The Sameness

Christmas was yesterday and like many Americans, my family came together and enjoyed some  good food and fun. Our food consisted of a mix of Asian cuisine and American dishes. We had some ham on the side, all cooked up by a friend of my aunt and some Vietnamese spring rolls and many other dishes that I was unable to put a name on. Christmas has always been a special time in my heart. It was a time of giving and receiving and spending some quality time with the family members whom I have not seen for the past year. We had lunch together then opened presents under the Christmas tree that my sister put up every year at her house.

This year feels different. I don't know if time changed me or if the holiday got old. I do not feel the same enthusiasm and excitement that I once had when I was a teen and in my early 20s. Christmas felt like just another day in the year. I do not feel depressed or empty, more like apathetic to what is going on on this special day that the world looks at very jovially.

I am at the stage of my life where the question of what is my purpose in life pops up consciously and subconsciously.  I have been traveling a lot for the past two years and it gave me a better understanding of the world around me and definitely who I am as a person.  In the book "The Giver," the world of the main character Jonas is always the same and orderly. Family are put together by a committee and children are given to the family to take care of base on their personality.  Each family has a parent and the children are a boy and a girl--no family unit can deviate from that formula. The world is always perfect and if there is any wrong doing--a rude remark, a blatant response, an unwise comment-- by a member, an apology and chastisement are required.  The people's life are all assigned by a group of wiser people, also known as the Elders, in the book; they are given the job for the rest of their life base on their personality.   Everywhere the characters look, there is no color; is is black and white only.  I feel like my world has became that: a black and white Sameness story where nothing much happened and where I know there is so much more in life than the one that I hold.

As humans, we want to know the purpose of our life and it always use different channels to show us what our purpose is and is not.  Whatever happens in life, it is always our responsibilities to discover our own purpose and to take an active position in looking for it rather than sitting around in the living room hoping for a miracle to happen. The key is to actively seek for our purpose and to always hold onto the hope that it will come to us one day.  The key is to always hope.