve problems so no matter what we do after recognizing them, it will subconsciously come up with solutions, with or without our permission. So go ahead, cry your eyes out, go in a room and scream your head out and remember that everything will be okay in the end, no matter what the result is because in the end, life goes on and we have to move on with it.
Sunday, June 28, 2015
The Place to Fall
When problems hit us hard, it is natural for us as humans to get knock down and even hurt by whatever the cause. We will fall down if the pressure is hard enough and there is no other way to go then to fall down. We can pretend that we are fine in front of everyone but deep inside, we feel the acid and the pain as result of getting knock over; it not only hurts but it hurts a lot. There will be time where we just want to deal with the pain by ourselves and we have all the confidence in the world to admit that we can fix whatever problems come our way.
However, sometimes we need a place to be vulnerable rather than trying to be strong all the time. Life is about relationships and that is where we find the most joy in. In an episode of Grey's Anatomy in Season 12, the character Richard Weber told the love of his life, "You need a place to not be Catherine Avery [his love]. You need a place to fall apart. I will be that place should you require it." Sometimes it is healthy, and better, for us to have supports from someone else rather than trying to fight the battle by ourselves. Maybe we need that Richard Weber-like person in our lives. Maybe it's best sometimes to open ourselves up to other people with open arms and lean on that one person.
6/28/15
However, sometimes we need a place to be vulnerable rather than trying to be strong all the time. Life is about relationships and that is where we find the most joy in. In an episode of Grey's Anatomy in Season 12, the character Richard Weber told the love of his life, "You need a place to not be Catherine Avery [his love]. You need a place to fall apart. I will be that place should you require it." Sometimes it is healthy, and better, for us to have supports from someone else rather than trying to fight the battle by ourselves. Maybe we need that Richard Weber-like person in our lives. Maybe it's best sometimes to open ourselves up to other people with open arms and lean on that one person.
6/28/15
Wednesday, June 24, 2015
The Year 2002
We all have a time when we find ourselves and discover how tangible of a person we are; for me, the year was 2002 . I was a freshman in high school and since my family moved to a new city, making new friends in the new environment was a must. Surely and to my own surprise I made friends despite how quiet of a person I was and how socially awkward I was capable of. Part of the reason why making friends was not difficult was that freshmen, in general, are eager and enthused to form a group of friends they can be around during lunch and at break times so the effort and the willing to make friends were in everyone's DNA even if it was never their intention to do so and the reason is that making friends was a survival skill, not just something we do passively. Not only did I made friends, my friends were smart and academic oriented; they introduced me to the idea and helps me see the importance of an education and college and the honor classes that would help us, freshmen, prepare for the rigor of the college curriculum.
In addition, the world was perfect in my young and innocent eyes. I was doing great in school, made friends, and most importantly, my favorite singers were successful--though this one is not important to many matured minds, but to my young mind, it means the whole world to me. In the late 1990s, my goal was to be become a pop singer and my worship of the pop artists such as Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, N'sync was evident by how much hours I spent downloading the music videos online (YouTube was non-existent back then) and how many replays of the music videos on my big and old-styled Compaq computer.
Don't get me wrong, I went through some tough experiences just like any other teens. Despite how limited English I speak back then, I was able to understand when a Caucasian kid called me ugly near a locker aisle and which made me cry my eyes out when I got home. I struggled in the classes since many students were much better at absorbing the teaching materials than me and had way better study skills than I did. In addition I felt lonely at times during lunch time because I was not able to fit in a group at the start of my high school experience.
Despite some of the bad experiences, the year 2002 was filled with self-discovery and I would take any opportunity to relive. Maybe we should enjoy every minute of our lives because when we look back, we might find the silver lining in it despite how harsh the experience was. Sometimes just enjoy the moment, whether it is bad or good, helps us find ourselves and deepen out understanding of the world. Maybe it's just accepting and living the world is what help us to become who we are supposed to be.
In addition, the world was perfect in my young and innocent eyes. I was doing great in school, made friends, and most importantly, my favorite singers were successful--though this one is not important to many matured minds, but to my young mind, it means the whole world to me. In the late 1990s, my goal was to be become a pop singer and my worship of the pop artists such as Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, N'sync was evident by how much hours I spent downloading the music videos online (YouTube was non-existent back then) and how many replays of the music videos on my big and old-styled Compaq computer.
Don't get me wrong, I went through some tough experiences just like any other teens. Despite how limited English I speak back then, I was able to understand when a Caucasian kid called me ugly near a locker aisle and which made me cry my eyes out when I got home. I struggled in the classes since many students were much better at absorbing the teaching materials than me and had way better study skills than I did. In addition I felt lonely at times during lunch time because I was not able to fit in a group at the start of my high school experience.
Despite some of the bad experiences, the year 2002 was filled with self-discovery and I would take any opportunity to relive. Maybe we should enjoy every minute of our lives because when we look back, we might find the silver lining in it despite how harsh the experience was. Sometimes just enjoy the moment, whether it is bad or good, helps us find ourselves and deepen out understanding of the world. Maybe it's just accepting and living the world is what help us to become who we are supposed to be.
Being the Right Person
I am not the smartest person walking on Earth and I will never make that claim. The older I get, the more I realize how much I don't know and in general, those who claim they are smarter--we all probably know one or two people like this-- than other people have so much to learn. Experiences help us to understand more about life and what truly matters, or should matter, and what should not matter, whether it is in our professional and personal life. For one thing, life taught me look is not everything; and that without a brain, good looks is void and that adults look beyond looks when they are on a search for the significant others, whether it is a friend or a potential spouse. Of course, we cannot be dressing in rags and hoping to find the right person and fit in a particular group; look is a part of the package of a person and we cannot disregard that since our look tells other people who we are,what we care about, and even our past and therefore, it is imperative that the significant others have the looks but more importantly, we have to remember the characteristics of the person weigh more than the any other parts of the person.
In addition, the money one makes does not matter as much like it used when we were younger; surely, we all want a significant other who is financially stable but what we want more is the love and the relationship from the person not the material stuff, which does not last and is superficial. In the end, what we want is the person and we want to be around a person who can think for himself or herself and who can put joy in our lives. So we need to focus on becoming the right person rather than focusing on the superficial parts in each of us. It's never too late to work on being the right person, we can start today.
Quote of the day: "As you get older you will understand more and more that it's not about what you look like or what you own, it's all about the person you've become."
In addition, the money one makes does not matter as much like it used when we were younger; surely, we all want a significant other who is financially stable but what we want more is the love and the relationship from the person not the material stuff, which does not last and is superficial. In the end, what we want is the person and we want to be around a person who can think for himself or herself and who can put joy in our lives. So we need to focus on becoming the right person rather than focusing on the superficial parts in each of us. It's never too late to work on being the right person, we can start today.
Quote of the day: "As you get older you will understand more and more that it's not about what you look like or what you own, it's all about the person you've become."
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Weeding Out
No one can deny maturing is a long and strenuous process. Sometimes, when we thought that life would get easier after we attain that one college degree or find that special someone, life hits us in the head, knock us over, and throw at us another curveball that we do not expect and we find ourselves in another "situation" again. It's an endless cycle that life will constantly repeat for us and the best we can do, as I discover recently, is to accept it and do our best to find solutions to any problem that arises, no matter what the cause and how difficult the road is.
One of the best part of maturing is that we learn to weed out the aspects of our lives that we do not want and concentrate on the areas that we truly want. It's not easy but it's doable and we will all come to a stage where we have to weed the cancer out of our lives or else the vicious cycle will continue and as a consequence, we will not grow or become the person we want to be. Bad experience is a damn good teacher that can teach us how to sort out our lives and she shows no mercy to the weak and the incompetent; she brings endless pain and stress to those who need to step up so that they can wake up one day and make the necessary changes. But the result will be astounding and mind-blowing from the discipline that life gives to us. It may takes months or even years to recognize the changes we all need to make in order to have and in the end, we will become the person we need to be. Those disciplining in the maturing process is like the water that a thirsty plant needs in order to grow and become a beautiful and radiant living being and if we are determined to overcome the in-coming obstacles, we, too, will be that lustrous living being.
One of the best part of maturing is that we learn to weed out the aspects of our lives that we do not want and concentrate on the areas that we truly want. It's not easy but it's doable and we will all come to a stage where we have to weed the cancer out of our lives or else the vicious cycle will continue and as a consequence, we will not grow or become the person we want to be. Bad experience is a damn good teacher that can teach us how to sort out our lives and she shows no mercy to the weak and the incompetent; she brings endless pain and stress to those who need to step up so that they can wake up one day and make the necessary changes. But the result will be astounding and mind-blowing from the discipline that life gives to us. It may takes months or even years to recognize the changes we all need to make in order to have and in the end, we will become the person we need to be. Those disciplining in the maturing process is like the water that a thirsty plant needs in order to grow and become a beautiful and radiant living being and if we are determined to overcome the in-coming obstacles, we, too, will be that lustrous living being.
Friday, June 12, 2015
The Battle
Albert Einstein once said,"It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer." As one of the smartest people ever lived on the planet Earth, there has got to be some truth in what he said. We all have problems in some aspects of our lives, whether it is in our professional or personal life. Maybe that job did not work out, maybe that career was the wrong move, maybe that one girl or boy was not the one after all. Whatever that problem is, we discover that we have to deal with it at some point in our lives because running away from it is not the right path on how to manage it. So we bite our tongue, we ignore the fear we all have, we fight and struggle with it despite how the will to quit is there waiting and luring us in, and we march on and fight for what we believe in; it takes a lot of gut and self-motivation to fight for the victory and it does not come easy; it takes a lot of effort and maybe more than we have. Sometimes the problem is a battle we have to cross and fight on in order to become a person we all yearn to be. After the victory, we attain the mindset of Mr. Einstein; we discover that the only way to solve a problem is to stick to it and stay attached to it rather than trying to escape from it. We, too, discover there is a solution to every problem and when we recognize the strength in this wisdom, fear becomes a small speckle and it doesn't seem as important and big as it used to be. We become fearless with this mindset, as if we can conquer any problem, or anything.
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
Uncanny Weather
Southern California has one of the weird weather experience today. As I walked outside the building where I work to take a short walk, I suddenly realize how hot it was all of the sudden. Hot is an exaggeration of the description of the current condition; the temperature definitely raises to an abnormal level and the air feels more sticky and gross all of the sudden but it is not hot to the point like in the summer where the temperature can raise to 100 degree Fahrenheit. Google weather shows it is 86 degree Fahrenheit and as I walked to my car after my work shift it was the last thing I expected. It feels like my place of birth in Vietnam and at first I did not like it but unexpectedly, I came to be fine with it and even enjoy it. The air feels foreign and the oddity definitely is rare for a Southern California girl like me. All in all, adaptation is the way to go--like I have other choice-- and I find myself enjoying it tremendously; it is good to have a change in weather now and then rather than having a sunny day all the time which Southern California is well-known for. The weather taught me that we can get used to something over time--no matter what life circumstances throw at us. Life is about adapting to the unwanted and the unexpected and that is how we, as humans, survive for centuries. It's the matter of accepting what is happening in our lives and be still rather than struggling to get out of it because there will be time where we cannot escape our situation, it's just the way life is and all we have to do is to accept it for what it is and continue living.
Sunday, June 7, 2015
What Dating Has Taught Me
I had crushes on many boys back in high school but they never developed to anything else since my family moved around numerous times and I lost contact with most of the people I knew at the old school. I did not date until I was in college and I guess it's a good way and time to get to know what dating is like and my maturity helped me to deal with the fallout of dating at a quicker pace than compared to when I was in high school; in addition, I did not have to go through the dramas and the horrendous conflicts that many teenagers live to tell today. The first guy I dated was a medical student and despite how smart and academic oriented he was, he accepted me as our background is similar and we knew each other back since high school, though we only hung out and our conversation never passes beyond greetings, before he left for graduate school. We dated for a few months and called it off; then after him, I dated a few guys on and off but nothing serious turned out from those experiences. Though, I have to say there were some little dramas in some experiences but despite my bad experiences of dating so far, I learned so much from them and I think they gave me strength and inner wisdom to tackle many roadblocks in life so far.
Here are a few lessons I learned from my many dating experiences:
1. Understanding and communication are the keys to successful relationships. Without them, there will be no strong foundation of the relationship and when problems arise, the relationships will be tested and the chance of its failing is high due to the lack of the strong foundation.
2. It is okay if things not work out. It's park of life. Move on.
3. There will be better opportunities out there. I noticed as I date more guys, I have a better understanding of myself and as a result, I made better first-time impressions. Those missed opportunities and guys are just preparing you for what better to come.
4. Don't try to please everyone because it won't work. Just be yourself and the right things will follow you.
Here are a few lessons I learned from my many dating experiences:
1. Understanding and communication are the keys to successful relationships. Without them, there will be no strong foundation of the relationship and when problems arise, the relationships will be tested and the chance of its failing is high due to the lack of the strong foundation.
2. It is okay if things not work out. It's park of life. Move on.
3. There will be better opportunities out there. I noticed as I date more guys, I have a better understanding of myself and as a result, I made better first-time impressions. Those missed opportunities and guys are just preparing you for what better to come.
4. Don't try to please everyone because it won't work. Just be yourself and the right things will follow you.
Monday, June 1, 2015
Looking Back
I am watching the music video My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion and I'm Not a Girl Not Yet a Woman by Britney Spears and they remind me of my innocent and young years. I was in sixth grade when the song My Heart Will Go On become an international hit and I was a freshman in high school when Britney Spears was at the peak in her music career. I was a carefree young lady who did not care much about what the world has to offer and what is happening around me. Like many young girls, my primary concerns were my school work and how would I get the money to buy my next evening snacks and of course, how to get approval from other people.
Compared to today, my concerns were very much childish and it showed how undeveloped I was a person and how much I had to learn. Looking back, I have changed so much as a person for the past decade since I graduate from high school. First of all, I think more like an adult. I had to go through some tough time in order to get here and I know I have a lot to learn but I have more of an adult mindset than ever before. My brain has matured a lot and I feel like I see things more objectively than in the past. Second of all, the real world taught me the importance of relationships. We all need healthy relationships in our lives and I learn the hard way on how to from relationships and how to nourish them. It takes more effort to keep a relationship than when I was younger but the good news is the nourished relationships are much better than the one that is not. Sure, life gets crazy and stressful sometimes but I find that it's all worth the pain to go through it because in the end, the reward outweigh the pain.
Compared to today, my concerns were very much childish and it showed how undeveloped I was a person and how much I had to learn. Looking back, I have changed so much as a person for the past decade since I graduate from high school. First of all, I think more like an adult. I had to go through some tough time in order to get here and I know I have a lot to learn but I have more of an adult mindset than ever before. My brain has matured a lot and I feel like I see things more objectively than in the past. Second of all, the real world taught me the importance of relationships. We all need healthy relationships in our lives and I learn the hard way on how to from relationships and how to nourish them. It takes more effort to keep a relationship than when I was younger but the good news is the nourished relationships are much better than the one that is not. Sure, life gets crazy and stressful sometimes but I find that it's all worth the pain to go through it because in the end, the reward outweigh the pain.
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