The Doubters

People of all ages will encounter a person who doubts their ability and skills at some point in life.  Whether you are starting a new business or trying to do something for the first time, there will be someone who gives your glares and looks as if what you are doing will not work out.  They will do whatever it takes to shake your confidence and not let you see the light of the day; no matter how smart or how talented you are, they will do whatever it takes to take your confidence away. The best action to take is to ignore those critical faces and voices and do what needs to be done.  There will always be critics in your life, no matter what you do.  When we decide to not care and to not let it bother us, that's when we can accomplish the big thing in life and live to our very fullest.

Knowing Your Worth

Our self-worth is a treasure that may take years for it to reveal itself and in order to attain it, we may have to pass by many road blocks to get to there.  It's a reward we get when we pass by obstacles and especially, when we become a stronger person from all the trials we had to go through.  It's no kidding when people say roadblocks in life are hard.  It's damn hard at times that we want to give up everything and move to another planet or hide in an unknown cave somewhere no one can see us.  But the good news is when we come to the realization that we have a worth, that we matter, that we deserve to be loved, that we are perfect just the way we are that's when we truly live and enjoy our life.  It's hard to truly understand our worth and to see it but time will reveal it somehow and someway; all we have to do is be patient with ourselves.  It will come.  Sit still and know that it's on your way.

It Takes Time to Know

Time is not just a number that tells us our relation to space.  It's a frame that allows us to discover who we are as person; we find out what our needs are and what we want out of life within this frame of number. The bad news is time is limited; when time passes, it's gone forever and nothing can be done to take it back; carpe diem, seize the day, there is a reason why people say that and when we understand how limited our time on earth is, that's when we truly live a life that we want, not what other people want.  The good news is it's never too late to seize the day and use the time we have left on earth to pursue our passion.

Passion, however, requires some time for it to unfold itself in our lives.  It can be stubborn to reveal itself so it might not come forward right away when we first enter the real world because more likely, and sadly, what we do when we first enter the real world is something we don't want to do for the rest of our lives; it takes trial and error for us to discover it for ourselves and we might have to go through some rough batches on the road that leads to it.  The good news is it's never too late to find our passion in life.  A friend of mine has the passion to travel to China and do medical mission trips there.  She works with a foundation in Northern California that provides medical services to the rural areas in China and she loves it.  Her initial plan was to go to medical school after her undergraduate years but she decided to do missionary work over becoming a physician.  I was always confused on why she chose the missionary path over the physician path since she would make ten time more as a doctor than what she is currently doing; she loves what she does in China and her smile shows it in every picture I see of her in the field working and especially when she gives testimonies.  Sometimes, finding our passions in life can be difficult, especially if there is not much opportunities, but when we give ourselves time to discover our passion, our patience will be paid off and we will be joyful at whatever path we choose later on in our walk in life.

Quote of the Day

"The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages."- Virginia Wolf


When we care so much about what other people think, their eyes become our prisons and their thoughts our cages.

It's Not About Me

I talked to my sister about a person whom I have been having conflicts with lately for the past months and our conversation helped me to understand the person at a deeper level and despite how angry I was, my anger is dissipating gradually away.  Knowing more about this person helps me not to only see him differently but also life differently.  Life is not about me. Life is far more than our own passions and goals in life.  Life is about giving a hand and touch other people's life.  When I am able to touch other people's life, I am not only giving a piece of myself to them but they are also giving a piece of themselves to me; so it's always a two-way street when we put things in perspective: the giver and the receiver are benefiting from the act and we are never ever the same again.  Life is not about trying to make as much money as possible or trying to prove yourself to the world; life is about enjoying it with other people and knowing that no matter what happens there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

The Great Canyon

I just came back from the Grand Canyon after driving a total of sixteen hours.  The distance was what I dreaded the most but in the end, the trip and the time on the road were all worth it; the Grand Canyon was not called "grand" for no reason; it is a huge valley with large and tall rocks on both side; the majestic of the canyon holds one of the world's breathtaking views and a person will never leave the location as the same person. It's one of nature's creation that leaves a person standing in awe and walking away more humble than before; at the Grand Canyon National Park, there are viewpoints where the visitors can see the canyon from different angle and at every site, the views look quite similar except maybe the rocks formation and the colors of the canyons were a bit different.  The canyon are made out of different layers of rocks and a geologist would love to dissect the layers and study them at every part and turn.

As a lover of traveling, I enjoy reading about the places I visit before I go there; the science behind how the canyon and rocks were formed was something I cherish but what drew me to the canyon is the natural way the earth formed it; the canyons were not forced or human-made.  In fact, they are there because the earth made it that way and there is no argument or complaint from the land in the canyon and as the result, it is beautiful in its own way without trying or forcing anything onto it. In the same way, we, as humans, are most satisfied and beautiful in our own way when we stop trying to change our circumstances; when we accept the way life is and continue to live to our very best ability, we begin to be more joyful; when we fight the way thing is and when we have expectations, we become unhappy when things do not go our way.

The Grand Canyon accepts whatever storms, whatever river currents hit it, whatever humans trying to climb it, whatever wildlife lives on it, etc; most of behaviors--whether cause by humans or mother's nature-- cause certain strains on the natural land of the canyon and it welcomes it; it is still beautiful today despite all the hardships it had to go through.  In fact, the strains causing by nature (erosion from the water and the wind) creates a landmark that visitors will never forget.  Similarly, we can be like the Grand Canyon; we can be happy and beautiful when we stand firm on our ground when any life storm hits us.  In life, we do not have control over many life circumstances, but one thing we do have control over is how we react to them.  Go ahead, embrace whatever you are going through and, you never know, they might turn you into a better person than before.

The American Oxygen

The song “American Oxygen” came on the radio station recently on a local station and its patriotic sound and lyrics give a new freshness to the singer Rhianna who generally sings about heartbreaks and romance.  The video shows the different aspects of the American life; for instance, a clip of the 9/11 attack, Americans living out their life in the cities, American leisure activities such as baseball, and of course wars and protests in the past and in the present were shown throughout the entire five minute video.  In addition, there were scenes of the announcement of the death of Martin Luther King and the boat people on the sea and other important historic events in America. 

 As a child of immigrants, the song reminds me how blessed I am to be living in a country that is full of boundless opportunities. I can be whoever I want to be; I can be a physician, an engineer, business woman, a housewife, and the best part is my right and privileges are protected by the law; there will be no government or personnel who will tell me I cannot be what I want to be because I am a woman or because of my religion and my race.  The American dream is possible for those who believe in it, however, in order to obtain our dreams, we have to work hard for it; sitting on the sofa all day and being passive to our goals are recipe to failures and those habits will result in nothing but regrets later on when we look back and the worst part is not living our life to the fullest.  The downside to being an American sometimes is we forget the opportunities that our country can bring to our lives.  Sometimes, Americans are so spoiled by the great opportunities that we choose not to work for it while many people around the world would do whatever it takes to live and work in this land of opportunities.  The good news is it is never too late to take that first step and make changes to our lives.  It’s not easy when we are so comfortable at the stage of our lives but taking that first stepping stone may open us to experiences that will turn our life upside down and as a result, our American dream becomes more clearer every day.    So acknowledge the American Oxygen we have, breathe it in, make use of it, and we will never be the same. 

The Strongest Person I Know

Growing up, the woman who gave me life and cooked for me every single day was not someone who I would  imagine looking up to.  I am speaking of my mother.  She was this complaining Asian woman who--I thought--knew nothing about life in America and who has got to learn English (my mom speaks little to no English).  Boy, my judgement was incorrect. As I get older, I learned my mom has gone through many obstacles that I would not imagine myself in or would I ever recover; but she did pass through those obstacles and she became a strong and wise woman because of them; she recovered and jumped back into building her life.  She is a strong woman and her words and actions verify the fact; she is not in anyway a show-off or an arrogant woman.  She knows her strength and weaknesses and she uses them accordingly to each circumstance that life brings out.  For instance, she raised four little girls and we are all fine to this day; each of us has a job and is pursuing some sort career.  My mom pushes each one of my siblings so we can succeed in life and be able to function on our own.  With ample of experiences of the real world, she is an inspiration that many young women would look up to for advice and support.  My mom is the strongest person I know and she will always be the person I look up to as a role model.

Who is the strongest person you know?

Pain

Pain. We don't like it. We hate it. We avoid it. We run way from it.  It's a feeling that affects our mental and physical self and people see it in us when we are going through it.  It's not a pleasant or a desirable feeling. No one wants it but we all go through it at some point of our life. There are benefits to the pain and when we push ourselves to pass it, we are changed forever, and the best part of the process is that when we look back, we see the silver lining of our painful experiences.  It's not easy but everything is possible for those who believe and those who are willing to do the impossible.  First of all, pain helps us grow as a person; it opens our eyes to see life from different angles and we are forever changed from our pain.  Generally speaking, our pain helps us see what needs to be changed.  Sometimes, pain results from certain flaws that we have and we have to be honest with ourselves to why it happens and how we can be avoid it in the future. Pain is an awful experience but we need it now and then. It is a medicine that a sick patient needs to be in a better health. It can do a lot of good in us and help us to get on the better path in life if we give it a chance to do it.

A Letter to the Past Me

My old self was definitely one naive person; I did not know my place in society, how it works, and what I want out of the world. And because of my inexperiences, I ran into situations where I least wanted.  If it was not my past, I would not be a stronger and smarter person today; everyday, I learn quicker and everything I see in life begins to make to more sense and the picture is coming together, pieces by pieces.  Now, painful experiences not only helped me to become a stronger person, they help me to know what needs to be changed in my life.  It was not easy to go through some of the experiences but they were all worth it. If I have the opportunity to talk to my old self, I would tell them the following advise:

1.  Enjoy your teen years. Life is short. The four years will be short so enjoy it as much as possible.
2. Learn how to build relationships--personally and professionally-- and be intentional about it.
3. It is okay to make mistakes.  Mistakes help you to be a better person when you learn from them.
4.  Instead of worrying, take action and the outcomes will be much better.
5.  It is okay to date as many people as possible; it helps you find who you want to be with for the rest of your life.
6. Think for yourself. The skill will help you in your future jobs and in school.
7.  Money is important in life but do not make it your idol.
8.  Problem solving skills are important.
9.  Be strong.  Many problems can be solved just by adjusting your mindsets. Be strong and hold on to what you believe in.

How to be stronger

For most of us, we shy away from the activities they are afraid all the time.  We are afraid of rejection, failures, criticisms, the unknown, the problems that would come with doing something we are unfamiliar with. Despite how many negative experiences that may come with doing something we don't know, there is one characteristic that we gain from doing something we are not familiar with: we become a stronger person.  We gain the courage that would take us to other unknown places in the future--whether it's in our professional or personal part of our lives-- when we expose ourselves to what we do not know and afraid of.  For instance, traveling abroad, eating unfamiliar food, talking strangers, standing up for yourself, and thinking for yourself are a few decisions that would shake us and where we can become deathly afraid.  The reason being is that we do not know what to anticipate and what will happen and fear is the main cause of all the hesitation and the unwillingness to attempt any of those actions.  However, when we remind ourselves that we will stronger as person, the decision to take action will be much more easier and we will more likely attempt what we want to and what we have in mind.  So go ahead and do what you are afraid of because in the end, it will pay off and you will be a better person.

Go ahead, read the tabloids

Many people believe that reading the tabloids is a waste of time; the celebrities just want attention and their lives do not reflect a typical family and etc.  However, I do not believe so.  I have followed the tabloids since the age of 11 and I still enjoyed reading it now and then out of sheer boredom and fun, and especially on my days off of work.  I used to be embarrassed by the act; for one thing, I would read the magazines on the news stand rack at the grocery stores where no one would catch me.  And if I had to read it in the library, I would hide the magazines under my stack of college textbooks and prayed that no one would see the nonsense I was reading.  My actions were definitely pure childish and they are evident of how uncomfortable I was of myself .  Today, I read the magazines in public places and I just don't care about what other people's thoughts are.  Here are a few reasons why: for one thing, celebrities are just like any of us; they go through tough and happy time and we all can learn from their decisions and this eventually can help us be a better person.  Secondly, I learn to think for myself. I am fine with reading the tabloids since it won't hurt anyone or me at any level.  I am fine with having people stare at me for being a grown adult and enjoying the thin pages of booklets that talk about the lives of Taylor Swift, Beyonce, Orlando Bloom, etc.  It's a part of growing up and to know that it's acceptable to do what I want is freedom even if the mass does not approve. So readers, be whatever you choose to be and do whatever you want because the person who has to live with the consequences is you and you alone, and why not do what you love to do? In the end, no one give a care about you.  

He gives and he takes away

For the past seven months of my life, I have been living with a dog named Lucky.  My family never intended to keep one or even live with one but Lucky happened to crawl into our backyard one day and my mother decided to keep him as a pet.  The closest to a pet we ever got was two turtles my sister bought at an Asian New Year festival more than a decade ago; we fed it and kept it safe but one day, the two turtle disappeared and our hypothesis was they crawled out of the small plastic clear container we put them in and they walked away.  But hey, that's not a verified generalization; for all I know, anything could have happened to them.  Someone could have grabbed those two reptiles and threw them in a nearby pond out of sheer anger or resentment or they could have been eaten my the neighbor's dog who used to visit my front yard now and then out of pure enjoyment and curiosity. My family will move soon to a new house and pets are not allowed to be on the vicinity of the neighborhood; so sadly, my mother has to give the dog away and we found it a home where he will have other pet companies as well.  My mom said Lucky showed signs of sadness lately but she might be speaking for herself since she felt in love with him for past few months; she used to be afraid while touching him but now, she held him and even kissed his forehead like she did with my two nephews when they were only infants.

As for me, I came to love that little brat as well; I love seeing him sleeping and searching for food on the floor of the kitchen.  I love giving him daily walks and holding him on the crux of my arms.  After I found out we had to let him go, I almost felt into tears; my attachment toward him was definitely more than I expected and my love for him is as great as the love for any human beings I have ever care for.  One lesson I got out of this experience is that things come and go in our lives and sometimes we just have to accept it.  My struggle to acknowledge and accept this fact has been on a rocky road; when I have an attachment to something, I cannot let it go; I hold onto it like a baby holding onto the milk bottle as if that is the only life line that is left.  Christianity teaches, "He [God] gives and he takes away"; life is like that: it takes away something when the time is up, no matter what is the time frame, and we have to move on with the future. Aging has taught me how to accept things for what it is at a quicker pace than when I was a kid, maybe it's part of growing up, maybe it's just how life supposed to be.

Some Early Morning Thoughts

It's May 1st;  I cannot believe where all the time goes. I cannot believe it's the year 2015.  I graduated high school ten years ago and it just seemed like yesterday that I stepped my first foot in high school.  It seemed like yesterday that I started to drive.  It seemed like yesterday that I started college.  It seemed like yesterday my family first came to the United States.  Every event seems so close but in actuality, they existed beyond my reach and passed away a decade or more ago.  I want to take time back and undo many unproductive activities but I can't.  Time doesn't and will never wait for anyone; it doesn't care about my need or want; this fact is a part of life and I have to flow with it. I have to adapt to it. I have to be a part of it and go with it if survival is my main purpose in life.  We know that time doesn't wait for us so the best thing we all can do is make the best of our time.  Instead of doing something unproductive such as worrying and wasting time away, we can choose to do something productive where it will help us to be a better person and grow on our walk of life.  It's not easy at time, but when we focus hard enough,we find ourselves more productive and more free.  So let time be its own entity; we have no control over it and we are not meant to control it.  Sometimes surrendering is the best route to joy and when we discover this, we eventually become a new and a better person.