The Critic

The Critic. There will always be a critic in our lives. We will run into them in the most unexpected place and may not even be able to avoid them at times.  We fret over them and care so much about what they say and think about us as if our lives depend on them when there existence may have nothing to do with our daily life.  We may only see them in a small glimpse of our life and may even see them only once in our lives.  They are there and it is in their nature to critique and judge us even if we did nothing wrong to them and even if we are just being ourselves and just trying to live life.  For instance, picture a boss who always has something negative to say about you; no matter how hard you work on a project and how much effort you put into the work, he is never satisfied with your work despite how correct and innovative and spectacular it is. You cry and fret over this one person who seem to be such a big part of your life and whose ghost is always there no matter what you do. You sense his presence in your favorite restaurants, your favorite shopping venue, your home, etc.

What if we rethink about who this critic is? What if we define who this person is?  Is he worth your attention? Is he worth your time to fret over it?

I believe pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.  Critics will cause pain no matter what and they are everywhere, he will trigger our insecurity and shake our foundation and cause us to question who we are as a person. Over the years, I learned to deal with these people and some of the ways to deal with them are:

1. Ignore the critics. No matter what you do, they will always zoom in the negatives of your life.  Why bother give your attention to them? From my past experience, when you ignore them, they eventually stop what they are doing.  They crave attention and especially yours so when you take your attention away, their action will die down.

2.  Use the criticism to improve yourself as a person. Sure, the critics' opinion may seem outlandish but you have to admit that it may be right at some point. Do not let it get in your way of improving yourself. Take the opportunity to examine what they say and correct your action accordingly and use it to better yourself.  This is your opportunity to grow so don't miss out.

3.  Question what the critics say about you. Do they know you as a person enough to say that? Do they have the credential and the life experience to judge you? If the answer is no to any of these questions, go ahead and take a pass to their opinions.

4.  Focus on the people who love you for who you are and know you.  They are your foundation and they will help you grow as a person and you can lean on them anytime.  Put them as a priority in your life because when the storm comes, they will be the life boat that you want to get on.

All in all, critics are everywhere. They can cause pain but they can't hurt you unless you let them to.  My last note is to always create your life and don't let others define who you are.