The Little Self

I recently moved to a new home and after cleaning my old garage, I rediscovered my old journals in a big square plastic box. The oldest one dated back in 2003. I was fifteen then and despite how much I tried to act like a grown-up, I was never cut for it and people could smell my immaturity miles away.  I did not know a clue who I was, I did not know what I should focus on in life, I did not know how to make friends and how to keep a friendship. Let's say, that 15-year-old me was definitely nothing like me today. As I flipped through the pages, there mentioned about the upcoming exams, projects, speeches, and even a paragraph written extensively about my decision on what I should do during one weekend.

My 15-year-old self was too wrapped up on the petty and unimportant details in life that she forgot what was truly out there in the world.  Life is not about a chemistry test, it's not about that first boy we kissed or had the biggest crush on in ninth grade, it's not about the horrible trip on a Mexico cruise, it's much more than that.  Instead of worrying, I would tell my 15-year-old self to relax and take things one day at a time.  It's okay to get a 70% on a test now and then, it's okay to get caught when you cheated on a test in your Spanish class and get detention after school, and it's more than okay to date that bad boy even if he breaks your heart.  And the best part is it would not be the end of the world if any of this happened.

When we look back, our problems become small and insignificant and in reality they really are. If a boy breaks up with you, it's more than okay to cry and then move on.  If that job and career did not work out, move on, and remember there will be better one for us.  Time does do a lot of good in us; it helps us see the reality of situations and shine the light on what truly matters. No matter what hardships we have to go through in our 20s, 30s, 40s, and beyond, we have to remember that the problems will be nothing but a speckle part of our lives and they will never determine who we are.  They are tests that help us to see who we are and help us grow as a person.  Maturity, then, is not an accumulation of years we live on earth, it is based solely on our understanding of what happens to us and our willing to march on in our walk in life.  So we have to trust that everything happens for a good reason and enjoy every moment of the way, because that very moment might be the very thing that we need to shape us who we are today.